"As dumb as" alternatives for cruiser to use

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Grateful Deadline Posted - 1/4/2014 9:41:46 PM | show profile | flag this post

You've worn out the "sack of hammers" and the "box of rocks," pal. This is 2014, and we demand better entertainment!

Here are some alternatives for you to try when you want to make certain that everybody else on the forum knows that you think the other guy is acting juvenile:

-- As sharp as a bowling ball
-- Half a bubble off plumb
-- Three pickles shy of a quart
-- If you had birdbrains, you'd fly backward
-- If they put your brain on the head of a pin, it would roll around like a BB on a six-lane highway
-- So dumb you couldn't teach a hen to cluck
-- Your brains don't weigh an ounce of ideas to the ton
-- You couldn't drive a nail into a snowbank
-- You've got nothing under your hat but hair
-- You couldn't find a football in a washtub
-- You couldn't find your own butt with both hands
-- Somebody stole your rudder
-- So dumb you're studying to be a half-wit
-- Your vocabulary is as bad as, like, whatever.
-- Your light bulb's only a 4-watter
-- So dumb you'd put a screen door on a submarine
-- So dumb you don't know whether to check your ass or scratch your watch

mpdodgson Posted - 1/5/2014 2:37:01 AM | show profile | flag this post

"check your ass or scratch your watch"

Now, that's funny.

Got some more:

1. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
2. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
3. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
4. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
5. Forgot to pay his brain bill.
6. A few clowns short of a circus.
7. If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
8. Too much yardage between the goal posts.
9. A few beers short of a six-pack.
10. Dumber than a box of hair.
11. A few peas short of a casserole.
12. One taco short of a combination plate.
13. All foam, no beer.
14. The cheese slid off his cracker.
15. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
16. Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt. 2
17. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear. 18. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
19. As smart as bait.
20. His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
21. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
22. Surfing in Nebraska.
22. In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little farther apart than most.
23. One sandwich short of a picnic.
24. The light's on, but nobody's home.
25. If dumb were dirt, he'd cover about an acre.

Oh yea, and he's Kenyan.

cruster Posted - 1/5/2014 11:23:11 AM | show profile | flag this post

Heard this One Years Ago

Dumb as mushroom soup.

mpdodgson Posted - 1/5/2014 12:14:09 PM | show profile | flag this post

And that was a good one...

And I plan on stealing it. Mushroom soup.

cruiser Posted - 1/5/2014 12:33:45 PM | show profile | flag this post

This is the consummate example of the

stupidity of the left wing fringe on here. None...that's NONE...of them are interested in real, rational, give-and-take discussion. With them it's all personal attacks and ad hominem. Along with that is knee-jerk defense of unproven and unprovable left wing talking points and the left wing agenda regardless of the science involved or the evidence I post that shreds their arguments. Hear no evil, see no evil...

Just look at the immaturity and childishness embodied in this entire thread. When was the last time you saw a group of supposedly intelligent adults...many of whom claim to be middle aged or more, most or all of whom claim to be journalists...spending time dreaming up ridiculous lists like the above?

This is a complete waste of my time, with which I have far better things to do.

cruster Posted - 1/5/2014 1:33:27 PM | show profile | flag this post

More Proof cruiser is a Bot

"This is a complete waste of my time, with which I have far better things to do."

As previously predicted: "Finally cruiser bot posts a claim that it is "through with you and your kind pal and or dearie" and the bot moves on to a new subject on a separate thread."

In this case the program jumped ahead by several posts before activating the "I don't have time for this" program. But remember, the algorithms in cruiserbot are designed to read certain syntax in posts and react.

It's certainly a mushroom soupism on the part of cruiserbot, but in keeping with the code writer's intent.

To be indubitably egregious. Pal.

Grateful Deadline Posted - 1/5/2014 2:00:04 PM | show profile | flag this post

It also seems to indicate that the cruiser-bot generates only two phrases when arguing that it is mature and intelligent as it calls other posters stupid: "box of rocks" and "bag of hammers."

The cruiser-bot appears to have a tool orientation, rocks being the forerunners of hammers. Further evidence that it was manufactured? We must drill into this matter further.

con Posted - 1/5/2014 3:30:40 PM | show profile | flag this post

this topic and responses to this topic is simply egregious. i would expect more from your kind- but i would be let down.

keep attacking me. keep goobering it down.

my sources are facts.my knowledge is vest.

i done. i have better things to do with my time.

Grateful Deadline Posted - 1/5/2014 4:24:06 PM | show profile | flag this post

Well, *that* was creepy!

cruster Posted - 1/5/2014 4:24:31 PM | show profile | flag this post

con old buddy!

Good to see you under this screen name!

Egregiously good! Indubitably.

Have you thoughterate of any new things to say?

No? Well, blame Obama!

Ha ha ha!!!

Quinntessential Posted - 1/5/2014 8:05:17 PM | show profile | flag this post

Unfortunately, I have come to expect egregious and disrespectful responses to my factual posts.

I come here for rational debate. I come here for fellowship with other media professionals.

Instead, i am bombed with personal attacks and ad hominem.

Debating posters who get their "facts" from Media Matters and Think Progress is like debating a box of rocks.

I have neither the time nor the patience. I'm done with this thread.

mpdodgson Posted - 1/5/2014 8:15:39 PM | show profile | flag this post

So quint, con and cruise

all post almost exactly the same thing? Imagine my shock.

It was all in good fun guys. Lighten up. At least I left out the Three Stooges.

Grateful Deadline Posted - 1/5/2014 8:17:47 PM | show profile | flag this post

Never heard of Media Matters or Think Progress.

Synopsis, please?

Grateful Deadline Posted - 1/5/2014 8:34:21 PM | show profile | flag this post

You probably don't need to address them as plural, mp.

Did you know studies have shown that a good sense of humor indicates high intelligence?

Quinntessential Posted - 1/5/2014 8:36:00 PM | show profile | flag this post

Error 651 Error 651 Error 651 Errorrrrr

mpdodgson Posted - 1/5/2014 9:09:33 PM | show profile | flag this post



Nuff said.

etaoin shrdlu Posted - 1/6/2014 9:16:14 AM | show profile | flag this post

I would just like to commend...

my fellow posters here for their great public service in providing cruzo with an idiom thesaurus.

This should keep his unintentionally funny posts from being so stale.

Let me chime in with some alternatives to "dearie:"

1. Doll
2. Doll Face
3. Pet
4. Precious (or "My Precious" since I can so clearly see him saying it)

Some alternatives for "pal:"

1 amigo
2. compadre
3. buddy
4. chum
5. compadre
6. comrade
7. mate
8. musketeer,

Some for "egregious" -- one of two recurring words he's assigned to his "Quinn" alter-ego:

1. blatant
2. conspicuous
3. flagrant
4. glaring
5. gross
6. obvious
7. patent
8. pronounced
9, rank
10. striking

And then, all we need is for some enterprising person to collect these words and phrases into a "Cruiser Post Generator" -- so he can simply click one button, then cut and paste the response here!

Grateful Deadline Posted - 1/6/2014 12:42:06 PM | show profile | flag this post

More alternatives to "dearie:"

-- Honey
-- Honeybunch
-- Sweetie
-- Sweetie pie
-- Sugar
-- Sugar pie
-- Sugarlump
-- Lamby-kins
-- Girlfriend
-- Baby
-- Babydoll
-- Babycakes
-- Babe
-- Angel
-- Chickie
-- Chick-a-babe
-- Cowgirl
-- Grrl
-- Kiddo
-- Mamacita
-- Peaches
-- Tater Tot

Alternatives to "Pal" and "Junior:"

-- Bubba
-- Guy
-- Papi
-- Studley
-- Brotha
-- Bro
-- Son
-- Tiger
-- Schmoopy

con Posted - 1/6/2014 2:53:15 PM | show profile | flag this post


another thread turned into a liberal circle jerk. stay classy libs.

Grateful Deadline Posted - 1/6/2014 3:25:21 PM | show profile | flag this post

Of course, con! That's EXACTLY what synonyms and similes are: men masturbating other men!

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