Over the weekend, 150 “lucky winners”, journalists and others boarded a plane to Jamaica. Few, if any of them, paid for the trip (the journalists were offered the option to pay if they felt uncomfortable taking a free trip). They drank Red Stripe along the way, sampled Starbucks Via, the coffeemaker’s new instant variety and regaled (probably) one another as the JetBlue flight soared through the skies.

The 3-day trip was hosted by Thrillist.com.

Meanwhile, we sat in New York and froze, unable to join the party despite having been invited. These types of things apparently aren’t news, and therefore accepting such an invitation would somehow be inappropriate. Whatever, it’s probably a really good time &#151 but ultimately it’s pointless unless your job is to test products like airplanes and Jamaica and then write about them.

Our job is to write about this industry’s efforts to convince consumers to buy other companies’ products. The flight was packed with brands and consumers alike &#151 and being there would have provided some insight into what people think about brands who do things (which is every brand, so nothing special there) &#151 and everyone would have probably been so happy that their thoughts about the brands involved may have been tainted. Or, at least slightly buzzed up thanks to coffee and beer.

Other brands involved were equally helpful in the pursuit of making attendees happy. Trojan and Gillette made appearances, too. How are these helpful, you may ask? Gillette makes products that help keep a dude’s face smooth, and his genitals too. Ladies can also benefit from Gillette + genitals. With everyone being all slippery (of mind, face and aforementioned genitals), the weekend was sure to end with a few pregnancies, if not nostrils filled with shaving cream &#151 a metaphor for sex.

Also sponsoring: Pom, Fodor’s, Cold-Eeze, H&M. We’re still putting together a full list. Meantime, here’s hoping someone gets crabs. Oops, we mean no one.

Image via Jaunted

More: “Did You Know JetBlue’s CEOs Serve Drinks on Flights?”