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OnDownLow

The ultimate product placement in a statement

Grand prize goes to….

P. Diddy…for this winner published today:

“‘I wax my privates. I also wear my fragrance, Unforgivable Black.’”

TMI!!!! Way more info that you ever wanted to know about any man’s crotch — but would it make you want to go out and buy his signature fragrance after that level of knowledge gained into his personal grooming habits?

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[Source]

I’m back b*tches!!!

Now I like to swear (one of the many few things I have in common with GP)…but certain rules are in place that say I cannot do it in the titles of stories… so hence the selective use of lame icons to take the place of letters…moving on…

So anyway, I sustained an injury that has made it difficult to type — hence the bloody disappearance — I’ll still be random for most of the next few weeks ducking in & out.

One-handed typing is not all that easy (despite what the women in your life might expect from guys — woo… a stereotypical male masturbation-while-typing one-handed zinger!)

Anyway, I had to come back for this — a little quiz for you all — at which I’ll answer at the end of the day.

I’d figure you’d all like to crank up the speculation machine and want to ponder and then guess at it first (and hopefully the lawyers don’t crawl up my ass in the meantime and make me keep in anonymous.) So it goes like this…

What struggling agency (and I do mean “can you hear the death rattle” kind of struggling) has the MD and the ECD apparently camping out every lunchtime to try and figure out how they can leave and start up their own shop?

Apparently it is quite common knowledge amongst “the worker bees” that these conversations are on-going — which has to make them feel secure as well, don’t you think? (Let the photo below be your sensei…)

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Now, that being said, no one can picture the venture that they want to start will actually work because the term “incompetent” is commonly applied to both of them on a regular basis.

Apparently the “credit crunch” has them insecure — as they are unsure where they’ll get the funding to secure the start up of their new venture (apparently they are not as hooked up as P.J. Pereira — pity for them.)

Let your imagination fly kids… soar like a fucking eagle there…

Love always,

DL

Note to Nina DiSesa and “people” of her ilk…

Now as we all know, Nina hates the bloggers… while maintaining her own blog (irony could kill us all!) but if nothing else, the assholes that work at the senior levels of management of ad & marketing agencies need to be put in check every so often — and blogs are a perfect place for us to start with that process.

Today’s call out — Mr. Owen J. Dougherty — with the ubiquitous title of “Chief Communications Officer” at the Grey Group in New York.

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We published a story just over a month ago that mentioned that Stephen Ward had left Grey Atlanta for the greener pastures of Arnold in Boston to work on the Volvo account.

Owen dispatched us a quick e-mail that afternoon to let us know that it was not true and to remove the story — which we did within an hour of getting the request.

Well it turns out today, wouldn’t you know, Grey Atlanta named a new President — replacing who else — the aforementioned Stephen Ward. Replacing a president of a networked agency doesn’t happen in a short period of time — so essential the piece that was written & published at the time was true then as it was today.

Now, I know I called out another PR hack a while ago and you all had your say of how I got “played” at the time — well fuck it, retribution is mine… and the door swings both ways Owen. Thanks for being the inaugural member of the “PR Hack Asshole club.”

Today’s WTF moment

Ok… having been MIA for a bit (work is kicking my arse…but in a good way) I had to come out of hiding to relay this story that occurred to me (and one of my clients who came with me) only this morning.

In an apparently ode to Clarence Thomas (one can only hope) — what major media agency — on a Monday morning in a pristine lobby with white vinyl seating areas — contained what can only be described as “one solitary strand of dark pubic hair” on said white vinyl in the middle of the busy lobby.

Discuss amongst yourselves… the topic should be apparent.

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Carrying the theme…

Seems Publicis in the West — based in Seattle — laid off several this morning as well — both freelancers & creatives.

Susan Giannino, Chairman and CEO of Publicis USA, was out there visiting a couple of weeks ago — and we were told that it was a routine visit and that everything was going great.

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Maybe not so much — we’ll hit up the PR people to see how they spin it this time…keeps “hump day” interesting if nothing else.

Critical Mass… well turns out not so critical….

Well unless you look at it as “critical condition” — seems they laid off a few people in their Chicago office in the past couple of days.

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We don’t have exact numbers yet, but the Omnicom-owned digital agency laid off “several” including creative director Mike Rezac who worked on the Las Vegas Tourism. Sources say “financial concerns” were the reason.

Today’s odd ad: W+K latest for Honda

Reminiscent of the Lexus ads of a few years ago that showed tropical forests and coastlines and nothing else (I think it was Lexus at least — feel free to correct me if needed) — comes W+K’s latest ad for Honda.

Sure you can drive traffic to the website mentioned in the ad (and this is going along with the whole “integration” theme that agencies work with their clients) — but I don’t see the point to the entire thing.

It is one of a series of ads themed around skydiving — but someone please tell me what it has to do with selling cars — or cars in general, at all?

F1 Driver slated to pimp Reebok brand

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Lewis Hamilton, last year’s 2nd place finisher in the F1 circuit in his debut season, is slated to sign a deal to become a “global brand ambassador” for Reebok.

It is expected to be worth about $20 million a year — not bad scratch for a guy who has been on the world racing scene for only a year.

Hamilton, a sporting megastar in the UK, will join football stars (or “soccer” for the heathens in the crowd) Thierry Henry and Andrei Shevchenko as fellow global ambassadors on the Adidas-owned company.

Traditionally, McLaren does not allow its drivers to seek deals outside its own pool of sponsors, which in addition to Vodafone includes Hilton, Hugo Boss, Santander and Tag Heuer. (I’m sure they’ll have to work out a deal for a huge patch on the driver’s firesuit.)

However, despite having only one year’s track experience in F1, Hamilton is one of sport’s most marketable stars, prompting McLaren to make an exception.

Domino’s = bunch of lying bastards

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Domino’s at the beginning of the year vows to freeze the price of their items through the end of the year — because they have guaranteed fixed costs on all the ingredients. So guess what happens?

Hell yeah… they raised prices on average $2 a pizza as of last week.

All due to the “growing food crisis” on-going on a global basis — so it is not always the ad agencies who fuck it up for the brands — sometimes they are fully capable of doing it themselves.

The Brits have good taste in food apparently (who knew?)

In a poll conducted for Marketing Magazine by Joshua G2, McDonald’s comes out as the most hated brand in the UK.

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Of course, regardless of whether a brand has inspired great love or a full-on fatwa, it has at least elicited a definite response from consumers, meaning that not only are they aware of its existence but have strong feelings toward it, neither of which is necessarily a bad thing. (following the mantra “Any publicity is good publicity”)

The aptly named Jill McDonald, McDonald’s chief marketing officer for Northern Europe, admits that McDonald’s is a polarising brand. Despite this, according to the chain, 70% of the UK population say they will eat at one of its restaurants at least once over a 12-month period. (some might argue that “McDick’s” has better offerings than typical British cuisine — discuss amongst yourselves…)

On the flipside an unprecedented number of technology brands appear in the most-loved list, with Nokia taking top spot, iPod third and social networking site Facebook making its debut in fifth.

You can find more here.

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