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And Now, the Post-State of the Union Gospel from Jordan Zimmerman

Yes, folks, the muscle-bound, self-proclaimed “Alpha Dog” and proprietor of Omnicom-owned, Fort Lauderdale-based agency Zimmerman continues his apparent quest to reach Fox News-level punditry by offering his own response to President Obama‘s state of the union address (and without a Poland Spring water bottle in sight, no less). With printed talking points in front of him, Zimmerman, who last discussed “parking his assets” in the wake of Obama’s reelection, now preaches about the deficit, unemployment and more. To sum it all up if you can’t make it through the seven-minute sermon, Obama doesn’t “give a damn about the Constitution” according to Zimmerman. Happy Friday!

Op-Ed: What Can Digital Marketers Learn from the Election?

Huge marketing strategist lead Josh Seifert returns with his monthly contribution to this here site. The headline should give you the basic premise of our scribe’s latest entry, in which he reveals who really won out in the wake of the 2012 election. Take it away, sir.

Living in New York, I thankfully did not have to endure the billions of dollars spent on political advertising this election myself, but now that the results are in and our feeds on Facebook and Twitter are returning to their normal political apathy, it’s probably worth exploring what we as marketers learned from politics this year.

Losing a United States Senate race in a conservative state as a Republican used to be the hardest thing in the world, but as Todd Akin and Richard Mourdock learned, the potential impact of saying something stupid is even greater than it used to be. Inflammatory gaffes now extend far beyond the news cycle with social media and instant memeification reaching people who have long since tuned out traditional media coverage. While brands rarely have occasion to address topics as controversial as politicians do, their offline behaviors still have significant potential to be amplified and shared for long periods of time far beyond the incident. Just ask FedEx executives if this old package delivery YouTube video is what they want people finding and watching nearly a year later. Fortunately for brands, this can be merely damaging and not wholly destructive.

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And Now, Your Weekly Video Miscellany

If you’re reading this, you probably survived the storm, and all the hand-wringing that lead up to it. They say the advertising industry is full of heart-bleedy liberals, but all sorts of political views were put aside to help the recovery along – which is fantastic. I for one am a little bit proud of everyone who came together, even if it was just loaning out wifi to neighbors whose Time Warner Cable service was down. That’s the neighborly thing to do – and as a thanks, we’re being neighborly with the good-video-sharing. That is to say, here’s some clips to finish off your day, and the long week that lead you here.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Post Democalypse 2012 – America Takes a Shower – Fox News Meltdown
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

5. Where Jon Stewart points out some obvious skullduggery played by Bullshit Mountain News, where an avalanche (the election) rocked the mineral formation to its spurious core this week, in such a way that you are forced to take pity on the arbiters of the “Republican” story.

4. John Lewis has here a holiday commercial you may take interest in. Here, a snowman treks a long while in order to, well, something. The narrative is rich and the payoff sweet, like a perfect holiday truffle wrapped in pretty gold foil. Enjoy this tidbit before some client thing sucks what remains of your hapless soul.

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And Now, Some Post-Election Wisdom from Jordan Zimmerman

With the 2012 presidential election now in the books, where do we turn to bring the country together, to unite us as people, to separate wheat from chaff and tell us “how to protect our assets?” Well, until we find that special someone, for now, we’ll have to make due with some sage post-election thoughts from Jordan Zimmerman, namesake of Omnicom-owned, Fort Lauderdale-based agency, Zimmerman.

The self-proclaimed “alpha dog” and “huge success” posted yet another clip on his blog, “You Sleep When You Die,” following the election results and after viewing it above, we can’t figure out if he’s some scary Donald Trump/Donny Deutsch hybrid, a male Suze Orman, an Obama voter or all of the above. All we can tell now is that thanks to the president’s reelection, he will be “parking some of his assets” in Switzerland. You 99 percenters out there should follow suit.

Facebook Attempts to Be Final Arbiter on Vote Count

Who needs Wolf Blitzer and his CNN Elect-a-Tron 2000 when you have Facebook to tabulate the nation’s votes. A friend sent us this link a little while ago showing us that Facebook is keeping tabs on the nation’s vote in real-time? How? According to the social network, the map you see above reps those who click on an Election Day prompt to share with their friends that they’re voting in the 2012 US election.

We voted at 7:15am EST, when Facebook stats reflected that such activity was dead as fried chicken. But judging by current stats, the number of those taking part in “America Votes” has skyrocketed to well over 200K per hour. Thus far, the expected25-34 Facebook demo is topping the list of those participating and females almost double males on the constantly whirring infographic. We’ll see how dimple chads and crooked Pennsylvania voting machines will play a hand in the final numbers.

Yes, the Election Will Be Determined by Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots

Now, this is democracy at work and it comes to us from of an agency outside the U.S. no less. Just six weeks after turning print ads into iPhone loudspeakers for Coca-Cola, Mauro Cavalletti and crew at JWT Brazil–specifically, the innovations lab at Agencia Casa JWT–have returned with a Twitter-centric effort just in time for Election Day called “Tweet Punch-Out.”

Not quite unlike what a couple of creatives from Dailey came up with back in August, Cavaletti and the JWT lab rats’ project pits Obama versus Romney in the form of blue and red Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots. The Agencia Casa camp hacked the scrappy bots and connected them to live Twitter feeds, which will trigger the toys to throw punches when either Obama or Romney is mentioned. Unlike the real-life debates, there’s no Candy Crowley or Bob Schieffer to rein things in, though judging from the score sheet, Obama’s camp might have to throw in the towel in this particular fight. Go here for all the streaming fun. Credits after the jump.

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Fallon, Jesus Implore Minnesotans to ‘Vote No’

Election season isn’t just a convenient time to realize which of your friends have fundamental beliefs completely different than your own. It’s also a wonderful time to remember that a good portion of American citizens still think that homosexuals should not have the ability to marry. We can send a man to the moon, but we still cannot agree on whether or not we should treat our fellow human beings fairly.

While this may seem like a completely ass-backwards way of thinking to most of you, let me break it down. There are two kinds of people who oppose gay marriage. The first, likely larger, group of people are homophobic bigots whose opposition makes a lot of sense when you consider that they hate gay people. The second group is comprised of those who belong to a religion whose doctrine was either penned by homophobic bigots or interpreted in a way that only selectively adheres to certain parts of scripture while ignoring everything else. The second group has been a strong and vocal part of American culture since this country was founded, being convinced by bigots throughout our history that there was religious justification for slavery, racism, sexism, and now homophobia.

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Joe Alexander & Friends Throw Support Behind Obama in Animated Clip

There’s no children’s choir singing hymns of impending doom a la Jeff Goodby‘s controversial pro-Obama submission (which has since been pulled, drats), but now-official Martin Agency CCO   Joe Alexander and a few of his pals make clear their political leanings via the clip above. The spot, dubbed “Let’s Finish the Job,” was created outside the agency and actually originated with SVA students who Alexander taught last year. It’s perhaps a bit less divisive than what Goodby was preaching, but reiterates what many were chanting during President Obama‘s stop in Ohio this morning: “Four more years.” Feel free to leave your kudos or scorn below. Credits after the jump.

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Barkley Creatives Encourage You to ‘Decide Your Side’

Well, at least we’ve been told this little online poll is the pet project of a handful of “politically-minded” Barkley creatives and seeing as it’s dubbed “Decide Your Side,” we imagine they are. Consider this web effort a quick game of 20 questions, where, for example, you can choose between Star Wars and Star Trek, dog and cat, booze and weed, etc. At the end, your answer for each gets lumped into individual infographics where you can see how Romney and Obama supporters measure up. Surprisingly, most questions have ended up with pretty even results, though Romney has clearly locked the booze-preferring demo. If this doesn’t help you undecideds out there, we don’t know what will.

Jeff Goodby Wants to Help the Kids of Tomorrow, Encourages Voting for Obama via Song

Though a registered, albeit “lapsed” Republican, Jeff Goodby is letting the world know where his allegiances lie this election year and is doing so via  a web film/song. The passion project, which was penned by Goodby and art directed by his GS&P partner-in-crime Rich Silverstein, lets a chorus of kids paint a rather drab portrait of the future, one that’s a result of their parents not voting for Obama. Here’s the intro verse that gives you a pretty good idea of where this tune is headed:

“Imagine an America
Where strip mines are fun and free
Where gays can be fixed
And sick people just die
And oil fills the sea”

The black & white motif surely aids the bleak imagery in this clip, which is not an official GS&P product, but one that pulls no punches in conveying whom Goodby’s vote is going to next week.