It’s Friday, and that means it’s time to talk about tampons.

Look at it this way, you’re probably going out bar-hopping tonight, so you’re going to throw up today whether or not the idea of “periods” enters into your lunch hour. I mean, if you throw up now, you won’t be as frightened of doing it around 2 a.m. tonight in the bar bathroom/ an alley way/ your bathtub. No, you’re going to remember that reading about tampons already made you vomit once today, and all things considered, it wasn’t that bad. So, do your business, spit a little after, wipe off your mouth with your shirt sleeve, fire up “Ignition Remix” on the jukebox and order another gin and tonic like a champ. Woo! Friday!

Oh yeah, tampons. I’m a guy, so I’ve never needed one, but according to Kotex, a lot of those other brands are trying to get you to buy into their “hype.” Okay, I can think of three and only three tampon brands off the top off my head: Kotex (the one we’re talking about), Playtex (home of the Gentle Glide don’cha know) and Tampax (sort of like the “Ma Bell” of tampons). Are there generic tampon brands? Like, does Walgreens have “Walpax” or something? I don’t know.

Anyway, the folks at Ogilvy and Mather think other tampon ads are stupid, as women on their periods don’t tend to re-create the Sound of Music or run a 5K because they feel like it. This effort is similar in tone to last year’s “Break the Cycle” campaign from JWT, which sought to fight against advertisers who emphasized that a successful period is one that doesn’t seem to even happen. So, buy Kotex because they’re all like, “We sell tampons, not romance novels. Deal with it.”