Everyone's favorite* ad-mogul-turned-tv-douche, Donny Deutsch spent Friday using his words against English counterpart Piers Morgan during a debate for charity at the new Alfred Dunhill store on 55th and Madison.

Though we're fans of Dunhill, the same cannot be said for the two men chosen for this debate. In fact, we considered attending the event for awhile, but then we remembered the last time we'd seen Deutsch and Morgan on TV. Both occasions left us feeling dumber; and so rather than submit ourselves to more of the same, we sat around and performed self-lobotomies.

In the end, we hear Deutsch won. His take? A $10,000 donation in his name to the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research. In gentlemanly fashion, Deutsch split his donation with Morgan's charity, The Piers Morgan Charity to Aid Piers Morgan. Oh wait, it's actually the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund.

Anyway, to one up both of them, Dunhill threw in an additional $10k, and both charities went home happy. Awww, isn't that sweet! We'll have the video of their debate a bit later today.

*by favorite, we mean least favorite.

Check out some of their more memorable comments from the night, after the jump.

More: "Does Donny Deutsch Wear a Rug?"

Donny Deutsch, who was asked to defend The President vs. The Queen: “I forfeit.”

Donny Deutsch, who was asked to defend Yellow Taxis over Black Cabs: “New York City taxis are amazing. Where else can you be exposed to so many different cultures, aromas and names without vowels than a yellow taxi?”

Donny Deutsch on why New York is better than London: “In New York, you can wander the streets and so many wonderful buildings, shops, restaurants, people. In London, you wander the streets and you see Amy Winehouse. But the real reason New York is superior to London is this: Madonna moved from New York to London. Enough said.”

Piers Morgan on why Editorial is more impactful than Advertising: ??

Piers Morgan on why Football in Europe is better than American Football: “In American football, players wear enough gear to insulate an apartment.”

Piers Morgan on why British Sartorial Elegance trumps American Dress Down: “British men always look better than American men. I always wear suits, and I always wear dunhill. I’ve met the Queen and the Prime Minister face-to-face wearing my suits. Donny has only been seen by the President once when George Bush turned to his show to figure out how he should solve the war in Iraq.