Paris Hilton's film, The Hottie And The Nottie, made $26,000 on 111 screens this weekend. That's about 30 people per venue. And yet - she might get a full reality show based on the same plot. Not all of us are so lucky that we can fail miserably and still get work. It's time for NO WUKKAS - THE JOB HUNT.

1. Deep Focus - Account Director, New York, NY

"I want people that are sponges — people that can soak up information and then wring it out in puddles of genius. People that can tell me the most recent non-fiction book they’ve read. People that understand (and write) blogs. People that know what the EFF is. People that can quote movies and can DJ. People that can compare sneakers with me. People that know creative is just art unless it’s put in the right context and seen by the right people. People that can admit they are wrong. People that know the difference between “its” and “it’s”. People that can beat me in Rock Band. People that have opinions. People that want to rise up-ah. People that believe they can make a difference. People that are willing to use their powers for good — not evil. People who realize that they are consumers too. People that want to be in advertising because they hate advertising. People that are english, psychology, computer science or math majors. People who know who Lee Majors is. People who can not only learn, but teach. People that can lead. And people that are probably reading this right now. Yeah. You."

We're sorry, but all job postings should read this way. We probably couldn't beat Ian Schafer, author of this job posting and CEO of Deep Focus, at Rock Band, but Lee Majors? Check. People who want to be in advertising because they hate it? Check. People who can quote movies - "If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like Gas 'n Sip on a Saturday night, completely alone, drinking beers, no women anywhere?" Got it. It's and its? Damn. Okay. Okay. We screw that up all the time, but that's because we usually write these posts on our Sidekick and hope the intern is doing their job. Hello, intern? You fail us every day. Every day.

Get all the details here.

2. Crispin + Porter - Intergrated Producer, Boulder CO

After watching that puff video that was on Creativity about their Boulder office we think you should apply. You can take up snowboarding. Move the significant other. Whatever. Just apply.

See more details here.

3. JWT Inside - Interactive Art Director, Chicago, IL

"The Interactive Art Director will oversee the artistic development of marketing and promotional materials, including print, radio or television advertisements; collateral; web sites; and internal and external corporate publications. Supervises illustrators, photographers and production artists on projects. Within an agency, the art director works with copywriters to develop strategies for advertising campaigns and often specializes in a particular medium, such as broadcast or print advertising. Requires design background and knowledge of software applications such as InDesign, Illustrator and Photoshop. Five or more years of experience preferred."

See more details here.

4. Deutsch - Junior to Mid-level Copywriters, New York, NY

"We’re hiring copywriters. We have opportunities ranging from junior to mid-level and we’re open to applicants interested in freelance-to-permanent and permanent employment. Our agency’s emphasis is the balance between strategy and smart creative: we’re looking for writers whose concepts develop from a client’s strategic objective, then drive an account’s creative and brand forward. We’re creatively-driven and project-based, changing our staff’s account assignments and media disciplines to keep Deutsch collaborative and integrated."

Get more details here. Oh hold up... the agency also has openings for a Project Manager and a Sr. Web Producer.

5. Seriono Coyne - Group Director, New York, NY

Serino Coyne, is a mid-sized full-service advertising agency specializing in entertainment and theatre related accounts and is part of the Omnicom family. "To apply, please SEND COVER LETTER ALONG WITH RESUME AND SALARY REQUIREMENTS/HISTORY to serinocoyne@yahoo.com." A Yahoo account? This agency is the biggest in the live entertainment sector. Omnicom? They may not be BBDO, but you could give 'em a little bread, you know. Wouldn't kill you.

Get more details here.