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Op-Ed: Two Can’t-Miss Super Bowl Recipes

Our Super Bowl-related submissions continue to roll in, and today, we hear from Brunner ECD-content Rob Schapiro, who indulges us with his own ideal blend for the big game festivities.

Everybody’s looking for good Super Bowl recipes, so here are a couple you might try. The first one below uses a hodgepodge of ingredients that can’t miss if you’re lucky enough to get a shot at a Super Bowl commercial for next year. The second one is my mom’s, who lived in El Paso for 60 years and knows how to make a mean chile con queso.

SUREFIRE SUPER BOWL SPOT

1 finely aged celebrity (male or female)

3-5 semi-clothed celebrities (preferably female)

1 semi-clothed, ink-covered male athlete

4 retired athletes (fully clothed only)

8 faux Euro vampires (male and female)

12 snarky, twenty-something males (with 3-4 days beard-growth)

1-2 babies with computer manipulated mouths

½ lb Puggle (do not substitute Chihuahua)

3 exotic animals (marsupials work best)

16 John Hughes film references

1 extra large or three small explosions

1 exotic environment (arctic works best)

1 licensed hip hop track (can substitute track from hipster, indy band)

Subtitles (optional)

 

Directions:

–Preheat idea one week before serving and seed in media

–Beat aged celebrity for comedic effect

–Dribble female athletes with product messaging and logo

–Bathe ink-covered athlete in light and rotate in front of camera

–Combine all celebrities and athletes and set aside

–Vaporize vampires to capitalize on hype

–Gently sift together with talking babies

–Combine dogs and exotic animals and add to mixture

–Pound snarky twenty-something males using meat mallet or heavy skillet, then discard

–Liberally sprinkle with John Hughes film references

–Gradually stir in obligatory explosions

–Top with exotic environment

–Season to taste with hip hop or hipster track

–Garnish with Regis Philbin

 

Serves 100 million.

 

Recipe allows for leftover content to share in social media.

 

MARCELLA’S EASY CHILE CON QUESO

3 large thinly sliced onions

1 large garlic clove, minced

26 oz. can of long green chilies

l lb. Velveeta cheese (I know, but it works)

¼ lb. longhorn cheese

¼ lb. Monterey jack cheese

1 regular size can of evaporated milk

3 tablespoons of olive oil

 

Cook as follows on medium heat in Crock Pot™:

–Sauté onions, garlic and chilies in oil

–Add cheeses

–Stir until melting

–Add milk gradually

 

Serves 12.

 

Goes well with good sturdy blue corn tortilla chips (sorry Doritos) and Modelo Negro or Especial Beer (sorry Bud).

 

Enjoy.

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