A tipster sends us a memo this morning claiming the 17th floor of Saatchi & Saatchi will be closed as of 7pm this evening so exterminators can come in and debug the place. Literally.
“Our testing shows that the insect condition is limited to the 17th Floor. We will continue to test other floors on an ongoing basis and react accordingly.
As is normal procedure, the second phase of the eradication process will commence at 8pm Friday night and will take approximately 6 hours. Normal environmental conditions will not exist until Saturday noon. Please do not plan to work on the 17th Floor until after 12pm (Saturday).
Everyone on the 17th Floor must vacate the floor by 7pm Friday night. All accessible switchplates and outlet covers will be removed during the day (Friday). In 14 days, we will re-treat the entire 17th Floor to be doubly sure that conditions are 100% satisfactory.
All chemicals used are DEA and EPA registered and approved. If you have any health concerns, feel free to work from home tomorrow. In reference to the bedbugs outbreak.”
But how could an ad agency become infested with such critters? The tipster suggests a recent outfitting of the 17th floor in JC Penney gear may be to blame.
“Notable is the new JCPenney outfitted lounge they installed on the same floor in the free space from all the people they laid off,” says the spy.
Don’t worry about the bed bugs — they’re resilient creatures who like to leave poop smears on things they inhabit, like clothing and chairs and sofas and your skin. Sorry, does that make it worse or better? Take the day off kids, your company just pooped on you. But at least it was in the real sense and not the “Saatchi just fired my ass” metaphorical sense.
Update: A source very close to the matter (but hopefully not so close he/she is bedbugged, assures me the bugs were there before JC Penney. We’re awaiting further verification.