What happens when the self-importance of a major celebrity combines with the inherent ridiculousness of a cologne ad? For the answer, just watch agency KSB+P and production company Sibling Rivalry’s spot for Jay Z‘s new cologne — excuse me, fragrance for men — Gold Jay Z.

“This is Jay Z‘s signature fragrance, so we wanted to capture the power and style of the man but also the sensuality of the fragrance at the same time,” explains kbs+ co-CCO Izzy DeBellis, presumably with a straight face. “We needed to find the right balance of personality and product to make it all work, since it’s easy for anything associated with him to be dominated by the mere mention of Jay Z‘s name.”

Apparently it’s impossible to talk about a “fragrance” without sounding completely pompous. Entirely too self-serious SiblingRivalry creative director Joe Wright says, “The agency and client were as excited as we to produce something that is part art film, part brand launch. It gave us plenty of room to experiment.”

So what is this “art film” promoting Jay Z‘s new fragrance? Well, it’s basically gold paint being dumped on model Heidy De La Rosa, while she holds long poses, interspersed with shots of the blinged-out cologne bottle designed by Jacob The Jeweler. Not exactly experimental. Of course they didn’t just dump gold paint on the model: ”a specialty rig altered the lighting, which responded to the glittery liquid, and appears to morph in density and luminosity as it covers De La Rosa.” So there’s that. The 30-second spot was supposedly edited to “reflect the art of the music video,” but, to me at least, it just looks like another perfume ad. Credits after the jump. Read more