There are two versions of Outback’s “12 Days of Leftovers” commercial: a shorter 90-second video where talking leftover foods like Fuzzy Macaroni and A Half-Eaten Leg of Turkey sing an annoying riff on “The 12 Days of Christmas,” and  a ridiculously long version that drags for 3 minutes and 13 seconds. Christmas songs are already annoying, but with this new holiday push from Deutsch New York, you will hate them passionately.

Never before has the phrase “Congealed Creamed Corn” sounded so ugly. Also, when does macaroni turn fuzzy? Serious questions to ponder when your mind wanders during that long version.

Just a lazy effort to drum up support for a restaurant that offers low prices and the Bloomin Onion. It’s too bad, because when I think of enjoying the holidays, I used to think of Outback Steakhouse. Now, all I can see is the Slab of Slimy Ham. Credits after the jump.

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New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Yes, Hurricane Sandy has come and gone, yet large portions of New York are still far from being rebuilt. Those in New York are aware of this, but those of us in flyover country have, let’s be real, almost completely forgotten about the destruction wrought by the storm only a few weeks ago. Sorry, but it’s true.

So, how do you get Midwest hicks like me to care about helping New York’s disaster relief efforts? Well, one winning strategy would be having a bunch of celebrities tell me that I should care. You see, I find it hard to relate to those people in the Rockaways who lost their homes and more during Hurricane Sandy. However, I love celebrities, and there’s nothing more terrible to me than seeing a movie star look really sad. Deutsch NY and the New York State Governor’s office know these things, which is why they’ve produced a cavalcade of the most New York-y New York-based celebs to tell me that they need my help. If you for one minute thought that Al Pacino and Robert De Niro wouldn’t be in this spot (shot over a weekend) after seeing the title of this post, you are a stupid person.

Joining De Niro and Pacino is this PSA for the Empire Relief Fund are people like Michael J. Fox, Whoopi Goldberg and Steve Buscemi, the last of which is a great casting decision as he always looks kind of sad. For those who need their ads cut down to 30-second bite-sized portions in order to be convinced to give money, here’s exactly that. And, for those of you who have been sufficiently convinced to donate to the cause, visit ReliefNY.org to give. Credits and another PSA after the jump.

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New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Ah yes, boys and girls, nothing rings in the holidays quite like PNC’s Christmas Price Index, which has become an annual tradition like repeat airings of It’s a Wonderful Life, but is actually aimed at making economics somehow digestible for both kids and adults. I don’t know about you, but just watching Trading Places in our high-school economics class did the trick.

Anyhow, this marks the third CPI that Deutsch New York has created for PNC and in case you didn’t know what it actually is, it’s a 29-year-old annual tradition that shows the current cost of one set of each of the gifts given in the holiday tune, “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” According to the campaign site, yes, the Christmas price tag has once again gone up as PNC’s CPI has risen four percent from last year to $25,431.18 (in fact, the last shift downward was in 2002).

In this year’s installment, the parties involved (along with B-Reel) have created an interactive gaming experience where visitors can find missing gifts across 12 locations from NYC to Paris to even Shirakawa-go, Japan using Google Streetview. Don’t worry, “Twelve Days” purists, characters from the Xmas carol are all included in the mix. Now, off on your animated, street-viewing, globe-trotting adventure you go. Select stills and credits after the jump.

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New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

There once was a dog named Phoebe, and from the looks of quotes below, she had quite an effect on the agency world. Hey, it’s Friday and the industry (as well as us) are in or will be in Austin this weekend, so cut us some slack. Anyhow, we lament the loss of an apparently prolific pet, which has appeared recently in ads for Nissan and Milwaukee’s Best.

“Over the past 9 years Phoebe was a mainstay at agencies including TBWA\Chiat Day in LA, and Mother, Y&R and most recently Deutsch in NY. A full breed Papillion, and owner of Deutsch NY’s Director of Art Production Helen O’Neill, she passed away on Tuesday, March 6th. In addition to her work at the office, Phoebe was also a part time model, appearing in ads for Nissan and Milwaukee’s Best, she also graced the cover of Creativity with her bosses from Mother in 2008.

Phoebe’s unexpected passing came from ingesting something laced with poison off of the streets of NYC.

In honor of her contributions to making the workplace a better place for all, and to help other unfortunate animals in our area, we will be hosting a fund raiser for the ASPCA at Il Bagatto on Thursday March 15th.

We asked a few of her employers to share with us a few words:

- Greg DiNoto (CCO Deutsch NY): “Phoebe had brains and beauty and never met an ad she wasn’t afraid to take a piss all over.”

- Rob DeFlorio (Former Partner Mother NY): “Phoebe was the ideal employee at Mother…A good listener that didn’t say too much”

-Val DiFebo (CEO Deutsch NY): “Phoebe roamed the Deutsch halls happily, making people smile. She’ll be missed”

-Lee Clow (Chairman and Global Director TBWA\Worldwide):  “Little Phoebe – I’ll never forget those ears. What a cutie!

-Rob Baird (CD Mother): “Phoebe had such an infectious spirit and energy. She was definitely opinionated and particular, but I think everyone respected her for that. If she liked something you were doing, you knew you’d cracked it.

-Rich Kolopeaua (CD Deutsch – followed Phoebe from Y&R): “I think Phoebe was more interested in art directors than actual work.

-Paul Malstrom (Parther Mother) : “Phoebe started as an intern at Mother, but already within a year she got promoted to Action Team Squad Leader as well as Head of Security. Her rise in the ranks were completely on her own merits, although I think her charm, and beautiful hair had something to do with it as well.  I will miss her very much.”

-Alain Sylvain (Strategery at Sylvain Labs): “Phoebe made work feel like home”

-Allon Tatarka (CD mother): “There are many reason’s why Pheobe’s immense talents were wasted in advertising. Not least of which being that she was a dog, and her main talents were being fluffy and eating tiny bits of kibble. She was, however, our strongest Strategist.”

With the loss of Phoebe, Madison Ave has launched a charity in her memory and, yes, created an email address for her to send your thoughts.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Wow, look what the NFL lockout has done to our pro football stars. First teased and given the snark treatment on Deadspin weeks ago (sorry for the lag, it took us some time to get credits), here’s the full trailer for Peyton and Eli Manning, much anticipated mini-series for DirecTV called “Football Cops.” The plot synopsis: “Two former pro football players who bring their unique brand of law enforcement to one of the country’s toughest neighborhoods.”

Peyton and Eli play Mike Tahoe and C.J. Hunter, respectively, and they use footballs as weapons while wearing mustaches even Cochise would find tacky. According to Deutsch NY, which is behind this send-up that was shot in Brooklyn and promotes the DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket (here’s hoping there’s use for one), the video has tallied over 750, 000 views since its launch late last week. It’s pretty damn amusing we say, so we’re not surprised. Eli Manning’s acting chops be damned, here’s hoping for more installments of this silly crime-fighting saga. For those of you really into this, there’s a site to download wallpapers, ringtones, etc., but we even have our limits. Credits after the jump.

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New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.