No, it’s not the ass-whooping you’re thinking of that he received back in the day. We can’t really expound, though, except to say the timing is perfect with this latest EA Sports spot from San Francisco-based Heat for the former’s Tiger Woods PGA Tour 14 installment. Woods, if you didn’t know, won his eighth Arnold Palmer Invitational title yesterday in his home turf of Orlando and reclaimed his throne as the top-ranked golfer in the world in the process. Not sure if he’s doing his own stunts or that his sports star acting skills are on par with his good pal, Roger Federer, but we’re sure those are Arnie’s knuckles cracking. Credits after the jump.

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New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Ah, a Super Bowl breather and the Foot Locker/NBA-focused funny continues in this new spot from BBDO New York, which focuses on mohawk/fierce beard-sporting James Harden, the ex-Oklahoma City Thunder sixth-man-turned-Houston Rockets starter. See kids, this is what happens when you don’t have the flow to flaunt fresh kicks on a consistent basis: You hang out with Kim Kardashian’s ex. Ugh, we can smell the Drakkar Noir from here. Credits after the jump.

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New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

It seems the “Human Network” is no more in a new campaign for Cisco from GS&P. In fact, Cisco is moving on to a new tagline, “Tomorrow Starts Here,” which is in line with 2012′s consumers who find technology and the promise of sentient robots beings much more valuable than humanity. In other words, Skynet is now your sole provider of network solutions, and Cisco is their new sub-brand.

The above TV spot, which is part of an integrated campaign titled “The Internet of Everything” (see what I mean?), travels around the world in its effort to mix pictures of frightened looking people with visual representations of sweet, flawless data. The soft narration along with the quick-changing cuts have an air of IBM marketing to them, minus IBM’s trademark blue bars. In fact, “Tomorrow Starts Here” and IBM’s “Smarter Planet” have a bit of the same tone, at least in contrast to their old taglines (“Human Network” and “Power to the People” respectively).

Cisco’s new campaign, as you might imagine, also features a Twitter hashtag campaign using #IoE, which some may confuse with Internet Explorer (a product of Microsoft, another subsidiary of Skynet). Either way, as long as we’re all on “Team Internet,” we should be totally cool with our new robot overloads brutally murder everyone else. And, as long as we’re on the topic, good thing that social media will soon be entirely comprised solely of robots talking back and forth to each other. In the meantime, enjoy an augmented reality print ad for Cisco and few credits after the jump.

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New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Fresh off of winning Olympic gold, Oklahoma City Thunder teammates Russell Westbrook and James Harden are among a few Team USA basketball athletes to star in a new round of spots from BBDO New York for Foot Locker. ESPN’s Darren Rovell is already raving that “Tear Away” (above) could be the “commercial of the year,” though we’ll stop short of that for now. Still, considering Team USA’s success in London and the fairly entertaining ideas put forth here, we can consider this a win-win for BBDO, which picked up creative duties for Foot Locker last fall. While “Tear Away” has Rovell gushing, we were just as amused by “The Melo’s” (below) starring Harden and Westbrook’s Olympics teammate Carmelo Anthony, who perhaps is taking a knock at his own inflated ego. Credits and one more spot starring, Westbrook, Kevin Love and the Miami Heat’s Chris Bosh after the jump.

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New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

It looks like Kobe Bryant‘s getting the all-star treatment when it comes to hyping his Nike Zoom Kobe VI shoe. Now that R/GA’s supplied the Twitter-based component for the Black Mamba campaign, W+K is rolling out teasers for a “Black Mamba” film, directed by Robert Rodriguez (who also plays sound designer here),  that’s set to debut in the U.S. and China during NBA All-Star weekend in February.

The Rodriguez imprint is all over the teasers, which seem inspired by the filmmaker’s recent flick, Machete, what with the overdramatic VO, action, explosions and fonts.  Hell, they even star Machete himself, Danny Trejo, along with Bruce Willis and Kanye West for some reason. While we draw comparisons to Dwyane Wade’s nightmarish Nike spot from early last year, check out the initial Mamba trailer, credits and rather awesome promo poster after the jump.

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New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.