With the 2012 presidential election now in the books, where do we turn to bring the country together, to unite us as people, to separate wheat from chaff and tell us “how to protect our assets?” Well, until we find that special someone, for now, we’ll have to make due with some sage post-election thoughts from Jordan Zimmerman, namesake of Omnicom-owned, Fort Lauderdale-based agency, Zimmerman.

The self-proclaimed “alpha dog” and “huge success” posted yet another clip on his blog, “You Sleep When You Die,” following the election results and after viewing it above, we can’t figure out if he’s some scary Donald Trump/Donny Deutsch hybrid, a male Suze Orman, an Obama voter or all of the above. All we can tell now is that thanks to the president’s reelection, he will be “parking some of his assets” in Switzerland. You 99 percenters out there should follow suit.

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