Damn. It is my odd duty to report to you that a New York based digitalish agency of elevated status recently fired a man for, yes, masturbating in the office. But where, you wonder, was said employee found indulging in this most basic of indulgences? At his desk, of course!

The man, who shall for obvious reasons remain unnamed, apparently had his favorite Web sites bookmarked and was known to come into work a bit early. He was...working hard, we're told. And on one fateful morn, a coworker walked in on the man as he did his deed. According to our source, he was gone within a day of getting busted. No word as to whether he used lotion.

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