The reality is I'll take whatever job I get. The market's too tight and too competitive to fantasize about my ideal position. But a girl can dream ... So the question that I've been asking myself recently is, when I grow up, do I want to be an editor or a writer?

I worked as editor for almost five years. The best part of the job was seeing a story develop from beginning to end. It started with an idea (usually one I got in the shower) and ended with a polished layout. In the middle, there would be a slew of emails with the writer, stacks of drafts covered with red ink, and arguments with the art director about photos and design. But eventually, I'd sit at my desk with a glossy, color proof and feel triumphant.

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I didn't think I had to choose a side in this debate until a recent session with magazine-writing guru Stephen Fried who said, "Don't get an editing job if you want to write." And sure enough, this prompted a navel-gazing examination about what I want.

So who am I? For one, I'm a picky jerk who flinches at friends' improper usage, but that's a meager qualification. J-school seems to be geared at training reporters, but how does one train to be an editor? I still have a long way before I can spout off about restrictive and non-restrictive clauses, so a few weeks of diagramming sentences certainly couldn't hurt, but what else?

I also have to admit that my view is colored by a few recent experiences: a lovely couple of weeks copy editing a daily newspaper (such fun!) and a slew of rejection letters from internships that require past internship experience to qualify.

Because the job search looms, I'm drowning in a sea of anxiety about how to convince employers to hire me. The irony of trying to get hired as an editor is that you still need to have stellar clips even if the position requires little to no writing. But by design, as an editor of five years, I don't have that many clips. Shouldn't I be required to submit before and after versions of an article to show my attention to detail and care to preserve the writer's voice while subtly shaping the piece into a stronger whole? At school, my favorite moments come when helping friends rework a lede or get around a reporting hurdle but I can't put that on my resume.

Earlier this year, I met with our career services dean and told him that maybe I was kinda, sorta, thinking about editing. He seemed encouraging: So many grads are looking for writing jobs, so I might have better luck. But all good editors, the legendary ones, earned their chops by working as reporters. After all, what good is your advice if you've never tried it out yourself?

In a few weeks, I'll blow out my birthday candles and wish for a job, any job. Ideally, it'll offer a reasonable salary so I can pay my student loans, a decent dental plan (I think I have a cavity!), and a mix of interesting and challenging work that doesn't make me choose between editing and writing.

A girl can dream, right?

Katia Bachko is a writer and editor in New York City. You can reach her at www.katiabachko.com

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