| Back to Home > Bulletin Board > Media Issues > Topic: Simpsons Media Quotes Thread *NERDS ONLY* |
Topic: Simpsons Media Quotes Thread *NERDS ONLY*
  Page 1 of 2   |
|
| Author | Message |
| barriticus | Posted – 6/8/2005 6:10:14 PM | show profile | email poster Who's up for some procrastination? (Some of these are going to be paraphrased from memory, but I've got a good memory) *** Kent Brockman, Springfield Anchorman, is at home trying to figure out what he's going to lead with tomorrow evening. His young daughter comes in with the new Lisa Lionheart feminist doll. Daughter: You should talk about the dolly. Kent Brockman: Heh, heh. Sweetheart, people want real news, like ''Swimsuits - How Bare is Too Bare?'' Daughter: That is BORING! Talk about the dolly! Kent Brockman: Hmmm. Well, you were right about the Berlin Wall... |
| newsgirl508 | Posted – 6/8/2005 6:39:45 PM | show profile Worst---Simpsons---exchange----ever ;-) |
| barriticus | Posted – 6/9/2005 5:02:04 AM | show profile | email poster Well played. |
| barriticus | Posted – 6/9/2005 5:06:58 AM | show profile | email poster After Sideshow Bob acquires a nuclear weapon and demands that the mayor shut down every TV station in town, Kent Brockman does a final farewell. Kent Brockman: As we end our final broadcast, I'm reminded of some of the stories that brought us closer to you. The collapse of the Soviet Union. Premium cola wars. Dogs that were mistakenly issued major credit cards... and others that weren't so lucky. |
| porfavor | Posted – 6/9/2005 9:52:28 AM | show profile Brockman, after ''interviewing'' Homer (I think): ''That's right: Woo.'' |
| JimmyG | Posted – 6/9/2005 10:21:44 AM | show profile Still, my favorite Simpsons quote comes from Homer: ''Here's to alcohol--the cause of, and solution to, all the world's problems.'' |
| barriticus | Posted – 6/9/2005 11:04:04 AM | show profile | email poster After the town is threatened by a notorious thief, Homer sets up a vigilante group to protect the town, which, of course, ends up devolving into a gang. He appears on Kent Brockman's show to defend himself. Kent Brockman: Mr. Simpson, it's true that petty theft is down by 12 percent, but heavy sack beatings are up 3000 percent. Any response? Homer: Oh, Kent. I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes. Kent Brockman: ... well, touche. |
| canasta | Posted – 6/9/2005 11:06:55 AM | show profile ''Things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch.'' |
| Nashvillerer | Posted – 6/9/2005 11:25:28 AM | show profile I like the one where Lisa lies to get on local TV and instead of discussing Proposition 305 starts speaking about her passions, and the guy in the booth asks the producer if he should turn off her mic. Producer: No... Let her speak. (Pause) I'm trying to get fired. |
| barriticus | Posted – 6/9/2005 11:51:34 AM | show profile Heh heh. Forgot about that one. |
| anonymouse | Posted – 6/9/2005 12:20:36 PM | show profile simpsons there's a flashback episode where you see a young, voice-cracking Kent Brockman giving a report, signing off as Kenny Brockelstein. And an episode where Lisa shows off her picture of Lewis Lapham on the cover of her school notebook. |
| Nashvillerer | Posted – 6/9/2005 12:59:43 PM | show profile I also like the one where Krusty is signing copies of his new autobiography and Bart asks him how he had the time to write it (or something) and Krusty explains that he had a ghostwriter, who is sitting in the background. Krusty: What was your name again? Ghostwriter: John. Updike. Krusty: Whoa, I didn't ask for you life story! Particularly hilarious if you recognize that it is Updike's real voice... |
| JenX | Posted – 6/9/2005 1:05:20 PM | show profile Marge flips to the cover of her fave monthly magazine, with her trademark ''Hmmm.'' Mag's title: Better Homes Than Yours |
| barriticus | Posted – 6/9/2005 1:07:27 PM | show profile | email poster Ooh, even funnier literary reference (from the same episode, I think): The Simpsons are still at the book fair, where Amy Tan, Tom Clancy, and Maya Angelou (sic?) are answering questions from the audience. Lisa: Ms. Tan, I really enjoyed how ''The Joy Luck Club'' dealt with the mother-daughter bond triumphing over adversity. Tan: That's not what I was going for at all! You couldn't have gotten it more wrong. Sit down. I'm embarrassed for both of us. Lisa looks distraught; Homer, who is sitting next to her, shifts around and looks the other way, pretending he doesn't know her. |
| barriticus | Posted – 6/9/2005 1:11:10 PM | show profile | email poster Oh, and from the same question-and-answer scene with the three writers: Lenny: Hi, I'm a techo-thriller junkie, and I was wondering about the B-2 Stealth Bomber's cloaking capabilities. Tom Clancy: Well, the thing about the B-2 Bomber... Lenny: No, I was asking Maya Angelou! Maya Angelou: (standing up and thrusting her arms into the air) The Ebony Fighter yearns to strike unseen, yet collapses from malnourishment at the shriveled breast of Congress. Lenny: Wow! You really are a national treasure! |
| ocsummer | Posted – 6/9/2005 1:22:19 PM | show profile my all-time fave: Comic Book Guy is thrown out of Moe's, and is lying face-down on the street. CBG: Is there a Klingon word for loneliness? He pulls a book out of his pocket, checks, then reaches one hand in anguish towards the sky. CBG: ''Garrrr-nock!'' |
| barriticus | Posted – 6/9/2005 1:45:20 PM | show profile | email poster Better Comic Book Guy quote: Comic Book Guy: Please do not bang on that counter! It contains a very rare edition of Mary Worth in which she advises a friend to commit suicide. |
| DCbookEd | Posted – 6/9/2005 2:24:48 PM | show profile Another good media scene: Homer's running the daycare and receives an award. Out of jealousy Bart and Lisa show clips of him being a horrible dad, so then the parents all want their kids back into their own custody. Homer runs and puts all the kids in a van and quickly drives away. Arnie Pie in the Sky follows the van in the helicopter while it's broadcast on tv, and Kent does running commentary. Homer crashes the van into a tree and staggers out the door. Kent: But what about the children, Arnie, how are the children?! Arnie: I can't see through metal, Ken! Not to mention that Homer then runs back and forth frantically along the fence, stopping to scratch like a dog at the fence bottom to get away, and the whole thing's being broadcast on tv... |
| uneedabob | Posted – 6/9/2005 2:30:42 PM | show profile surprised no one remembered this one: the episode where Bart stages an insurrection at Kamp Krusty. Kent Brockman, on the scene: ''Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, and I can tell you that this is literally a million times worse.'' |
| barriticus | Posted – 6/9/2005 2:32:32 PM | show profile | email poster Ha! Another good Arnie Pie/Brockman battle: Kent Brockman: Arnie, how are the townspeople taking the bad news? Arnie Pie: How am I supposed to know that? Do I have magical powers that would allow me to see men's souls? Well, yours would be black, Kent! BLACK AS THE ACE OF SPADES!!! Kent Brockman: Arnie, this is not the time for- Arnie Pie: YOU'RE NOT THE TIME, KENT! YOU'RE NOT THE TIME! (''technical difficulties'' card comes up) |
| DCbookEd | Posted – 6/9/2005 2:33:19 PM | show profile the best political quotes Homer: America, take a good look at your beloved candidates. They're nothing but hideous space reptiles. [unmasks them] [audience gasps in terror] Kodos: It's true, we are aliens. But what are you going to do about it? It's a two-party system; you have to vote for one of us. [crowd murmurs] Man1: He's right, this is a two-party system. Man2: Well, I believe I'll vote for a third-party candidate! Kang: Go ahead, throw your vote away! [Kang and Kodos laugh out loud] ***** Kent: Senator Dole, why should people vote for you instead of President Clinton? Kang (Dole): It makes no difference which one of us you vote for. Either way, your planet is doomed. DOOMED! Kent: Well, a refreshingly frank response there from senator Bob Dole. ***** Kang: Abortions for all... Crowd: Boooooooooo! Kang: Very well, no abortions for any one. Crowd: Boooooooooo! Kang: Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others. Crowd (waving little flags wildly): Yayyyyyyyyy! |
| barriticus | Posted – 6/9/2005 2:33:39 PM | show profile | email poster ''surprised no one remembered this one: the episode where Bart stages an insurrection at Kamp Krusty. Kent Brockman, on the scene: ''Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, and I can tell you that this is literally a million times worse.'' That's one of the ones they almost never show in my market for some stupid reason. |
| barriticus | Posted – 6/9/2005 2:36:07 PM | show profile | email poster You forgot one from a speech by Dole/Kang: ''We must go forwards, not backwards! Sideways, not clockwise! And always twirling, twirling, TWIRLING TOWARDS FREEDOM!'' (twirls around rapidly to wild applause from the audience) |
| DCbookEd | Posted – 6/9/2005 2:36:50 PM | show profile barriticus, I hear you about the limited showings---I'm always on the lookout for them to air the Guatemalan insanity pepper episode---there's a rare one. |
| DCbookEd | Posted – 6/9/2005 2:40:22 PM | show profile and since we're all dorks here, apparently, I'd like to point out that sometimes, when having had to deal with dummies on the job, I mutter to myself, ''it's like he has a blue crayon up his nose or something!'' LOL. [and powder blue, at that] |
| Page 1 of 2 |
|
