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Topic: quitting?
| Author | Message |
| argh | Posted – 2/9/2006 2:01:03 AM | show profile I've been at my job as an EA in book publishing a little over a year and the situation with my boss has gradually grown worse and worse, to the point where I find it pretty much unbearable. I have pretty much given up on book publishing as a business (long list of reasons -- suffice to say it's a business with a lot of problems and I just don't feel like my heart is in it anymore). My boss is insane: supportive in some ways -- has told me I'm the best assistant he's had, promised to promote me soon, but also never does his work, then gets angry at me over arbitrary things. Also makes me get him lunch, coffee, etc. I don't know anybody else who makes their assistant do that, but I feel like I am in an awkward situation to say no when I'm his assistant. Sadly, I think he thinks he's a great boss... |
| argh | Posted – 2/9/2006 2:01:29 AM | show profile pt. 2 Anyway, I've been interviewing for non-profits and I hope to leave soon, but I'm terrified of what will happen. My boss is a TOTAL trainwreck who can't do anything on his own. Things have lately gotten insanely busy around the office and I can only imagine that he wilL FLIP OUT when I quit. While I'm sure he'd demand a temp come in while he finds a replacement, it's like the end of the world when I take off one day... This will NOT go well. Is it morally/ethically/somehow wrong to quit a job during the height of a busy time? Is my guilt just a form of fear that I should get over? Has anyone ever walked out on a job when they were most needed because it made them miserable? Has anyone ever had someoe flip out when they quit? What happened? |
| overthehillwriter | Posted – 2/9/2006 2:25:15 AM | show profile I've had a boss bear a deep grudge that I chose to leave his employ, as if I were leaving him personally. Suggest that you not take this personally, nor assume responsibility for the sickness/disorder around you. Clearly, you boss gets something out of living his working life like that (at some level) or he wouldn't do it. Guessing he thinks that because he has a genial demeanor much of the time and praises you highly, that makes him a good boss. He doesn't get that while a lack of order or managerial skill makes him disorganized, it has a far worse effect on you. Give adequate notice and do all you can to ensure a smooth transition. Remain positive, wish them the best and then get on with the best for you. Good luck! |
| Marie | Posted – 2/9/2006 2:25:54 AM | show profile Quit if you want. Why are you making his problems and the department's problems your problems? It's your life. Or say you'll stay under XYZ conditions (no buying lunch, no personal errands, etc.). It sounds as if he's the kind of person who will soon be borrowing money from you. If you get another job that will make you happier, quit. Give two weeks' notice (you're not required to but it's nice to give notice) nd be done with it. Or stay and outline new conditions for the job (hey, that might be an even better option; it might be the way to get everything you want). Your boss, the company, the department will be just fine. It's your life, not theirs. They'll probabaly even give you a cake when you go. |
| bmore_beat | Posted – 2/9/2006 11:33:17 AM | show profile Same position I am considering leaving my job in the non-profit sector. My boss is great, but as the assistant director (and essentially the middleman in a 3-person staff), I feel very guilty about leaving when it seems there are so many ''unfinished'' projects. I don't believe they would be able to fully train a new person without me, and it would take me weeks. This is not to even mention the ''family'' atmosphere that such a small staff will create -- I know my boss will be personally hurt by my resignation. I know that I have to do what is right for myself (and so do you), even if it means leaving these people ''high and dry.'' But it makes it no easier to think of things that way. |
| NYer | Posted – 2/9/2006 4:08:52 PM | show profile just quit... I was once in a similar situation. An old boss with a similar m.o. right down to fetching her coffee (though I was happy to have an excuse to escape her for 15 mins that it didn't bother me. Sometimes full of praise, other times out of control (as well as tanked--oy that sucked). It did throw her for a loop when I quit, but life (and work) goes on. It really all is just work in the end, imo, we like to think we're essential and our workplace would grind to a halt without us but I think that's rarely the case. (Shortly after I quit, she got fired, but that was going to happen regardless of whether I left.) BTW: I think abusive people (bosses, partners, whatever) are often nice and full of praise at moments, it's part of the pattern. If they were assholes all the time, you'd just walk away. He's made you feel like he needs you, and you've bought into it on some level, no? Least it appears that there's at least some reluctance on your part to leave while on another level you realize that's the right thing to do. |
| MeliNYC | Posted – 2/10/2006 8:13:06 AM | show profile There's never a ''good time'' to quit. Expect your supervisor to tell you that it's a bad time, but look around: is today really so different from last week--or next? You may, as was suggested, try sitting down and speaking to your boss directly--outline your top issues (promotion, menial duties) and see if he is willing to do somethign about it. In a sense, this type of conversation serves as notice to anyone paying attention that you're likely to leave if your issues aren't addressed. And you are likely to feel that you gave the situation every change to succeed. In the meantime, if you are offered a job and chose to accept it, be sure you're not walking into the same situation, different location. Have a polite but plain conversation with the hiring manager. If your current supervisor is unresponsive (or, becomes more out of control), move forward on your job search; give two weeks notice when you quit, and always leave with a smile on your face--this is what they're most likely to remember about you after the drama dies down. Ask--you might just get what you seek. |
| princess | Posted – 2/10/2006 8:14:24 AM | show profile | email poster I've been where you are. In fact, I'm wondering if you are at the same book publisher w/the same man who nearly drove me insane a few years ago here in NYC. My boss really wanted an 'office wife'. Someone to get his lunch, remind him to eat, balance his checkbook, write checks for the cable bill, the drycleaning, etc. Then I'd have to remind him more than once to sign the checks! The final straw was coordinating his family's x-mas vacation in St. Barts. His adult children had me booking their flights, car services, etc. What pushed me over the edge was that I gave him the confirmation letter for his villa (yes, really!) and he never signed it to send back to the rental agent. He blamed me for their losing out on the villa and I quit right on the spot. It was a busy time then too - he was off to the Frankfurt book fair. I agreed to stay on for the 3 wks he was gone and left after he got back. You have to do what's right for you. Life's too short to waste it and yourself in an unbearable situation. I'm not saying it's easy - I quit without a job to go to. But I hustled during those 3 wks. and landed 2 freelance jobs as a magazine factchecker/researcher and asst. editor on an SIP issue. Luck was still on my side as I landed my current job while freelancing. Go with your heart. It's tough, but better in the long run! Good luck. |
| argh | Posted – 2/11/2006 9:10:49 AM | show profile Thanks everyone -- I think I already know what I have to do: quit. I think we've passed the point of negotiations. I know whatever ''fix'' we came up with wouldn't last. I also have a feeling that he'll bring up how I never let on how unhappy I was, and maybe I really ought to have tried to communicate this more... but now it feels like it would be too little too late. The only reason I can think of that would make it a good move for me to stay would be if I was still interested in book publishing. Because I do think I'll get promoted here faster than I would if I moved to another house, and I would get a lot of ''hands on'' experience, since Crackhead needs a lot of help. But I don't want to be promoted. I don't want to spend the next 10 years making crap and sucking up to the right agents just so they can let me take them to lunch and send me crap proposals. So why should I stay at a job that barely pays me enough to pay my bills, completetly stresses me out and won't even let me take a lunch break? I had an interview yesterday at a non profit with people who seemed so genuinely thrilled about their jobs. Their eyes seriously LIT UP when I asked about the supervisor. I am now really, really hopeful that I'll get it, but we'll see... |
| Marie | Posted – 2/11/2006 9:59:23 AM | show profile I hope you get it too, and it probably is an improvement. But don't think just because it's nonprofit that it's necessarily a more supportive, nurturing, less-competitive, more sane environment. Like academia, nonprofits can be worse than your worst corporate nightmare (I'm not saying this is the case with your organization, but don't fall into that, oh, it's nonprofit, so I won't have to deal with all the BS that goes on in a corporation) and the people will be sane and nurturing and kind and I'll be bettering mankind. Often, when there's fewer spoils to fight over, the politics and atmosphere are worse. So research this organization (I don't mean to tamp your enthusiasm; I'm just saying you shouldn't fall into simple assumptions that it will be better). Talk to people who work in the nonprofit world. Start reading the Chronicle of Philanthropy (some of it's free on the Web, and I think you can get a free trial subsciption). Good luck. |
| argh | Posted – 2/11/2006 1:21:41 PM | show profile Thanks, Marie! I've interned at non-profits in the past and had a somewhat disheartening experience with a poorly run organization, so I'm trying to be wary. But I am excited about this job since everyone just seemed so genuinely happy to work there. |
| Marie | Posted – 2/11/2006 2:00:14 PM | show profile It's probably good, and I really didn't mean to make you less enthusiastic. And if its work is in an area you're interested in, all the better. It certainly could be a whole new career path. |
