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Topic: Dining with Client Etiquette
| Author | Message |
| Lotus665 | Posted – 3/24/2006 11:02:17 AM | show profile Hi. I'm supposed to have lunch or dinner with an important book client of mine in a week or two -- person is a bigwig. Who picks up the check? Usually when I eat with an editor we go dutch, though not always -- I rarely have meal meetings so I want to make sure I don't make a faux pas. Who pays? |
| Lotus665 | Posted – 3/24/2006 11:03:15 AM | show profile By the way, client isn't an editor but an author -- I'm a ghost collaborator on their upcoming book. ------ Lotus665 |
| nandy | Posted – 3/24/2006 12:00:54 PM | show profile If this is someone who usually pays you to do work for them, I would say pick up the check as reciprocation for the work they've given you. Just be sure you go to the nicest place where you can afford to do this. I have a wealthy, important friend who says she gets very tired being expected to pay for everyone's meals just because she has a higher profile than they do. She wouldn't mind going to a nice-but-not-expensive place and go dutch or even be treated every once in a while. |
| anonamice | Posted – 3/24/2006 1:23:50 PM | show profile pay I think if you pay, it subtly means you have the power... |
| anonamice | Posted – 3/24/2006 1:23:52 PM | show profile pay I think if you pay, it subtly means you have the power... |
| anonamice | Posted – 3/24/2006 1:23:54 PM | show profile pay I think if you pay, it subtly means you have the power... |
| Lotus665 | Posted – 3/24/2006 2:56:44 PM | show profile I'm fine with Dutch, but considering how much better off than me this person is I'd feel a bit weird about springing for the whole bill, particularly if she suggests someplace swanky (I feel I should defer to her taste since she suggested the meal). Hmmmm. |
| brainfry | Posted – 3/24/2006 3:05:15 PM | show profile Offer to split... I have ghostwritten before with high profile personalities and pretty much all of them have picked up the check. But be sure that you offer to split the check as a gesture. They will appreciate your thoughtfulness, but will most likely not take you up on the offer. |
| westsidestory | Posted – 3/24/2006 4:32:37 PM | show profile You, the vendor, will be expected to pick up the check for your client. To keep the costs down, pick the place and make it lunch -- usually less expensive. Don't do dinner if you can't help it. Don't be surprised if your client makes a grab -- or even a feint -- on the check when it arrives. A classy way to handle this: When you go to the restaurant (make sure it's 15-20 minutes before your guest, find the maitre d or host and explain that you will be hosting the meal. Give them your credit card in advance to do this. Then, when your meeting ends, you can say, ''it's taken care of.'' You'll look polished and, like the other poster said, exude confidence and power -- something you need when you're lunching with a bigwig. |
| brainfry | Posted – 3/24/2006 5:48:15 PM | show profile Wrong... Actually, you are both vendors. The person you are ghostwriting for is not your client. You are collaborating on a project, in which case the more affluent person usually pays. But again, if you feel uncomfortable, offer to split. In book publishing, there are no clear vendor/client rules. My editor usually takes me out to lunch or drinks even though in magazines that may or may not be the case. My agent would have killed me if I offered to pay for any of the people I was ghostwriting for. |
| westsidestory | Posted – 3/24/2006 5:55:24 PM | show profile having ghostwritten a lot for CEOs, I have found they are often surprised and delighted to be taken out to lunch now and then. |
| activeverb | Posted – 3/24/2006 6:05:30 PM | show profile Hey, if you do pay, remember it's deductible. In fact every expense for this -- parking, etc. is deductible. |
| Lotus665 | Posted – 3/26/2006 10:48:41 AM | show profile Well, one thing is clear: there is no clear cut answer here, which is kind of a relief as if it were well known and i didn't know it, i'd look pretty foolish. i think i'm going to err on the side of splitting the check (and I'm definitely going to deduct all my travel and other expenses from my taxes, believe me!). BTW something is up with my shift key so the 'i''s don't seem to cap... |
| maphop | Posted – 3/26/2006 8:49:20 PM | show profile I Say Pay... This is a tough one but I have to say I'm with Westside and anonymice (sp?) on this one. There were a lot of times in the very beginning of my writing career where I couldn't (in theory) afford to split a check,much less pick up the whole thing but somehow I always managed to. Now, having said that, it was when I was taking an editor or prospective editor or maybe even a source to lunch. Bottom line: it ALWAYS paid off. Your ghostwriting gig is slightly different but the question is do you want more work from him or her and/or a reference? Picking up the tab - discretely, gracefully but fully - is a power play. I typically slip the maitre d my card either before the meal or during a ''restroom'' trip and have the slip simply brought back to my table with my card. One way to risk exposure is to choose the restaurant carefully, easier done in, say, LA than NY but still possible. Make the invite fun and light - nachos and a cold cerveza to celebrate the completion of your project? Can't imagine that going much beyond $25-$30 for lunch unless the cervezas just keep coming... |
| even_newer-id | Posted – 3/26/2006 10:05:35 PM | show profile Geez, I don't get this conversation at all. If it's business, the person with more power (and the higher salary) pays -- unless it's a personal thank you. As an editor I have an expense account and would never ever consider that a writer should take me out to lunch. Likewise when the publishermeets with me over lunch, he pays for me. If I want to buy him a martini on my own dime, fine and dandy, but that would be because I wanted to do something nice personally -- nothing to do with business. |
| brainfry | Posted – 3/27/2006 9:20:44 AM | show profile agreed... in fact, i think it makes you look naive and inexperienced to pay for someone out of turn... they may be delighted, but they will probably think you're off your rocker, especially since most of these CEOs and editors do have expense accounts to cover them. just my 2 cents. |
| even_newer-id | Posted – 3/27/2006 11:32:40 AM | show profile Not to mention that inviting someone for a business lumch and then expecting them to eat nachos is not a good idea. What if they're on a low-carb diet? And I mean this seriously. A business lunch should be work so at least the food should be decent and preferably healthful. |
