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Topic: How Do You Cope With the Fear of Networking?
| Author | Message |
| AdGyrl | Posted – 3/31/2006 10:15:53 AM | show profile If there is anyone out there like me (and I know there is) who is terrified when it comes to meeting new people, please tell me how you deal with it. Everyone always talks about how networking is such a valuable tool in business and in promoting oneself, and I totally agree- the problem is that it just makes me nervous. Lately I have been going to different meetings and associations for the purposes of networking and it all just seems so unnatural. Don't get me wrong-I am genuinely interested in meeting new people, and not just for the sole purpose of advancing my career. But it just feels so fake and forced, and sometimes it just overwhelms me to the point of clammy hands, upset stomach, etc. For those of you who aren't social butterflies by nature-how do you cope with this? |
| mkelly | Posted – 3/31/2006 11:17:05 AM | show profile A Dewar's & soda at the start of the event usually works for me. Ideally with someone else equally uncomfortable and heavy-drinking. |
| Upward Bound | Posted – 3/31/2006 11:31:56 AM | show profile ditto. I don't find it intimidating so much as fake and too egotistical. I guess I don't like to walk up to someone and start talking to myself, so it helps if there's some entertainment or some other distraction that can be used to start a conversation. An empty room with drinks and a nametag is a tough situation. Maybe you can start out by choosing your events wisely until you feel more confident. And yes, liquid courage can help. Just don't over do it!! Nothing worse than getting drunk when you're trying to impress people. ------ Never settle! |
| Upward Bound | Posted – 3/31/2006 11:32:47 AM | show profile Sorry, that was supposed to be ''talking ABOUT myself'' not ''to myself''.... ------ Never settle! |
| recovering_jersey_girl | Posted – 3/31/2006 11:35:36 AM | show profile | email poster Hi AdGyrl, I feel ya. I wanted to find some solutions to this myself, so I pitched a story on it and picked the brain of a career/networking guru to find out (sometimes this job is so handy <g>) He had some interesting ideas. I've enabled my e-mail so if you like, I can shoot you a note w/ the text of the article (it's pretty short). |
| Typeatrix | Posted – 3/31/2006 12:47:57 PM | show profile I am shy too, but I pretend I'm not. I am very shy too, and usually terrified of talking to people, but I have discovered everyone feels this way. Someone has to break the ice, so why not me? So... I pretend I'm not shy, walk up, extend my hand, and go from there. Works like a charm. And the more I do it, the less shy I become. |
| kramdenyards | Posted – 3/31/2006 1:23:38 PM | show profile I'm with you, AdGyrl. What's more depressing than a ''networking event?'' Nothing. I found myself dreading them so I quit going. Very liberating. |
| writer | Posted – 3/31/2006 3:25:20 PM | show profile I am in the same boat, and it all comes down to the old saying --Fake it to you make it. The networking events I attend always seem so disingenuos. People seem to be in a competition to see how may contacts they have or how many cards they can get. This is as opposed to actually talking to someone and not being fake. I love meeting people, but sometimes I don't know what to say. So I just start with a compliment, which is a natural, progressive way to start. |
| lightcatcher | Posted – 3/31/2006 5:11:59 PM | show profile | email poster I got it too So why don't we all meet up somewhere? At least we have something in common from the get go and can smile about it. |
| clairezulkey | Posted – 3/31/2006 5:18:07 PM | show profile | email poster I feel you Adgirl. I'm trying to do a post on it for the blog. I think a fair question to ask, if you know the person is a freelancer, is to say ''Who do you write for?'' I think it opens up to lots of different conversational openings and it's not too awkward. ------ Editor of MBToolBox |
| globetrotter78 | Posted – 3/31/2006 5:53:50 PM | show profile I totally relate. I networked by asking for referrals from people I already knew and landed a job that way. It breaks the ice to say so and so recommended I call you. If you hate networking events, consider networking via email. Look for ice breakers such as ''I saw you featured in the business section today...'' In person though you just have to MAKE yourself...otherwise you put off a bad impression. Good luck! |
| leftcoaster | Posted – 3/31/2006 6:59:36 PM | show profile I stink at face-to-face networking as well. If I force myself to do it, I usually try to break the ice simply by sticking out my hand and introducing myself. There's a Web-based networking service called Linked In (www.linkedin.com). It works on sort of a ''six degrees of separation'' concept. You write a career-based profile of yourself and what you're looking for (job referrals, contract work, etc.) and then invite people you know to join your network. When they accept, you can see the people in their network, including company names and titles. If you're looking for a job, for example, you go through the chain of people you're connected to to get the referral. I don't use it a lot myself, but I know several people who have gotten job leads and/or contracts through it. If you do join and invite people to join that aren't already members, I suggest you rewrite the sample text they provide in the invitation e-mail. The first time I received one, when I had never heard of the service, I thought it was spam and deleted it. Then I talked to the friend who had invited me and discovered it was a real thing. |
