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Topic: Is It Too Late?
| Author | Message |
| ClaraLee* | Posted – 2/5/2007 12:01:45 AM | show profile After two years of working on a magazine, I realize that my boss thinks little of me and that it is unlikely that I can grow with the publication. I think it is a mix of things, some being my fault (e.g. not being assertive enough, not pushing for more). My question is--after two years, is it possible to turn around my boss's perception of me? Or, once you are thought of in a certain way at a workplace, is it impossible to turn around your image? To put it simply--am I entirely screwed at this place, and do I need to find another job where I can start with a clean slate? Has anyone ever dealt with this issue? |
| fake.it.til.you.make.it | Posted – 2/5/2007 12:23:45 AM | show profile Ah, I've been there before in my first publishing job. I was in book publishing when I wanted to be in magazines and didn't appreciate my job enough (wasn't too fond of being someone's assistant). I just knew I wasn't doing that great of a job. Later on I started doing better, made myself more valuable and others noticed. I was trying to get promoted and others were working toward helping me get there, although I ended up getting laid off when they were doing layoffs. I kind of felt like what I did was too much too little too late and only blame myself, really. But I think you can still try to redeem yourself though. Just try to change your attitude and do a better job and see what happens. Maybe start applying to other jobs you might like better so you're not relying on your current job to define your self worth. I don't believe your totally screwed. P.S. Do you really know your boss thinks little of you, or is that your own neuroticism? Sometimes it can be in your head, ya know. ------ http://writerwannabehack.blogspot.com |
| ClaraLee* | Posted – 2/5/2007 2:09:54 AM | show profile Oh, I know that it is the case--I have heard through the grapevine about things that he has said about me to co-workers. I have also been given no opportunity to truly grow--and the thing is, I actually have worked extremely hard for this publication. I have just not advertised it, so to speak. And I am not one to try to make best friends with the boss and play the office politics game. And that is likely what has made me so unsuccessful in my career (this is NOT a first job--I am in my mid 30s and have been in this business for 10 years). I guess what I am afraid of is that I have made a complete shambles of my career and am in a hole that I cannot climb out of. Has anyone else out there ever turned things around at this late stage of the game, or should I just crawl into that hole and not emerge (not to wallow in obnoxious self pity)... |
| mailbag | Posted – 2/5/2007 6:07:24 AM | show profile | email poster Take the positive approach and say 'yes' you can turn him/her around. I would suggest working with the mngr to draw up a plan with goals, milestones, time table. I think you'll have to work twice as hard since he already has a set opinion. Unless you already have a solid new opportunity, stick where you are and make it work. |
| Marie | Posted – 2/5/2007 11:01:15 AM | show profile I actually think it's hard to turn soemthing around. But grab projects that interest you, and take them on. But also look for another job. It's sounds as if you have a few freinds in the company, and use those people for references. You're not screwed at all. |
| Little Fingers | Posted – 2/5/2007 11:51:42 AM | show profile It depends on the atmosphere at your particular pub, but perhaps you could make a plan for yourself to re-engage in your work, and then meet with your boss to discuss it. You shouldn't say that you think he doesn't see how hard you work, or that you know you've screwed up, but spin it positively. "I feel that I've gotten a little off track and I want to re-examine my goals. I'd like to make a game-plan for being a more integral and effective member of this staff. I was wondering if you would sit down to discuss this with me." If you are sincere, and your boss isn't an ass, he should find this admirable and it may make for a more constructive working partnership for you both. Good luck! |
| Little Fingers | Posted – 2/5/2007 11:53:07 AM | show profile It depends on the atmosphere at your particular pub, but perhaps you could make a plan for yourself to re-engage in your work, and then meet with your boss to discuss it. You shouldn't say that you think he doesn't see how hard you work, or that you know you've screwed up, but spin it positively. "I feel that I've gotten a little off track and I want to re-examine my goals. I'd like to make a game-plan for being a more integral and effective member of this staff. I was wondering if you would sit down to discuss this with me." If you are sincere, and your boss isn't an ass, he should find this admirable and it may make for a more constructive working partnership for you both. Good luck! |
| npdsleuth1 | Posted – 2/5/2007 12:33:09 PM | show profile | email poster I agree with Marie that it's tough to turn something like that around, especially after two years. My only thought is this -- would it be feasible to talk to the boss? Not in an accusatory way, but to say something positive such as I'd like to better show you my talents, etc. etc. and ask for direct feedback, etc. |
| ClaraLee* | Posted – 2/5/2007 1:16:44 PM | show profile Thanks for your replies. Yes, I do think that I should sit down with my boss and discuss this, but as you have all pointed out, it can't be done in an accusatory/defensive way. It has to be positive--and since I'm struggling with feeling positive these days, I need to really consider what I am going to say and how I am going to say it. It is amazing how feeling like your job isn't going well can impact your self-esteem, isn't it? |
| Little Fingers | Posted – 2/5/2007 2:35:25 PM | show profile | email poster It is amazing, ClaraLee, but not surprising. After all, we live in a culture that defines us by what we do for a living (it's typically the second question we ask any person we meet, right after asking for a nam!). And, we spend more time at work and thinking about work than we do at anything else--no small wonder that when the job is bad, your life feels awful. I hope you sort it out and get to a better place, and soon! |
| mailbag | Posted – 2/5/2007 8:01:54 PM | show profile | email poster Couple other pointers: http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/jobseeker/tools/ept/careerArticlesPost.html?post=34 |
| ClaraLee* | Posted – 2/6/2007 1:38:46 AM | show profile Thanks for all of your replies. They make sense. I do think it's hard to turn things around in a place where you are no longer feeling good--the best option would probably be to try to move on... |
| writesonwater | Posted – 2/6/2007 5:23:39 AM | show profile | email poster This may sound like goofy advice, but in a marriage, I think sometimes it's best to give it every best effort to fix things before moving on simply because if you don't, your problems may dog your next relationship. I had a friend whose mild manner and lack of assertiveness made it very difficult for her to be on equal footing with her domineering husband. She's getting a divorce, but unless she finds her own place to stand and her own voice, she may end up falling into the same problem in her next relationship. Can you learn the lessons you need to learn and apply them in this job? Even if you don't end up staying, it may benefit you in the next position. |
| ClaraLee* | Posted – 2/7/2007 9:32:32 AM | show profile I understand the marriage analogy...and I do agree that you should leave on the best terms possible if you are going to leave. This isn't about major mistakes make or bridges burned--this is more about realizing that, somehow, you have underperformed, even though you've worked hard...you just haven't made that impressive impression. |
| harlemwriter | Posted – 2/7/2007 12:47:43 PM | show profile I agree with others that it is possible to patch things up with the boss by talking these issues over. But here is a question to ask yourself: do you actually like this job? I don't suggest burning bridges, but perhaps leaving would be a good move, not because you've "screwed up" but because you might find another job that makes you happier. Definitely talk to the boss so that you can leave on a good footing (this can always help you later on) but it sounds like you really need to look out for yourself and find something that will make you feel good. Life is too short to be miserable at a job. I know this from experience. |
| harlemwriter | Posted – 2/7/2007 12:48:14 PM | show profile I agree with others that it is possible to patch things up with the boss by talking these issues over. But here is a question to ask yourself: do you actually like this job? I don't suggest burning bridges, but perhaps leaving would be a good move, not because you've "screwed up" but because you might find another job that makes you happier. Definitely talk to the boss so that you can leave on a good footing (this can always help you later on) but it sounds like you really need to look out for yourself and find something that will make you feel good. Life is too short to be miserable at a job. I know this from experience. |
| harlemwriter | Posted – 2/7/2007 12:51:06 PM | show profile I agree with others that it is possible to patch things up with the boss by talking these issues over. But here is a question to ask yourself: do you actually like this job? I don't suggest burning bridges, but perhaps leaving would be a good move, not because you've "screwed up" but because you might find another job that makes you happier. Definitely talk to the boss so that you can leave on a good footing (this can always help you later on) but it sounds like you really need to look out for yourself and find something that will make you feel good. Life is too short to be miserable at a job. I know this from experience. |
| harlemwriter | Posted – 2/7/2007 12:51:18 PM | show profile I agree with others that it is possible to patch things up with the boss by talking these issues over. But here is a question to ask yourself: do you actually like this job? I don't suggest burning bridges, but perhaps leaving would be a good move, not because you've "screwed up" but because you might find another job that makes you happier. Definitely talk to the boss so that you can leave on a good footing (this can always help you later on) but it sounds like you really need to look out for yourself and find something that will make you feel good. Life is too short to be miserable at a job. I know this from experience. |
| A~ | Posted – 2/7/2007 1:50:10 PM | show profile >> I do think that I should sit down with my boss and discuss this, << Yikes! I wouldn't do that -- and this is not a marriage! If s/he thinks little of you now, just wait for the day after you ask him/her to go into a conference room so you and s/he can work out kinks in your, um, relationship. Either stay gracefully or leave gracefully. I think addressing these issues with your boss puts you at risk of becoming the office drama queen. I f I were in your situation I wouldn't let it bother me. As long as you a.) do your job, and b.) aren't an awful person to work with, then you've done what's expected of you. The only thing that really matters is is your work performance puts you at risk of losing your job. With that said, if the boss doesn't like you, s/he's likely to find a reason to not like your, or even to push you out the door. I'd start looking for another job while you still have this one -- that way there's a good reason for not using your current boss as a reference. |
| clark | Posted – 2/8/2007 9:39:53 AM | show profile A is right I have been there twice in my career and it doesn't get better. Your little talk could end up with an HR rep in them. Look for another job now and utitlize what you've learned. |
| ClaraLee* | Posted – 2/10/2007 1:40:57 PM | show profile As far as a talk goes--how about a chat with the boss in which I say that I'd like to step up and do more in certain areas, be challenged more, etc? Rather than a "state of the relationship," marriage kind of talk.... |
| Marie | Posted – 2/10/2007 5:00:38 PM | show profile I"m also not big on these talks. And the person who suggested an HR rep might show up, and then something goes into your file...is right. You don't want to formalize your boss's low opinion of you by talking about it. I would look for another job, but also pinpoint specific things you'd like to to while you're still there, and present them to your boss or another appropriate supervisor (who might inform your boss that you'd like to take these things on). You don't want to have some BS talk about goals and all that crap. Just very concretely pinpoint what you'd like to do, and tell your boss. If the boss says no, simply step up your job search and continue to do your job as competently as you can. Use other people as references when you need them. |
| MCM | Posted – 2/20/2007 12:30:59 AM | show profile The best thing to do is either move on or wait until your boss gets fired. |
| writesonwater | Posted – 2/20/2007 1:20:17 AM | show profile | email poster When I suggested a comparison to marriage, I didn't mean counseling!! ;) Maybe I should have said a soup -- that, having thrown ingredients in, you can at least try to salvage them. Throw a potatoe in to suck up the extra salt, for example. But don't feel some holy commitment to it. Two years is a respectable time to stay at a job these days; if it's not a good fit and you can find something else, leave on the best terms you can and walk away towards a clean slate with head held high -- all the while feeling grateful that you don't have to get a costly divorce!!!! Sometimes, for whatever reason, bosses can get fixated on some thing they don't like. An acquaintance had 2 good years at a magazine and then, for whatever, her boss turned, berating her editing skills to her face and syphoning off her responsibilities. Clearly, it was time to go. She went on to bigger and better things with a national trade pub. |
| Iwillwriteforfood | Posted – 2/23/2007 3:09:05 PM | show profile So what did you decide to do? |
