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Topic: Is NYC a lousy swing/lifestyle community?
| Author | Message |
| kylesec | Posted – 2/27/2007 2:14:07 PM | show profile | email poster I've been involved with cuckold and swing scenes for a short while, really just with a couple from South Jersey. It's all willing by all parties and the guy whose wife I was "intimate" with was actually an average joe who wanted to watch and they just wanted to make their relationship more interesting for a couple of months. I could've moved on to another couple they knew from Philly, but I didn't find the wife attractive and decided to move on my own. I thought it would be even easier to get a similar scenario close to home, in New York given the fact that we're supposed to be such a liberal hotbed of loose sexual mores, yet it's almost impossible for a single guy to worm his way in. The New York scene seems so hidden and underground, compared to other parts of the country-- Florida especially seems really open. Just curious, are there any other people who indulge in a different lifestyle and notice it's somewhat difficult to find what you're looking for in New York? |
| Nikongirl | Posted – 2/27/2007 5:40:34 PM | show profile Kyle. Unfortunatley, you are wayyy off base here, this is a board for journalists. You need to go to Swingers.com or some such place. Not to say that journo's can't/don't/won't 'swing'. GO.....Kyle.....GO. It's like the 60's all over again. ;-) |
| Nikongirl | Posted – 2/27/2007 5:48:12 PM | show profile p.s. When I first read the title of your post, I thought you were talking about swing DANCING!!!! I'm such a knob sometimes...I'm old and getting more naive by the minute. |
| UGoGirl | Posted – 2/27/2007 7:00:08 PM | show profile I like hearing about people who do these kind of things. It's so far removed from my own life. I try to put myself in their place and think, could I go there? Anyway, just stay safe. |
| kylesec | Posted – 2/27/2007 7:13:36 PM | show profile | email poster well journos have sex, too. all kinds of crazy kinky sex. some even have columns devoted to it! I have unconventional sex and I'm a writer. have been a writer for most of my working career. writers editors and media types also often do sex stories and find themselves with contacts or come away with a better knowledge of a certain "scene." I did one on the transsexual scene and after several months of research, if you were looking to have sex with a tranny, I know where to send you. The transgendered have a strong vibrant community in NYC with bars and clubs devoted to meeting their "admirers." Just doesn't seem to be an equivalent here in New York for those into cuckoldry and swing, compared to what I could find in other smaller, more seemingly conservative cities. |
| ManhattanMatt | Posted – 2/27/2007 7:45:01 PM | show profile So, Kylesec ... ...you're a "bull"? That's hot. I've done the bull thing. Can be quite fun. |
| seeattleme | Posted – 2/27/2007 7:50:35 PM | show profile DON'T GO TO ANOTHER BOARD, kyle! By all means post here! I wanna know about swingers in the media capitol of the world!!!!! MB needs people like you! |
| Bleak Spouse | Posted – 2/27/2007 8:15:33 PM | show profile funny how liberals basically believe in the opposite of buddhism when it comes to sexuality. in buddhism it's about respect and love when it comes to sex, not perversion, not having some husband jacking off while you're fucking his wife (foul language, but let the language represent what this guy is really talking about). it's always nice when there's trust, respect, and love in relationships. rather than confusion, disrespect, and abuse. |
| ManhattanMatt | Posted – 2/27/2007 8:25:24 PM | show profile To each his own, Bleak Spouse ... ...most of the time, all three parties are perfectly willing, if not enthusiastic about the arrangement. |
| Bleak Spouse | Posted – 2/27/2007 8:42:04 PM | show profile bullshit. some things are right. some are wrong. some people are willing to be killed in snuff films, that doesn't make me say, "To each his own!!!!" |
| ManhattanMatt | Posted – 2/27/2007 8:49:54 PM | show profile Bleak Spouse ... ... equating an "open" sexual relationship with getting killed is absurd, to say the least. And who are YOU to tell ME what's "right" and "wrong" when it comes to consentual relations? |
| kylesec | Posted – 2/27/2007 8:53:19 PM | show profile | email poster Yeah. I mean look Bleak, I'm glad you enjoy that more uplifting sexuality. I personally like mine hot, sweaty, dirty and nasty when it's just for fun. I had a perfectly normal loving sex life at one point and will likely have one again. However there's a power to being a "bull" (you're right Matt, and an African American bull at that which seems to add an additional thrill) that I'm enjoying right now. This can't go on forever. At some point you just look like one of those sad old strippers who keeps most of their clothes on during their time onstage, trying to hold onto a long gone particular type of sexual energy and there's an aggressiveness you have to bring to the table in the lifestyle that'll mellow out eventually. Right now though, I'm in good shape and enjoying a different kink, so I'm going to ride it out for another three or four wives or whatever and see how it goes. Funny thing is I wasn't looking for it. Picked up the wife solo at a friend's wedding in Toms River NJ. She really brought me into the whole thing. I blame her. Kidding... |
| kylesec | Posted – 2/27/2007 8:55:24 PM | show profile And what's up with a name like "Bleak Spouse"? Are things hitting too close to home or something? I'm kidding but that's not the most inspiring ad for marriage I've ever read... |
| ManhattanMatt | Posted – 2/27/2007 9:01:32 PM | show profile Yeah, I wasn't looking for it, either. Being gay (but open-minded), I've found lots of husbands are willing to do a MMF three-way as their way of dipping their toe into the water, so to speak, of gay sex. |
| UGoGirl | Posted – 2/27/2007 9:13:24 PM | show profile The sense I have is that people who go down this path don't (usually) stay down this path. It's a phase, and loses its thrill, and probably eventually just doesn't feel right. Hey, we've all been there (not there exactly) but in a phase of life that we needed to get out from. At some point, as you say, you'll be tired of that and decide it's not what you want. |
| Bleak Spouse | Posted – 2/27/2007 9:13:32 PM | show profile kyle: "I personally like mine hot, sweaty, dirty and nasty when it's just for fun." My advice for both Kyle and Matt is that they should get together and give each other Cleveland Steamers in a live streaming video broadcast on mediabistro.com |
| ManhattanMatt | Posted – 2/27/2007 9:14:58 PM | show profile That's a nice suggestion, Bleak ... ...but I'm thinking that a muscular football player isn't Kyle's type. |
| kylesec | Posted – 2/27/2007 9:27:17 PM | show profile | email poster Bleak, Cleveland Steamers? just the fact that you're suggesting it says to me you got a lot more kink than you allow yourself to admit to. And yeah Matt's right, I gotta be the alpha dog in the room. It's why I can't go gay, there's just no way I can always be assured I'll be the one in best shape. Homosexual men (as a generalization) take a fantastic approach to fitness! |
| ManhattanMatt | Posted – 2/27/2007 9:32:01 PM | show profile I can switch-hit ... ...depending on the guy. ;) |
| Little Fingers | Posted – 2/27/2007 9:41:04 PM | show profile I'm really surprised that you're having such a hard time (ha ha) finding the swing scene in NYC. Have you checked the personal ads in the Village Voice? Nerve.com? I'm not involved in it myself but have a few friends who are (in another city, unfortunately, or I'd hook you up)...they meet a lot of people at nightclubs, particularly those known to be "BDSM/alt sexuality" clubs. There *have* to be some of those in Manhattan! |
| ManhattanMatt | Posted – 2/27/2007 9:42:01 PM | show profile Craigslist, baby! It's all there! |
| kylesec | Posted – 2/27/2007 10:16:30 PM | show profile | email poster I find a lot of the alt scene requires costumes, tats and a lot of dedication to being freaky, balls out weird (which God bless ya, works for some people). I just don't have that much time to devote to it. Admittedly I haven't a ton of experience, but in my limited involvement, I just find I like vanilla (read that not out of the ordinary) MILF who's looking for a little fun for a couple of months. The fact that she can go home to a hubby and I can go back home to my shabbily kept apartment and watch the Godfather on DVD until 3 am, reminds me of why it's fun to be single and just screwing for thrills. Oh and craigslist is full of fakes. Full to the brim. Nerve, maybe, but I thought that site was pretty dead in terms of visitors...Voice? I dunno. Worth a look, I suppose. |
| Bleak Spouse | Posted – 2/27/2007 10:55:50 PM | show profile kyle: you don't consider yourself "freaky" and "balls out weird"? |
| kylesec | Posted – 2/27/2007 11:34:52 PM | show profile Of course I do. I however don't devote my entire outward appearance to letting people know this fact as some in the alt scene do. I don't walk around in assless chaps or multiple chains in multiple piercings or fifty tribal tattoos, et al. These are usually shorthand for people to know you're a freaky fuck machine. I just don't do that. Nothing wrong with it, but I prefer jeans and t-shirt to most other ensembles. I believe this topic is too outre for your sensitive ears, or eyes as it were Bleak Spouse. Go to bed and snuggle up to your honey... |
| Bleak Spouse | Posted – 2/28/2007 12:46:51 AM | show profile true, it is a bit much for my sensitive ears. i think comments like "I personally like mine hot, sweaty, dirty and nasty" would go over better on a website visited devoted for rapists and child molestors rather than journalists. |
