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Topic: HELP!!

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mjtcrafty Posted – 3/22/2007 12:05:58 PM | show profile | email poster
I'm in a pickle. A friend told me of an opening at her company. The commute is ridiculous, so I said no. A few weeks later, friend contacted me again and I said "why not? I'll interview," even though I was pretty sure that I was not interested in the job.

Fast forward. Interview has happened. They said that I wouldn't hear from them for a good week, and they'll send me an editing test. Whew! I think. I have time to stew and back out gracefully without making my friend look bad at her job.

It's been two days since the interview, and the head hunter just contacted me with an offer. What do I do? How can I turn down this job without making my friend look bad???
aj Posted – 3/22/2007 12:13:38 PM | show profile
When you told your friend "why not?" did he/she understand you weren't really sure from the get go? If so, tell the recruiter that you're currently considering another offer and then politely decline the offer. I don't think you'll be letting your friend down. Everything's happened so fast and just because you were recommended doesn't mean you're going to get and/or take the job.
mjtcrafty Posted – 3/22/2007 12:18:07 PM | show profile
yes she did. I told her that I wasn't happy about the commute, and that I eventually want out of this particular brand of publishing altogether.
foodlit Posted – 3/22/2007 12:34:34 PM | show profile
It won't make your friend look bad, a long commute is a very valid reason not to take a job. Sometimes you don't realize how bad the commute is until you go to the interview and sit in rush hour traffic.

That said, if you knew from the get go that the commute was horrible and that you definitely would not take the job...you really shouldn't wasted their time interviewing.
bookjour Posted – 3/22/2007 2:19:10 PM | show profile | email poster
help
dear help...you should probably be honest with the person who referred you. Maybe they can work something out. At this point you wasted a lot of people's time.
midwestwriter Posted – 3/22/2007 3:20:38 PM | show profile
Yeah. Just be honest. I don't think you wasted people's time. But, as someone who was recently put in a tight spot because a friend told me she would apply for a job then didn't apply or return my calls or emails, all I can say is I wish she would have just been honest and let me know when her mind changed so when HR comes a'callin' I can say. "She decided she wanted to continue to freelance." "She passed-away." Or something.
mjtcrafty Posted – 3/22/2007 4:31:07 PM | show profile
Well, i was pretty sure I wasn't interested in the job as I said, but not 100%, so I agreed to the interview. I feel like I really couldn't be sure that the commute wasn't for me till I tried it, which I did for the interview. Is that unprofessional?
mjtcrafty Posted – 3/22/2007 4:33:00 PM | show profile
Before the interview, I wasn't 100% sure. That's why I agreed to go try for it. Is that unprofessional?
mumbo jumbo Posted – 3/22/2007 11:00:33 PM | show profile
mjtcrafty: You weren't wrong to go on the interview. Back when I was unemployed I went on every interview I got, even when I wasn't sure about a job or thought that perhaps I wouldn't want it. It was useful in that you never know who you'll meet and where those interactions might lead. Plus it gives you more experience interviewing. And as for the commute, you might have found that it wasn't so bad after all. But it's a reciprocal decision--just as they are under no obligation to offer you a job, nor are you obliged to accept it. Your friend, however, might be missing out on a recruiting bonus. My company pays about $1000 to employees who recommend a candidate who then gets hired.
chu1003374 Posted – 3/22/2007 11:08:10 PM | show profile
A friend should be especially understanding, which ought to make it a non-issue
foodlit Posted – 3/23/2007 5:37:24 AM | show profile
If you weren't 100% sure, then that's fine. Better to find out before you start that the commute is awful, than to take the job and quit. Not taking a job because of the commute is a very valid reason and does not reflect poorly on the company, the position or your friend at all. Don't worry about it.

:) Pam
mailbag Posted – 3/23/2007 8:52:59 PM | show profile | email poster
You take charge
If they extended you an offer they want you.

I gather you never brought up the idea of mobility. If it isn't too late (meaning you haven't rejected the offer) tell them you want the job, but the deal breaker for your "quality of life" is that you must work from home.

If they want you that bad you must have what it takes. So, if they growl at mobility (which would be totally asinine on their part) you are better off without them.


dribbledrive1 Posted – 3/24/2007 2:10:47 AM | show profile
I think you are making too much of an issue about this. If you don't want the job because the commute is too long, just say that. Case closed.
Stanley_Milgram Posted – 3/24/2007 9:00:01 AM | show profile
agree with dribble. stop being so neurotic. say the commute is too long, say you got another position, say anything. it doesn't matter. everyone will get over it.
Marie Posted – 3/24/2007 3:07:48 PM | show profile
This is not a big deal, and your friend won't look bad, no matter what. If you don't want the job, turn it down. You don't even need to give a reason. I wouldn't worry about wasting anyone's time. You should explore every possibility and interview as often as possible. Worry more about what's good for you.

Your friend recommended you because she thought you'd be good for the job, and probably gets a little bonus for recommending a qualified candidate.

She has no control over you want the job or not.

Stop stewing over this. What is it about this profession that makes everyone so neurotic?
paula_vergara Posted – 3/26/2007 6:52:15 PM | show profile
Sounds like you're the most worried about your friend's reaction.
If you are honest, and your friend holds it against you, then that says something more about the friendship. I would't stress about it too much. You can't control someone else's reaction to your decision and you should not take a job just to avoid hurting a friend's feelings.
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