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Topic: Invisible Woman - finding inner beauty in 50s
| Author | Message |
| CurvyGurl | Posted – 6/6/2007 2:36:39 PM | show profile | email poster Looking for everyday women over 50 who don't feel as beautiful as they used to and want advice from older women on how, when their looks started to fade, they were able to still feel sexy, beautiful and fabulous...even with wrinkles and all! Just because guys may not be trying to whistle at you on the street anymore, it doesn't mean you aren't sexy or beautiful. This is for a tv show segment with well-known author airing at the end of June. |
| DHernandez | Posted – 6/6/2007 5:55:54 PM | show profile Actually, when I hit 50, guys didn't just *try* to whistle at me on the street, they actually did so. What a ridiculous blanket assumption that everyday women their 50s are wrinkled and faded and don't feel sexy or beautiful -- it simply isn't so. Are you working for "The Stereotype Show"? |
| CurvyGurl | Posted – 6/6/2007 7:24:59 PM | show profile | email poster I couldn't agree more! Great! I love it! But, we have talked to women who are looking for other women -- LIKE YOU -- to give some advice on how to feel beautiful at any age. One woman we talked to said she feels confident as a mom and in her career, but she is looking at her hands that are wrinkling and her and the lines around her eyes and she doesn't feel like anyone looks at her or even sees her any more. She is married, but when she was younger, I guess she used to turn some heads, and now she wants to hear advice from people who were able to embrace aging gracefully and get over the way she is feeling now. |
| Katie | Posted – 6/7/2007 12:53:33 PM | show profile | email poster Beauty in 50's I hit 50 six months ago. I took a little time out, got rid of obligations that I didn't want and found a new man. I look better than I ever have and feel great too! 50's are not what they used to be. Neither are the 60's. |
| advicesisterA | Posted – 6/7/2007 7:42:54 PM | show profile wrinkles make you ugly? Who knew? Men don't whistle at women over 50 because of those "wrinkles and all?" Sorry, but this is just so sterotypical it makes me furious. I write beauty reviews and I'm over 50. The idea that women who are aging feel unattractive is primarily perpetuated by the media and youth-driven under 40 types...sorry, it's just not an issue unless you continue to make it one! |
| DHernandez | Posted – 6/7/2007 9:56:10 PM | show profile >>Great! I love it! But, we have talked to women who are looking for other women -- LIKE YOU -- to give some advice Sorry, CurvyGurl -- not LIKE ME. How could I advise women who have wrinkles when I haven't ever had any? At least you're upfront about your biases. Recently, a writer in her 30s went trolling for women over 40, then laid it on them: How are you still able to feel sexy with sagging boobs? Umm, I couldn't address that -- haven't been there, haven't done that. We're simply not decrepit like you want us to be. |
| advicesisterA | Posted – 6/7/2007 11:29:24 PM | show profile ladies, are you serious? Do you not hear yourselves? You all appear to be saying "thank heavens I am not one of those pathetic, sagging, ugly, sexless old crones over age 40"--Whew! Great for you that you're still young and "firm," but that doesn't make you sexy, appealing, or attractive in the least. And, like it or not, you WILL be 40 or 50 or "beyond" and you will not want to be considered sexless and ugly and invisible...trust me on this one. Why not start changing your attitudes now? They're pretty awful. I'm ashamed that supposedly educated women are making these comments. You should be ashamed, too. These "hags" as you appear to consider them may be just your mothers and grandmothers, but soon, very soon, they will be YOU. Start treating age as a benefit and a blessing, and stop perpetuating the attitude that over 40 is as good as dead. |
| Village Gal | Posted – 6/8/2007 9:40:49 AM | show profile It is hard to respond to this because the original poster seems to be coming from such biased position. I'm over 50 and feel sexy and fit. I weigh almost the same as I did in college. I do yoga and bike ride and have no trouble turning younger heads if I go into a women's bar (Im gay) I've got news for you.. older women are hot! But it's also that I exude a confidence I lacked when I was younger and that itself is sexy. |
| WordyBird | Posted – 6/8/2007 10:34:21 AM | show profile I'm 40, my sister is 50, and I found this to be ridiculous. You either let yourself go when you hit a milestone, or you don't, and how you take care of yourself is how you're going to feel about yourself. It's about YOU, not whether some slob with no manners whistles at you on the street. Is American society really not past all of this nonsense yet? Are we still validating ourselves through our looks, and whether some idiot is rude enough to comment on them as he drives by? Look, if, for some reason, you need the approval of strange men to make yourself feel pretty, oh so pretty, go on MySpace and post a photo. No matter what you look like, there will be plenty of men to come along and assess you, add you to their friends list, and proceed to make comments ranging from, "very pretty, love this pic" to graphic descriptions of what they'd like to do to you. Sheesh! |
| scribechick | Posted – 6/8/2007 1:57:22 PM | show profile Ugh! Fading Flower Children? Give Me a Break Your angles for recent topics, like this one, are outdated big-time. I am a baby boomer, 54. I still have guys in their 20s hitting on me. I am 120 lbs., 5'5", size 4-6. No stretch marks (never had kids); no flab (I swim 4X per wk). No wrinkles (good genes, shun the sun). I still look sexy and yet don't NEED a man like I felt I did in my 20s & 30s to confirm my beauty status. The deal is, countless women in their 50s have both inner and outer beauty. I feel you need to get a bit more hip with your topic and show the real facts not what you think is the norm. |
| advicesisterA | Posted – 6/8/2007 2:39:15 PM | show profile It looks like the women responding to this post who are past a "certain age" all agree that this issue is so "last year." it's biased, outdated, simply silly. I'd be much more interested in knowing why those under 40 reading this thread are still allowed to think that if they age, they'll lose their allure and power? Where is this stuff coming from? Your mothers" the media? |
| scribechick | Posted – 6/8/2007 2:54:01 PM | show profile From advicesisterA: "These "hags" as you appear to consider them may be just your mothers and grandmothers, but soon, very soon, they will be YOU." Funny you should say that. After my swim yesterday I walked past a woman who appeared to be in her 70s+. She looked sad, jaded, was smoking, and well, not a pretty sight." I thought, "Gee, what if I look like that some day." But hey, it's about taking care of yourself--inside and outside. I don't believe wrinkles are ugly but our society programs us to believe women look old while men appear sexy with character lines. Meanwhile, women over 50 need to find role models: Diane Keaton, Sally Field, etc., -- these 60ish women are both earthy and sexy. It's about good health, good attitude, and good self-esteem. That is what is sexy at any age. Again, the original poster of this thread seems to have an ageist attitude that needs to be tweaked at tad to keep up with the times. I'm off to swim laps to chill. |
| catlondon | Posted – 6/8/2007 5:14:58 PM | show profile I think what advicea (or a screen name like that) means is that everyone is quick to trash the topic and then quicker to point out they themselves, while 50-something, have no wrinkles, flab, sagging boobs, whatever. I am approaching 50 and my body has certainly changed. While I'm aging well (or at least, that's what I like to think), I look different than I did at 25. I've never had children, but my breasts now fail the pencil test big time and my butt droops some--that's just time and physics. Nor do I have the natural "it" factor the fabulously lovely at 70 Julie Christie does (go see her in "Away from Her"). I no longer wear minis and I have hard time getting up off the floor. From the posts I've read, that makes me a woman who has let herself go rather than just someone who is getting older and is working with it. |
| TGirl | Posted – 6/8/2007 5:37:14 PM | show profile I'm in my late 30s and so have not confronted this next stage yet, but obviously it is just around the corner for me and I think of it a lot. I'm just wondering about the women around age 50 and whether they look to people like Christie Brinkley (around 50, I think), who have clearly had cosmetic surgery but also work very hard to keep up their toned, fit appearance. I saw Christie on a TV interview recently saying, "Our 50 is not the same as our mothers' 50!" And I thought, yes, because your 50 includes facelifts, eye tucks, Botox, and a dozen other "mother's little helpers." What are your opinions on plastic surgery vs. aging naturally and gracefully? Is it strabge being among a crowd of 50-somethings who look 30-something? Or is that only among the celebrity elite? |
| catlondon | Posted – 6/8/2007 5:44:09 PM | show profile TGirl: Watch TV in HiDef. It's rocking both the cosmetic surgery industry and the make-up artist world (artists who have experience doing make-up for HiDef are in incredible demand). The thing is, a lot of cosmetic surgery doesn't make you look 30 when you're 50--it makes you look 50 with cosmetic surgery. So you're right on about today's 50 not being your mother's 50. |
| MedScribe | Posted – 6/8/2007 6:04:48 PM | show profile There's got to be better role models for "older" women than Sally Fields and Diane Keaton. While they might be fabulous as actors, Fields has had at least one round of plastic surgery and Keaton favors soft lighting and turtle necks whenever she can get away with it. I find this thread intriguing and can't help thinking all these comments from the 50-plus crowd, that they are still hot, perky, wrinkle-free and men really dig them very revealing! If CurvyGurl is still looking for women who will actually admit that they DID look better 20 or 30 years ago, she should try something like Delphi Forums. |
| Village Gal | Posted – 6/9/2007 7:56:50 AM | show profile wait a minute. I have laugh lines or whatever you call them. It is hard to prevent that (unless you do cosmetic intervention) but everyone can be physically fit if you exercise and eat well. And who says lines are not sexy? Oh I forgot, they are sexy on men but not women. |
| scribechick | Posted – 6/9/2007 11:39:01 AM | show profile This thread is a thinker. Reminds me of that article that come out yrs. ago about if a woman is over 35 she has a slim chance of getting married. And yeah, women freaked out. Looking back to how I looked at 20 and 30--photos to the left of me. I was fresh and always got carded but did not have a sense of self or style. Today, as a health author, I know that if you take care of yourself and maintain good health, yeah, you can be and stay sexy inside and outside through your 50s and turn heads. I don't feel Keaton should be slighted. Turtlenecks and lighter hair are tricks to maintain beauty as you hit the 60s mark. In the film "Something Has Gotta Give" it tells it like it is about women and men in their mid 50s. Check out her daughter: Lean, dazzling, flirty. However, the character Keaton plays "accomplished playwright"--has got substance and that makes her beautiful and attractive. And she too is lean, dazzling, flirty but more sophisticated and nurturing. Also, I do feel we boomers are aging better than our moms if and only if we take care of ourselves. And while I haven't gone "under the knife" yet...As for drooping breasts and butts--it's genetics. Small breasts here and small buttocks--in tanks and jeans not sure if gravity has done its deed that much. Arms and legs are cut due to swimming. I see women in their 20s and 30s that will kill to have my little girl bod. In my 20s, I was physical too but inconsistent due to life's ups and downs. These days, it's easy to stay on a schedule. Lastly, some of us are protesting this down at 50s concept--is it because we know we're going down? Dunno. But if you nurture your body, mind, and spirit, I feel we can and often do look better than our daughters and granddaughters and fur children. The image of 50+ having the spayed cat look, gray hair, wrinkles, and doting over grandkids is one that doesn't have to be reality. Not in the 21st century. |
| scribechick | Posted – 6/9/2007 1:16:09 PM | show profile P.S. Can't by into "women over 50 who don'f tell as beautiful as they used to...when their looks started to fade...even with wrinkles and all!" Everyday woman at nearing 55...without plastic surgery--me: http://calorey.com/AboutCal.html |
| MedScribe | Posted – 6/9/2007 2:39:18 PM | show profile Not sure I completely agree that men are allowed to age, but women aren't. Yes, men do get a few more years' grace (Cruise and Pitt for example), and yes men can get away with gray hair (Clooney), but personally I find aging hotties like Pacino, Harrison Ford, De Niro way more cute when they were under 45-or-so than as they are now in their fifites, sixties and seventies. |
| scribechick | Posted – 6/9/2007 3:32:34 PM | show profile Wasn't Sean Connery voted as one of America's most sexiest men? Character in both men and women count for a lot. But hey, I like old homes built in 1930 or before so what do I know? Who knows. I guess age-conscious boomers will probably freak when we hit our 80s, huh? Again, it's all about health. If you stay healthy, you'll look better, feel great and bypass the ageists and live life and turn the "right" heads. |
| MedScribe | Posted – 6/9/2007 6:29:27 PM | show profile I think you can be perfectly healthy and still look every day of your age. For me the role models for over-50 are those women who, yes, look and feel great and like to keep fit, but are too preoccupied with other stuff to vigorously deny they don't look a day over 22 (they do realize they probably don't pass for 22. but that's the reality of life and it beats the alternative, I hope!) This vehement denial of aging -- I am wrinkle free! My butt does not sag! Men want me! -- sounds almost as sad as the 50-year-olds who say they're too old to do anything other than chill in front of the TV or footslog it around the mall. |
| DHernandez | Posted – 6/10/2007 10:59:04 AM | show profile My point in saying so was that being over 50 does not mean a woman is necessarily prune-faced, sagging and unattractive. A lot of us aren't -- and a surprising number of women in their 30s are. So maybe the key is not attaching an age to the appearance; don't make it a call for women over 50, but for women who *felt* "their looks started to fade." This, to my mind, would be realistic and far less offensive to older women. I, too, would be curious to know why women in their 20s and 30s worry about the stereotypes assumed by shows like the OP's. We old ladies worked hard in the '70s and '80s to empower you, dammit! |
| scribechick | Posted – 6/10/2007 11:32:13 AM | show profile Belinda, well said. I know women in their 30s here at Lake Tahoe who have ruined their skin due to sun worshipping and the high altitude; are overweight; indulge in alcohol and drugs and they look unhealthy and do not do their age justice. I do believe if a woman has good genes, is healthy, fit and lean, takes care of her skin, and practice beauty tips (from lightening her hair to wearing less makeup than more) she can look years younger than she is. Yes, baby boomers are age-conscious but many of us aren't about to be "invisible" -- manless or with a man. Not a chance. |
| LAEdtr | Posted – 6/11/2007 11:56:09 AM | show profile My wife is getting to this stage, and while she has changed in appearance over the years, I would say it's for the better. She makes an effort, but it's more than that. There's something to be said for seasoning, for a face and body literally getting comfortable in their skin. |
