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Topic: No Chemistry with New Boss-what to do?
| Author | Message |
| GottaGetOut | Posted – 6/27/2007 8:40:53 PM | show profile I started a job about 2 weeks ago and from the first day I could tell that I didn't quite "click" with my boss professionally. We seem to have totally different communication styles. A good example is I literally had to ask her a question four different ways before I got an answer. Or how I'll send three questions via e-mail and only get an answer to one. I was also left to fend for myself my first week on the job (by the way it's a huge agency and a very huge/complicated client) when she went out of town on business. She obviously hadn't given a thought to the fact that I was new and might need some type of background info before I could even get started. I'm trying to cut her some slack since: She's new to management (no more than 1-2 months) She's very overwhelmed (we seem to be frantically hiring people) I'm trying to troubleshoot the situation before I get any further in and the lack of direction starts to affect my projects. I'm not sure if I can have a sit-down to discuss our bad communication. Any suggestions on how to combat this? We just don't seem to "get" each other. |
| mailbag | Posted – 6/28/2007 5:42:20 AM | show profile | email poster My opinion since you are new - is that you can get away with asking a lot of questions. I think there are other ways for you to pick up her style than asking directly. You and the manager are reaching for the same goal, so ask for a sit-down meeting or go to lunch together outside of the office. You want to succeed - what are her suggestions to keep you on that track? And, what are her expectations of you? |
| fourfold | Posted – 6/28/2007 8:51:43 AM | show profile You're astute to cut her some slack for the reasons mentioned. Very perceptive of you. Does this person supervise other people? Can you talk to them to find out what communication tactics they find effective? Or maybe you can query others who deal with her but are not direct reports. Someone in that office must be able to give you some advice. Also, sometimes overwhelmed people need for you to give them some options. Instead of saying, "what's my job?" or "how can I help you?", say "I've noticed that x y and z need to be done. Is there one of these you'd like me to tackle first?" Even if you're taking a wild guess at what x y and z might be, it can get your boss to think--and talk--in specifics. |
| questoo1 | Posted – 6/28/2007 10:13:06 AM | show profile if she is over 35 and not married...get out while you can. Its never going to get better |
| WordyBird | Posted – 6/28/2007 11:31:50 AM | show profile "Also, sometimes overwhelmed people need for you to give them some options. Instead of saying, "what's my job?" or "how can I help you?", say "I've noticed that x y and z need to be done. Is there one of these you'd like me to tackle first?" Even if you're taking a wild guess at what x y and z might be, it can get your boss to think--and talk--in specifics." Not to mention, it will make you invaluable to her. Never a bad thing to the the boss's right-hand person. |
| Hryupnwt | Posted – 6/28/2007 12:08:41 PM | show profile "if she is over 35 and not married...get out while you can. Its never going to get better" Oh puh-leeze quest001 - - what a lousy generalization. |
| GottaGetOut | Posted – 6/28/2007 1:15:18 PM | show profile Just for the record, she's in her late 20s and seems to have a life outside of work. I asked for expectations and typical assignments I may receive in my current position, so that when they popped up I'd know to jump on them right away, but I was given the typical "your job varies from week to week, so you can't really make a schedule for yourself." I'm her only staff (she sort of directs the interns, but everyone does) and I think I'm her first ever staff. I'll try to be very clear and offer options, but I'm already getting frustrated. Just by watching others in her position and their interactions with their staff, I'm envious because they actually give directions. |
| HisGirlFriday | Posted – 6/28/2007 1:25:30 PM | show profile I had a similar problem with an editor who constantly would forget to answer questions posed on email. (Getting her to answer on the phone was even harder.) I started listing the questions with numbers, like: Hi! I need to know: 1. When is the deadline on the Circus story? 2. Do you care whether I talk to Mr. Smith or Mr. Jones on the lawsuit story? Etc. If she only answered one of those questions, I'd just cut and paste and shoot it back to her. Also; I've found it helpful to say in person or on email _ Do you prefer that I ask you questions in email or in person? Is there a time of day when you are less busy? Maybe if you can snag her for a cup of (iced) coffee you can talk about it ... Good luck! |
| mehean | Posted – 6/28/2007 2:03:04 PM | show profile | email poster Here are few suggestions that I always give new employees that I hire on (I've also had this situation myself). Since it sounds that she is very busy, not all may be applicable, but at least they can be in your "artillery." -I would schedule 30 min sessions with her each day. Be sure to have your questions there so you can verbally ask them instead of relying on email. Email is sometimes too easy to overlook. -Ask her what her expectations of you are -- openly and directly. Also, ask her what she can be expected of, in other words, what you can expect from her. What is her preferred method of communication (phone, in person, email, etc.) and when she likes to get caught up with communications. I would also ask what type of involvement she likes having with certain issues. Being new to management, it is often hard for manager's to hand off some of their work, but continue to hang in there and reinforce your competence (otherwise, why would she have hired you) and also speak up as much as possible about your need for some training and cultural knowledge as you are new to the company and position. If you are open and honest with her, she will have to respond to your concerns. Also reinforce that you are there to help her, but she needs to direct you in which ways you are able to help. Hope these are helpful... |
| GottaGetOut | Posted – 6/28/2007 2:29:51 PM | show profile Great suggestions, I'm going to try all of them! I believe that after about a month I have a mandatory meeting with the big boss, and she's supposed to evaluate how everything is going. If it hasn't gotten better (and after I've tried everyone's suggestions) I'll bring up my concerns. |
| ManhattanMatt | Posted – 6/28/2007 8:11:30 PM | show profile She's only in her late 20s?? Get out. Now. |
| writesonwater | Posted – 6/28/2007 11:33:44 PM | show profile My thinking is that don't worry that you don't "click" with her. It's probably not about chemistry -- it sounds like she's distracted and feeling her way in management, which she's not used to or just plain not that suited to. Nothing you can do about that, except make it easy for her by solving her problems. If you think you can see what needs to be done, I love the posters' ideas, especially: *"I've noticed that x y and z need to be done. Is there one of these you'd like me to tackle first?" Even if you're taking a wild guess at what x y and z might be, it can get your boss to think--and talk--in specifics." * Ask her what her expectations of you are -- openly and directly. Also, ask her what she can be expected of, in other words, what you can expect from her. What is her preferred method of communication (phone, in person, email, etc.) and when she likes to get caught up with communications. I would also ask what type of involvement she likes having with certain issues. Management is often hard on new managers, as above poster notes. Being specific -- scheduled meetings, emails to track things -- can help. "Maybe now's a good time to go over your expectations of me," can open things up to get things started -- worked in Working Girl (at the end.) Be careful when you talk with the Big Boss. Don't whine or criticize. If anything, frame it as positively as possible -- "I'm feeling like I'd like a more active role in the office's operations, and I'm wondering if you have any suggestions for me." If Big Boss doesn't know you but knows your Little Boss and believes in her scatterbrained "genius" you could be cast as misfit at the least. Just be careful. |
| Bleak Spouse | Posted – 6/29/2007 12:37:07 AM | show profile I had a similar problem and used to drive to work with my stomach in knots...eventually the situation imploded and I got sacked. My advice is that if things don't get better, find a new job cause it'll only get worse. |
| GottaGetOut | Posted – 6/29/2007 10:02:57 AM | show profile Big boss and little boss are definitely chummy, so I'll have to be careful of any criticisms I have. It's my 10th day and my boss has been here for 5 of them. Ideally I'd love to have some sort of daily or weekly meeting, but right now she seems annoyed if I even pop in her office every other day for 2-3 minutes. |
| fiddlestix | Posted – 6/30/2007 1:07:42 AM | show profile | email poster warning flag If she is becoming annoyed when you check in every 2-3 days and you've still a new hire, I'd say you have a big problem. If she's that close with Big Boss you don't have a chance. She'll never be held accountable for her mistakes. I second the others warning you to leave. |
| Marie | Posted – 6/30/2007 8:59:17 AM | show profile Yes, because you'll never be able to discuss your problems with big boss. I would just do the best you can, get to know your coolleagues, collect your pay check, and quietly look for another job. It doesn't sound as if this can ever work as long as she's your boss. |
| chucho | Posted – 6/30/2007 11:20:22 AM | show profile Wow. You want to cut your boss some slack before having a sit-down chat with her? Who's the subordinate here? If somebody I just hired wanted to "have a chat" about my aloofness, I'd strongly consider firing her. I'm not saying your boss isn't a flake, but she is your boss, as you say. Also, when you say you sent an email with three questions and she only replied to one, I'm curious: what was the word count of that particular email? It's very common for a.) people to get too wordy and specific by email (when a phone call is more appropriate), and b.) for people to selectively respond to one point even if an email have numerous "tasks" for the recipient. If she's overwhelmed perhaps instead of making things worse by being a new employee sitting down to have a chat with her boss about how she doesn't have her shit together you should offer to help her? PS: Some boss-subordinate relationships, like any others, were never meant to be. You can always resign. (Or she can always let you go.) |
| Marie | Posted – 6/30/2007 1:11:50 PM | show profile Yes, and it's just work. I had a boss like that recently (she left--she was a terrible manager, but it wasn't for me to tell her that, and as it turned out, there were incredible forces and pressures on her that I was not aware of when I started), and I still don''t have great bosses. But I just do my job, try not to make too many mistakes or step on too many toes, and contribute beyond it as I'm able. And look forward to my check, and focus on improving my life outside the office. Again, it's only work. If you want, just knock on her door at what seems like a good moment, and ask what you can do to help her andthe department more. If you have a few ideas, spit them out. Keep it very low-key. Don't make a big deal about "having to talk." You're the one who has to please her, not vice versa. She might tell you you're doing fine, and just continue to do what you're doing. Again, spit out a few ideas or areas where you might contribute if you have them. Not everyone is a big talker and explainer. And I personally hate e-mail as a major means of communication. The phone or in person is much better. I only use e-mail when I want something documented. And then I keep copies in an, unfortunately, every-growing file. |
| GottaGetOut | Posted – 7/1/2007 9:05:14 PM | show profile Again, my major concern is that because of the lack of feedback and the lack of direction, I'm not learning what I need to about the client (not everything is written down, some things I need to be told verbally.) Not knowing things about the client is going to affect the work I turn in, so I'm trying to figure out the best way to work with her/get her attention. So far, I have been forced to email her since she's hardly been in the office since I started and I think it's good to have some documentation of how little info she's been giving me before assigning projects. I'm not trying to have a heart to heart with her, just want her to manage, since that's in her job description. |
| Marie | Posted – 7/1/2007 10:05:16 PM | show profile Isn't there another way to find out about the clients? She's obviously not big on communication, and you can't really tell her to manage. You're in a tough spot, but I would just do your own due diligence on the clients (research, ask others in the agency), and proceed as best you can. You can't complain about her, because, as you said, she's in with the bigger boss, and you can't tell her how to manage. Just do the best you can. There's not much else you can do. I know that's not great advice, but you really can't start telling her how to do her job, and you can't complain. |
| caitlinkelly | Posted – 7/2/2007 9:11:39 AM | show profile Marie makes a good point; maybe this boss simply expected you (fairly or not, in your eyes) to hit the ground running and figure out a lot of this stuff on your own. There are many bosses who can no more manage effectively or helpfully than fly to the moon...but they still expect results from their subordinates and those who can swim fast (even if they are totally new to the field/agency/whatever) won't sink. I'd get as much info as you can from every possible source but your boss and try to do your job the best you can. The fact she seems annoyed you are asking her questions is the pits but it's also letting you know she's not in the mood (or temperament or timing right now) to give you the feedback and direction you crave. What you think you need is one thing; what she thinks you need is another... |
| Marie | Posted – 7/2/2007 9:53:43 AM | show profile Stated brilliantly. You really can do this--just trust yourself, and get what you need from other sources. I had this experience on my current job when I started, and it didi affect the way I did my job. But the bad supervisor is gone (actually, she was under certain pressures I didn't know about at the time), and I'm still there. The bottom line is, you have to adapt to her style, not vice versa. |
| beachbum | Posted – 7/2/2007 3:03:25 PM | show profile The fact that she's only in her late 20s is part of the issue. She probably has little experience managing and is feeling overwhelmed by the whole thing. She probably doesn't know how to manage you or others well yet, I've had many managers like this. They expect you to know what to do by osmosis and it's very frustrating. Can you pick the brain of a nearby coworker doing a similar job to yours? That's what I always did when the boss was unavailable. And I wouldn't take your boss's aloofness too personally. For all you know she's avoiding you b/c she hasn't a clue how to direct you. Or she could be job searching and could have other things distracting her from doing her job. You never know. The problem is you need information. I suggest you be professional but firm and ask her direct questions about things you need to do your job. First try to find those things out on your own (so you don't seem too needy) but if you definitely need her answers, ask her directly. If all in all you still can't get information, as the previous posters said, start looking for a new job. You don't need that daily stress. |
| Homer | Posted – 7/2/2007 4:05:25 PM | show profile What if she got hit by a bus tomorrow? What would you do? Approach it like that if you have to. If she suddenly vanished, what would you do? I agree with the advice of gathering as much info from others as possible, including the client. You could say something like, what do you like best about how (boss lady) handles this issue, what works best for you so I can follow suit. For all you know, the client would like to change the way some things are dealt with, and you're offering the perfect opportunity for a fresh approach. |
| GottaGetOut | Posted – 7/2/2007 10:58:53 PM | show profile It's only week 3 so I won't give up all hope yet. I'm not quite ready to start looking for a new job (it's a great company, great department, I just seemed to get the most inexperienced manager of the bunch.) I'm the only person at my level (mid) in my specialty, and there are just the two of us on the account, so I have to rely on her for information. But I have been digging through client files and making sure she knows I'm available to help with anything. |
