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Topic: No Chemistry with New Boss-what to do?
| Author | Message |
| onmyown | Posted – 7/3/2007 7:17:45 PM | show profile Suck it up Geez, what happened to people paying their dues? I had a horrible city editor at my first job -- but I stuck with it and learned so much about how to be a great reporter. This guy used to call reporters up to his desk and sit there while he reamed us out -- highly embarrassing but also highly educational. The thing was, he really taught us green journalists, and once I learned what it took to really report the news, the city editor eased up. Actually, he eased up once he realized I really wanted to learn and that I would happily rework stories to meet his approval. It took nine months or so, but I learned more in that time than since -- and I ended up missing his feedback in later years. |
| ManhattanMatt | Posted – 7/3/2007 9:15:25 PM | show profile onmyown ... ...there's a HUGE difference between a difficult boss who's experienced, knows the business inside and out, and is hard on you only to get the BEST out of you ... and a difficult boss who's young, incompetent, and clueless. |
| minty409 | Posted – 7/3/2007 11:26:51 PM | show profile over 35 and never been married SO true!!! Yeah, a total stereotypical generalization, but absolutely right on the money in my experience. I completely prefer male bosses as a general rule, and yes, I'm female. |
| Marie | Posted – 7/4/2007 12:16:10 AM | show profile I'm just curious: What does married or not married and over 35 have to do with anything? Are you implying that such people have no lives? That's a stereotype I apply to married people. I would think as journalists we could stay away from such stupid thinking, although I don't know why. Obviously, Ifrom my last comment, I'm prone to it too. |
| ManhattanMatt | Posted – 7/4/2007 2:22:37 AM | show profile Married/Not Married ... ...doesn't really matter to me. But young and FEMALE ... that's a problem. |
| onmyown | Posted – 7/4/2007 3:36:01 AM | show profile Deal with it The fact is, most people will have bosses who are not ideal. You have to learn to deal with them. People are hired to do a job -- even if you're new, you must do what you think is best. Then, if it's not right, the boss will let you know. If it's a good job, then all is OK. The boss is not there to nurture, cosset and make new people feel good about themselves. The workplace is not supposed to be like home, when your parents made sure you felt comfortable and special at all times, no matter how you might be lacking. Fact is, most bosses have other things to do. |
| caitlinkelly | Posted – 7/4/2007 7:56:22 PM | show profile onmyown makes an interesting point and one that 20 and 30-somethings may see differently -- quite differently -- than those in their 40s, 50s or beyond. Older people (and maybe many in their 20s are fine with it) who would "pay dues" while working with/for emotionally difficult or abusive bosses are also those who grew up in a world of NON helicopter parents, knowing full well whatever *&^^%$$ work threw at us was ours alone to deal with. We had, and still have, no expectation of kindness or helpfulness from our bosses (huge generalization, I know...bring it on) while I think much younger workers, who have grown up in a much more protected/ive world do. No one cared a rip about nurturing or protecting our "self-esteem", in or out of the workplace, and, consequently, God help the young 'uns who get a boss our age who aren't likely to do a lot of hand-holding or Kleenex-offering. So maybe she's a lot better off with someone younger, albeit on a vertical learning curve. |
| Sag1217 | Posted – 7/4/2007 8:10:13 PM | show profile Lots of good points but I simply need more information than what I'm getting. Example: I'm working on an assigment that, if it had been assigned correctly, meaning, if she had stopped for 10 minutes instead of 2 and gave details, I could have been done with days ago. Instead, everytime I send a draft I get new edits, "by the way, we do it this way, we need these statistics in this document" and I'm back to square one. All of it is based on her preferences, no way I could have known to include these things in the draft(s) And while I'm waiting on edits, I literally have nothing to do, but try to dig up more information on the client and past projects if I want to have a clue as to what's going on, since I have no concrete job duties yet. I'm either ridiculously busy, or have nothing to do (I've asked for more work and she's ignored my requests!) I think we're both getting frustrated. But I do appreciate all of the advice. I'm trying not to hate her or the job, just taking it one day at a time. |
| beachbum | Posted – 7/5/2007 12:00:04 PM | show profile Sag You say she only give you 2 minutes instead of 10. How does she talk to you, while passing through the hallway on her way to the bathroom? Are you sitting in her office? If you have face time with her, after those 2 minutes, can't you say "What about x? Can you elaborate on that? Do you need any charts, graphs? Would you like me to check on X sources?" I mean, do you just sit there close-mouthed and let her leave? I don't get it. When I need more info I just keep popping into my boss' office asking questions. There's nothing wrong with that. I guess I don't understand why you can't get more info out of this woman. |
| caitlinkelly | Posted – 7/5/2007 12:59:08 PM | show profile This does sound frustrating...and it reinforces the notion your time has little value compared to hers (i.e. endlessly re-doing your work matters little to your boss, not a good sign.) I re-read your first post about how she won't respond verbally or by email...which then makes me wonder (info-seeking here, not flaming you) if there's *anything* in your style that's freaking her out and she is avoiding spending more (i.e. enough for you to do your job efficiently) time with you than you'd like because, somehow, you're rubbing her the wrong way...? Some people can unconsciously, no matter how smart or well-meaning, drive you mad just by their tone of voice (whiny, sulky, passive, up-talk, nasal, whatever) or even body language, let alone the content of their message...some people take bloody forever to even ask a simple question quickly and efficiently. Without sounding whiny, can you find out from anyone there who DOES deal well with her and how? I've had bosses who were so bizarre it seemed impossible they could retain so senior a position and the only way to stay sane and work around them was to find out, from even a few smart and savvy colleagues, that these communication roadblocks are: 1) not necessarily you, but possibly and very consistently them (or not), and 2) how to get your job done anyway. My last workplace boasted an unwritten motto of "sink or swim", from the lips of the head of HR on down. You may need to develop extremely strong arms... |
| ManhattanMatt | Posted – 7/5/2007 4:31:55 PM | show profile She's in over her head, clueless, and incompetent ... ... and you're a major threat to her. Use your "down time" wisely and start sending out resumes before it's too late. |
| Sag1217 | Posted – 7/5/2007 11:15:10 PM | show profile I've found one person who may be able to enlighten me a bit about her work style and we're having a meeting tomorrow, but I'm the first/only person who has to deal with her as a boss so there's no one who can really give me the scoop. The other people all have their own accounts and their only interactions with her are at department meetings. I'm pretty pleasant, get along with everyone and I've never had the problem of a boss who doesnt really want to be a boss, so I'm at a loss. I'm starting to think that when she got promoted she was forced to take a manager role. |
| Telling It Like It Is | Posted – 7/8/2007 4:18:10 AM | show profile | email poster Be proactive and ask questions but also send resumes out now Having worked for two ad agencies and a publishing company where everything was HOT deadline wise, you don't want to be left floundering like a mackrel just because your boss is new. Your new and your asking questions, trying to do your work. She is getting paid to be the manager so she needs to manage. This is a tricky rope you are on because it could flip in any way. Since they are having a hiring surge, sometimes they don't tell you it is because the other people quite. Let's face it, the company isn't going to brag about hiring inept managers. It is truly survival of the fittest w/ out ticking anyone off or making waves. #1) I'd definitely ask for some time to quickly talk w/ her about what would be the best means to get answers/communicate w/her. E-mail? Sticky notes on her door? Voice mail? #2) While your wading through the murky waters of ineptitude you should be putting in resumes everywhere you can to cover your back. Unless you are psychic you don't know how this will play out so you have to cover yourself. #3.) The next job interview you go on is as much about you whether you will fit in as well as can you work w/ the person who is hiring you. There are definite signs. Go WITH YOUR GUT REACTION. It never fails. Yes we all need to pay the bills and eat, but I recently had a similar experience in which I couldn't believe what a ding dong the person was that was interviewing me. When I came back from the interview, I commented to friends and family that she just wasn't on the ball. Something was off, lacking, she wasn't a "player" & I mean that in the someone who has made their mark, who has "it", someone you can admire and learn from. That being said, I got called back for an interview at the same company w/ someone else. That person was on the ball..."a player." So I took the position. To my horror I was constantly bombarded by the dingy one who was all over the place, repeated her requests with constant changes and labeled every day as being a mad house. When slight pressure was on, she would bolt in anger to her office of just leave the building. After being told to do a project with 15 different constant changes & several days of this I knew it wouldn't work. Plus a past acquintance of mine who I had seen working there upon being interviewed was mysteriously missing, so I asked where she was and they said she left. While I was there two other people....escaped from the zoo. I too made my departure when she blew like a volcano. So go with your gut. Obviously you know this is challenging & might not work out, so look else where for employment, cover your back & keep this position until you find something better, she leaves or morphs into a manger or the situation improves, but always always cover your back. |
| Telling It Like It Is | Posted – 7/8/2007 4:34:15 AM | show profile | email poster KEEP ASKING QUESTIONS, ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU ARE KNEW You have your method of working & she has hers...or not. The point is, in reading your response to some of us, I see that she is not giving you enough info. When I'm given a project, I always always arrive with a pen & pad in hand. Glue it to your hip if you have to. Then write down what the assignment is & ask questions: graphs w/ that? should I talk to the PR department for info? will events be involved? should I go to finance or production for estimates & include them? How soon do you want this completed? Ask, ask, ask: Is there anything else you would like w/ this? Burger, fries? Seriously you have to ask or else you will not get answers or learn. Then when you submit your data, report, project, whatever, at least you tried to hit as many bases as possible. She will edit what you have, that is always done. She will have new insight as this is new material. Wheter you are working on an RFP or a story, there will be changes. My experience is that either the manager x's out & side bars what they want or if more departmental info is needed, they will have a departmental meeting, if it is an RFP. Still cover your back & put out resumes because if she is suffering from I CANNOT MAKE MY MIND UP I T I S, then you will not complete things. And watch it when asking co-workers about how they work w/ her, because if this does work out, you are knew & you do not want this biting you. |
| Telling It Like It Is | Posted – 7/8/2007 4:36:29 AM | show profile | email poster I meant NEW, NOT KNEW OOOPS! |
| BBelinda | Posted – 7/8/2007 11:50:24 AM | show profile It's said that it takes new bosses quite a while to settle into the role -- two years' minimum. You may need to help your boss to see that you're her helper and ally who's there to make her look good (which is what all employees do for all bosses!). A lot of people get into supervisory roles without training, so they really don't know how to delegate, train people themselves or handle employees. It may help to look at this as your opportunity to train her to be your boss -- let her know what you need, and let her perform, just as if *she* worked for *you,* since you're her first and only employee. You'll never let on that you're molding her, of course, but I guarantee that, gently and judiciously done, you'll both benefit from this approach. |
| Sag1217 | Posted – 7/9/2007 11:41:10 AM | show profile Per everyone's advice, I've been asking tons of questions. The funny thing is, I am starting to feel like I'm managaing her, meaning I make the first contact every day, ask what projects she's working on, what can I help with. Biggest problem right now is she's not giving me enough work. Good news is we may be adding another person to our department who would share in her managerment duties. I got to meet with the candidate and our styles (i.e. brief daily meetings, lots of contact with each other) are the same. Could be the answer to my prayers. |
