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Topic: Husbands who don't wear their wedding bands
| Author | Message |
| BBgirl | Posted – 7/6/2007 12:04:52 PM | show profile Hi, all--I'm working on a magazine article about women whose husbands don't/won't wear their wedding bands for whatever reason. I'm looking for women to be featured in the article--their experiences, & how they feel about the situation (i.e. does it bother them, or are they okay w/ it?) If you've experienced this & would like to possibly be featured, email me at brown.vee2007@gmail.com w/ your contact info & your thoughts on the situation. Thanks! |
| seeattleme | Posted – 7/6/2007 7:38:26 PM | show profile Sometimes I don't wear my wedding bad--esp in 108 degree heat or when I'm swimming and running all day. I forget to put it back on. I'm a woman. |
| writesonwater | Posted – 7/7/2007 11:58:30 AM | show profile You might check out the article in today's papers about the mayor of LA who's having an affair with an anchorwoman. He stopped wearing his two years ago -- I believe the article mentioned it was because he'd lost weight. |
| seeattleme | Posted – 7/8/2007 1:48:01 AM | show profile I'm sure his girlfriend knew he was married. He was the mayor, and she was a reporter. Then again, like those fancy financial journalists do at Today, maybe all her stuff was "with additional reporting by"...an assistant. She just wrote the "All about me isn't it " lede and personal anecdote-y conclusion. so professional. Nonetheless the tan line is still there for months, often years. |
| reporterwriter | Posted – 7/8/2007 11:52:32 AM | show profile If your husband works in a machine shop or construction, you're probably happy he doesn't wear a wedding band. He's a man who'll come home with all his fingers. |
| Hit Me | Posted – 7/8/2007 9:24:58 PM | show profile My Husband wore his ring for about an hour. Then he took it off because it was uncomfortable, irritating and rash inducing. He hasn't put it on since, and we have been married for 12 years. We joke that wearing his ring would make him a dangerous chick magnet. I have never considered his wearing or not wearing his ring a sign of his commitment, nor do I care if it takes a while for people to figure out his marital status. Coincidentally, I am not wearing mine right now either, because a prong broke a while back. I am in no hurry to get it repaired as I love wearing my funky, unconventional engagement ring again. My diamond is nice (ok, very nice), but there is something subversive and fun about not wearing a symbol that strangers may use to judge (often incorrectly) my socio-economic status. The shape of my tan line is a little different this summer and I like it. |
| newbie | Posted – 7/9/2007 11:54:20 AM | show profile Hmmm... I've inadvertently been on dates with three married men because of this. Unfortunately, not everyone who goes ring-less is doing so to keep all his fingers... So strange to have to ask a man who's asking you out if he's married, but that seems to be the trend, at least in my life. |
| Mag Girl | Posted – 7/9/2007 1:51:07 PM | show profile newbie, how awful! So when/how did you find out the men were married? Did they offer up that information freely? |
| keltoi2 | Posted – 7/9/2007 3:08:52 PM | show profile newbie, I trust you now confirm marital status before accepting date offers. |
| newbie | Posted – 7/10/2007 10:40:14 AM | show profile After a lovely dinner, one guy told me he was separated, then after date two told me that by separated he had meant separated emotionally, not physically or legally. Another guy took me out for a fun day at the beach, then told me that he and his wife allowed one another to have crushes on other people--essentially start an emotional, though not physical relationship. Cool, but not my cup of tea, so I walked. The third guy really got to me. He was the first, so I hadn't yet realized this could happen. We actually went on six dates. There was really nothing suspicious--he called and texted at all hours, we stayed out late when we went out--except that we never went home together, just made out at a lot of bars. I was suspicious but hoping there was a good explanation. On our final date he goofed and said something about his in-laws--I pushed and he kept saying it's complicated... Finally he said he and his wife were happily married, but that they were no longer romantically involved with one another, just with other people. He said she was okay with it, which may be true, but I sure wasn't. So... now I'm back to dating friends of friends. And all the random's get the third degree right off the bat. |
| JimmyG | Posted – 7/10/2007 12:09:23 PM | show profile | email poster I've never been accustomed to wearing jewelry, so I immediately started fiddling with my wedding ring the day after the ceremony. Used to spin it on my desk when I was bored, manipulate it between my fingers and often stick it in my shirt pocket when my ring finger got itchy and sweaty. One day I left it tucked away in a shirt that found its way to the cleaners; luckily the owner found it before tossing the shirt into the big washing machine and had it ready for me when I ran in panicky later that day looking for it. After getting the expected rant from my spouse for almost losing it ("that ring was blessed by a Priest for Christ's sake..."), we both decided it was in my best interest to leave it at home when I went to the office. I now mostly leave it in its little orb-like box, taking it out on occasion to wear when we're out together. I almost never wear the ring, but I'm certainly not trolling for action or anything because of it. |
| pippapasses64 | Posted – 7/10/2007 1:15:43 PM | show profile Just an aside I'm amazed at how many men try to pull that line, "Yes I'm married, but my wife is ok with my seeing other women." Let me tell you, his wife is almost NEVER ok with it. Trust me. |
| maggiekb | Posted – 7/13/2007 6:40:28 PM | show profile welll.... Actually, you'd be surprised how many couples are consensually non-monogamous. If a guy tells you that, and you're otherwise cool with the situation, I'd ask to meet (or at least talk to) his wife. I'm sure there are plenty of guys full of shit on that one, but there are some who are being completely honest. As for the ring. My husband doesn't wear his. He has big ol' knuckles and once he has a ring big enough to get over them, it doesn't fit the finger behind it and starts to chaff. The only time it bothers me is when people ask me about it and act like I'm supposed to be pissed off and suspicious. Then it's not so much him and his ring bothering me. It's the other people who are making me uncomfortable. |
| scribechick | Posted – 7/16/2007 3:05:55 PM | show profile I'm amazed at how many men try to pull that line, "Yes I'm married, but my wife is ok with my seeing other women." Yep, yesterday swam and a cute Italian tourist came on to me-- very strong. Funny, said the same thing as above, almost. She was asleep in the hotel room--he wanted to "play" in the hot tub, etc. Shocking. He was relentless. Flattered but don't do the married men thingy. |
| seeattleme | Posted – 7/17/2007 1:40:01 AM | show profile The "we're separated emotionally, but not physically or legally" line is priceless. And yet so sadly predictable. |
| Brena | Posted – 7/17/2007 8:12:27 AM | show profile In my early 20s, I went out with a guy for six months before I found out he was married. In fact, without my knowledge, he dumped his wife for me. I ended up dumping him and told him that I could never marry a man who cheated on his wife. I've always thought, if they cheat with you, they'd cheat on you; it showed character. With that said, I'd flip out if my husband didn't wear his wedding band. He takes it off at night because he says his finger swells. He forgot to put it on one day when he went to work. I was livid! He never "forgot" again. I never take my ring off, only when I shower. |
