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Topic: Stepping out after your employer screws you...
| Author | Message |
| Magazine Mania | Posted – 7/18/2007 9:23:25 PM | show profile I'm interested to know how many of you have left full-time jobs and pursued the freelance thing after being fed up with an employer who didn't appreciate, acknowledge or properly compensate you for what you brought to the organization? I have been working at the same place for five years and am at the point where I'm now contemplating leaving for a part-time job at a marketing agency. I'd be sacrificing half my current salary, so the very thought makes me feel that I must be insane. On the other hand, I feel working part-time would allow me the time to pursue freelance projects more...and I'd be more accessible to my child. More importanly, I need peace (morale is horrible at my current job and I don't anticipate this will be chaning anytime soon as long as certain people are in leadership positions). I am married and my spouse brings home a nice salary, so I do have an extra income to rely on. If you have stepped out on faith, do you have regrets...or was walking away from a bad job the best thing you could've ever done? |
| WordyBird | Posted – 7/18/2007 10:25:22 PM | show profile Wow, I wonder if we work for the same place! Heh. Let's just say that I have a date in mind to relocate, and I'm doing so without anything lined up (so far--getting calls for interviews). I don't have any extra income to rely on, though. Yes, it's that bad! So, I, too, am interested in how it worked out for other folks. |
| writesonwater | Posted – 7/18/2007 10:46:14 PM | show profile | email poster I left a full-time job as an EIC of a regional mag group to pursue freelancing. It was a very good thing for me, even though I made less money. My time was my own, I wasn't working ridiculous hours etc. I finally realized there would be no change forthcoming (it was a stressed-out little organization) so in order to get peace and actually not continue whining about what I couldn't change I left. It was the best thing for me -- I never would have just got into writing books and magazine articles otherwise, and I love that. My husband makes decent money, so that made it easier, but I still have to provide income to make the family's world go round -- otherwise, I'd just do books. If it feels right and it can be managed financially, I'd say go for it. |
| writesonwater | Posted – 7/18/2007 10:48:18 PM | show profile | email poster If you've seen Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, the part where he has to make a "leap of faith" and step out where there doesn't appear to be a path across a precipice? That's what it was like for me. I took a deep breath and walked. Then I panicked slightly before working what I knew to be true -- there was a market for my work. Or multiple markets -- and I had to find them. I did. |
| seeattleme | Posted – 7/18/2007 11:35:12 PM | show profile I think the problem with a lot of people in this (or any) industry is that people simply take their jobs too seriously. That's the problem with having a job you love, creating a product you love, that you become emotionally and psychologically attached (coal miners work under deplorable conditions, and don't just quit due to demoralization--usually they can't afford to; and firefighters work stressful conditions with low pay and yet do it for years and often commit suicide or have psychological issues when they retire). There's something about this industry--journalism, magazine writing, whathaveyou--that people take on as their identity, and because there isn't the moral satisfaction or hero-worship thatcomes with the job (as with firefighters or cops), because at its base it is loathed and distrusted by many (journalism) and completely silly and superficial and mocked by most (magazine work, particularily fashion magazine work), the lack of morale on the job, the back-biting, the disloyalty, the rewarding of ass-kissers over work ethic, originality and smarts, and the low pay cause people to take a bad day (or a string of which) at work very very very personally. When you have people like the EIC of Cosmo --COSMO!!!!!?????--saying trite things like "go big or go home" to define a magazine writer/editor's success (never mind motherhood, taking care of a sick parent, going home to help a loved one through cancer or a sibling through college or a bad bad divorce, eating disorder, whathaveyou)--COSMO, which is so off the charts riduled it's almost craziness, yet she makes what? 3 mill a year?????? Let's just say people in this industry need a kid, a group of friends NOT in the indursty, a spouse who's an engineer or something else grounded and boring like that, or even a life-threatening illness to make them realize there's more to life that YOUR JOB. Once you realize this, and I speak from experience, once you have other things to worry about, the crap at work will just roll off your back. And the biggest benefit ? You'll be so much better at your job once you allot it to the appropriate place in your life. Way behind your self, your spouse or significant other, your family, your health, your spirituality, your weekends and how you spend them. |
| dribbledrive1 | Posted – 7/19/2007 12:30:25 AM | show profile Ironically, the less I care, the more I make. --I think the problem with a lot of people in this (or any) industry is that people simply take their jobs too seriously. That's the problem with having a job you love, creating a product you love, that you become emotionally and psychologically attached -- |
| hlcook | Posted – 7/19/2007 12:56:57 AM | show profile | email poster GraniteGirl I couldn't agree more. As I currently contemplate a return to paid employment while my husband builds his business... I am reminded how much ego is wrapped up in what I say I do. |
| writesonwater | Posted – 7/19/2007 1:09:56 AM | show profile Dribble, that's that blase attitude employers seem to thrive on. In the movie Office Space, the main character (not realizing he's been long-term hypnotized) starts acting like he just doesn't give a flip, and his bosses go for it, big time. Maybe it's that, like the song says, "If you don't respect yourself ain't nobody gonna give a hoot for you." |
| seeattleme | Posted – 7/19/2007 3:48:01 AM | show profile or when you stop caring about how other people SEE you as an emplyee and just concentrate on getting the work done so you can get out of there and enjoy life--life that you will enjoy regardless because you have a family and children and pets and hobbies and all that stuff--you perform better. And if you don't, you don't, it's true, give a flip becasue you've got other more imporatnt things to worry about. Like the family and the kids and the pets and your health. A job pays the bills. Get it straight. It's not who you are, and your boss and coworkers are hardly the final say on what's worthwhile about you. The sooner you stop making your career your life, and just make it your job and part of your life, not even the biggest part, you'll shine. It's like failing in high school or swearing off dating. practically a guaranteed formula for success. And it's just so pathetic to be so wrapped up in your job. The saddest thing I've ever seen is a divorce involvinmg two small children and a workaholic. Sad. Very Sad. I overheard my sevety three year old dad talking to my husband the other day. You know what he said? "I wish I'd had spent more time with my kids. That's my biggest regret." People don't lie on their deathbeds muttering, "I wish my boss had promoted me more often. I wish I'd spent more time at work." Never happens. |
| Bleak Spouse | Posted – 7/19/2007 5:58:45 AM | show profile granite: But a lot of who we are is defined by our career. It's what you put most of your energy into in your adult life, usually not by choice, but it's still where your energy has to be focused. |
| princess | Posted – 7/19/2007 10:10:59 AM | show profile I quit a job several years ago without having one to go to. Scariest thing I ever did?I was searching at the time, hoping I'd find something and then hand in my notice. But I got pushed over the edge and it was either quit or have a breakdown. Best thing I ever did. My blood pressure plummeted back to healthy levels (!) and I felt this serene sense of calm as I explained it to my boss. I landed some short-term freelance work that lasted for about 2 months after leaving. While freelancing, I was hired for the job I have now. I wasn't married or with children then - I remember telling my family that I'd make sure my dog wouldn't starve! But you're in a better position than most with your husband's income, so I'd go for it. Especially for your child's sake. |
| caitlinkelly | Posted – 7/19/2007 10:21:26 AM | show profile The fetishizing of work/career/title is peculiarly American, and this board is U.S.-dominated. Well-paid and ambitious people in other countries and cultures are able to keep their lives filled with family, friends, other interests and 3-6 weeks' vacation a year, minus Blackberry. If you choose to make your job your entire identity, fine, but lots of people don't and they are often a lot happier than those having panic attacks if they're not getting every single emotional pleasure from their work. I walked out of one toxic job to freelance with no additional income source. It was well worth it to regain sanity and peace. It comes down to what you value most. |
| foodlit | Posted – 7/19/2007 11:11:58 AM | show profile I've noticed that people often make work personal when it's not. There's a saying that I think is very true, 'Nothing personal, just business'. Meaning that things that happen at work often have nothing to do with individuals personally, but are rather just business decisions. If people can step back and not invest themselves so personally in the workplace dramas, they may be far happier. Just focus on the work, and don't take the angst home with you. As an example, I left a very toxic work environment several years ago, but I'd been with the company for ten years, and it was only in the last few years that the culture changed drastically, but still it was hard for me to leave. When I finally did, and went on my own, it was like a huge weight was lifted.....and I had no idea what a role stress plays on the body...within a few weeks, my nerves were totally calm, and the backaches that had been plaguing me for ages were totally gone! |
| karen23 | Posted – 7/19/2007 11:28:47 AM | show profile | email poster The timing on this post is pretty amazing. I have been a sole prop for 7 years, doing PR for over a decade, and am completely ready to get out completely and go back to school and refocus my energy on a career in health and wellness. It is the most frightening decision I think I have ever made. Starting my own PR business was an easier gamble. But after spending a year exploring other options within PR, I realized that the insanity would pretty much be the same even in a corp environment. The way the PR world "works" now is really on a 24 hour cycle, and if you are not in the office, or attached to a blackberry or cell phone, you are just not competitive in the field. For a long time I thought it was just me being obsessive, and I think to a point it still may be, but the number of phone calls and emails I receive from journalists during non-biz hours (esp. weekends) has gone up considerably the past few years, and these are all calls and emails they expect to be returned within 24 hours--things that cannot wait until Monday morning. It was fine when I was 25 and single, but with a husband and kid now, I just want a career that I can leave at the end of the day, and be able to have complete and total days off and maybe even a vacation now and then. Over the past couple of years, between the husband and new baby and my mother getting sick and going into a nursing home, my priorities have changed. I realized that if I continue in this field, I will be a physical and psychological mess in 15 more years. Now it is more important to me to raise my daughter and focus on a healthy lifestyle for her, my husband and myself. So, that said, if anyone wants to pick up a lease on a good Canon copier and a pitney bowes mail machine and a pb folder-stuffer, feel free to email me! |
| WordyBird | Posted – 7/19/2007 11:50:25 AM | show profile The trick is in finding what stresses you, methinks. I *know* the leap is going to stress me out a bit, as is the financial instability. Building on what WOW said, I'm probably going to have more than one moment of panic. But, as WOW noted, it can lead to things you might otherwise not have done. Personally, if I end up freelancing, I'm going to stick with editing, copyediting, and proofreading, and put my creative energies into the novel manuscript that's collecting dust in a drawer. GraniteGirl and others have point about identities being wrapped up in what one does for a living. But where I live, one of the first things someone asks you when you're introduced is "What do you do?" My city is notorious for it, because everyone here has 16 degrees and 43 letters after their names. Also, if you work in the non-profit sector, your work is part of who you are because (usually) you believe in the cause you're working for. You take the lower salary (but great benefits) because you believe in what the organization is doing. And not for nothing, but you do spend most of your waking hours at work. If you're in a toxic environment, it will wear on you, I don't care how many coping techniques you have. (Conversely, if you're in a great working environment, it can be a haven and work can be an escape if other areas of life are troubling you.) But here's something to chew on: I freelanced full-time for a little while between jobs, back in my late 20s. When people asked and I told them, they would say, "Oh, so you don't have a REAL job." It drove me batty. Well, I'm a little bit older now, so I don't care what others think. I just don't want to work in an evironment where I can't actually get my work done because of all the tom-foolery with meetings, reorganizations, staff turnover, and assorted other disruptions that suck up the day. |
| candylilacs | Posted – 7/19/2007 2:49:11 PM | show profile I agree with getting out of a toxic place. In the long run, you won't regret that, no matter what the pay was. However, getting your freelance clients in line takes easily a year -- at least it did for me. I jumped blindly into it, part-time and contracted at a few places, but mainly relied on freelance material to pay the bills and my mortgage. First six months was *tough* but after the first year, things went OK, after two years, I was starting to make significant money. I work at a daily, I don't work in NYC and I have a spouse who works in IT. (I would never marry a journalist, I wanted a child with some mathematic ability.) My job gives me a lot of free time and a flexible schedule that create a positive life/work balance. The higher-ups express appreciation (although usually to other people, not to you but you do overhear it from time to time) and everyone concentrates on what's in front of them not how to stab people in the back. It's the only place I've ever been (and I've worked at several dailies, including metros) where my supervisor looks out for the interests of his employees as well as his own job. Seriously, the only way I'm leaving this job is if they get rid of me. . ------ http://www.mswritesguide.blogspot.com |
| dribbledrive1 | Posted – 7/19/2007 3:02:43 PM | show profile It probably drove you batty because you agreed with them, and only saw freelancing as a stopgate until you found a full-time job. If are really running a writing business, and see it as a business, I think you tend to present yourself to people in a different way and don't get that reaction. I have been freelancing fulltime for about 15 years and it's been well over a decade since anyone has said to me, even jokingly, "oh, you don't have a real job." But I rarely use the phrase "freelance writer." When people ask what I do, I generally just say I write for a living. --But here's something to chew on: I freelanced full-time for a little while between jobs, back in my late 20s. When people asked and I told them, they would say, "Oh, so you don't have a REAL job." It drove me batty.-- |
| seeattleme | Posted – 7/19/2007 3:22:34 PM | show profile Bleak Spouse, no sorry, you are NOT defined by your carer. Check out the tombstones in any graveyard to see how you are defined. Go back and read whatwas written about those who died in 9/11. Rarely does anything mention their careers. A job is a job. I love to write. I write. I am a writer, I guess. But those who matter to me--who I matter to, do not think of me as a writer. They think of me as a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend. EVen my colleagues--the ones who will be there til the day I die. think of me first as a friend. That is what defines you, what you do in your life with and for others. That is who you are. Gandhi was a lawyer. That did not define him. Moses was a shepherd. That did not define him. Jesus was a --well, shit, what the hell was he? That did not define him. It's what we do for and with others that defines us, and I guess that makes us all teachers. We are defined by how well we teach. We are remembered byu what we taught others about life. If you want to teach others to suck up to bosses and be really good at writing blurbs about "top ten ways to trim Thighs", well, I guess that's how you'll be remembered. Lucky you. |
| writesonwater | Posted – 7/19/2007 5:02:36 PM | show profile | email poster How you present yourself affects how you are viewed; unfortunately, that's how public perception works. I do this much better now than when I freelanced in my 30s. I say "I'm a writer." Asked for more information, I say "My main clients are national magazines and the (local big daily newspaper). I had a book come out last year, and I'm working on two more." If they still want more information, I cite the magazines, which they've heard of, and a bit about the book. I have a card that says "writer" and one that says "author". Your confidence will help. |
| seeattleme | Posted – 7/19/2007 6:15:31 PM | show profile In this business, as a writer, you're as good as your last byline. Period. Forget the impression. Editors want good writers. If you're an editor, you're as good as your last story/section/scoop. Stop getting those and you can come in in three piece suits and say yes'm and no'm and yes sir and no sir and brownnose all you like. STop getting the stories and the scoops and you are history. End of story. Better have an excellent family and pretty awesome supportinve significant other to come hom to. As well as a pretty enthralling and relaxing hobby. |
| seeattleme | Posted – 7/19/2007 6:16:00 PM | show profile In this business, as a writer, you're as good as your last byline. Period. Forget the impression. Editors want good writers. If you're an editor, you're as good as your last story/section/scoop. Stop getting those and you can come in in three piece suits and say yes'm and no'm and yes sir and no sir and brownnose all you like. STop getting the stories and the scoops and you are history. End of story. Better have an excellent family and pretty awesome supportinve significant other to come hom to. As well as a pretty enthralling and relaxing hobby. |
| Bleak Spouse | Posted – 7/19/2007 7:20:35 PM | show profile granite: How about Van Gogh, Dostoyevsky, Picasso, Joyce, Beckett, Pollock, Hemingway, Ellison, etc.: Were they defined by their careers? Yes, I think they were. So it really depends on what you do for work. If you deliver pizzas chances are you don't let that define you as a person, but if you're Tolstoy and you just completed War and Peace, sure you'd be happy to be called a "writer." Or Van Gogh, sure he didn't make any money, but painting was his entire life after age 27. And I'm not so sure that what we do for other people is what defines us. Or our friendships, family relationships, etc. That's something that the majority of people would say life is about, but who the hell really knows? If you enjoy spending time with friends and family, if that's what makes you happy, sure that's what life's about. But a lot of people are forced to get away from family for their own sanity, to start a new life away from dysfunction. So I think there's a lot of different things a person can focus their life on to make them happy. Look at Van Gogh again -- painting made him so happy that his heart was overflowing with such joy that he had to put a bullet through it. |
| writesonwater | Posted – 7/19/2007 8:38:36 PM | show profile Granite, I got the impression Mania was talking about how she presented herself in public, not to prospective editors. Of course, with editors your work speaks for itself. However, you still need to present yourself and your work with a meaasure of confidence. Really. I'm sure you use confidence when projecting to a prospective employer or editor, right? |
| Magazine Mania | Posted – 7/19/2007 9:07:15 PM | show profile Wow...these responses were great and really helpful in helping me to sort some things out. Granitegirl - you really hit it for me. The truth is, I HAVE been wrapped up in my job and loving what I do, but the reality is that it is JUST a job, and to use a word that I saw in several messages, it's a job in a "TOXIC" work environment. Well, I sent my resume to the agency a few nights ago and they called today and said they were pretty much ready to hire me. I have an interview, which I'm looking forward to. At the same time, though, I must admit that I'm still not certain what decision I'll make. It's funny - two nights ago when I applied for the job I had a moment of clarity and thought if they call me, I'm definately going to accept. Now, I find myself stuck on the what if's! I guess I'll just have to go in and see what kind of vibe I pick up and just take it from there. Someone on the board said you have to decide what's important to you. On my current job, a large part of my discontent has dealt with money (or lack of), but yet I'm willing to interview for a lower paying job. The irony! So, maybe it really is my SANITY that is important to me (and my family, of course). I've had trouble sleeping for about a year now...and I know a large part of this has to do with my mind being boggled with the stressors on my job. It's time to start choosing me again...I don't want to look back and have regrets for time wasted. |
| Magazine Mania | Posted – 7/19/2007 9:10:41 PM | show profile Wordybirdy - did you save money before deciding to relocate? |
