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Topic: Pissiness
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| nellie bly | Posted – 7/26/2007 6:00:22 PM | show profile I frequent a couple of other forums (not media-related) where mgmt tries to keep the discourse on track by suspending members who insult other posters and other bad behavior. Suspensions are usually just for a few days, yet the same people seem to get suspended over and over again. Once in a while someone gets banished. Of course those boards have moderators policing what's okay to say and what's not. I prefer pissiness any day. Hard to imagine such a system on mediabistro, though I recall reading a post that they were looking for moderators, so perhaps the forums will be a bit kinder and gentler in the future. |
| writesonwater | Posted – 7/26/2007 6:49:32 PM | show profile It's okay to be pissy, if that's your trademark style. Say it with pride -- I'm a Hunter S. Thompson, a rogue on a snark mission. May I suggest laying off the caps, which can come across as yelling at someone to get off their ass, and put a smiley face ;) after you say it, so people don't think you're hyperdefensive or hyperaggressive. Of course, some people don't care, and that's your prerogative. I got it! ;) Recreational or not, it's a community -- look at the fun we have tracking each other's answers to Janetblueeyes' questions each week. Or maybe the community part of it isn't a big deal to some people. I don't mind running across the familiar cranky curmudgeons, rapier wits and baiting trolls, as long as they make the occasional useful contribution. And if I've hurt anyone's feelings, I apologize. I just think ... "Why can't we all just get along??" ;) I'll get down from my high horse soap box now. Shit, that felt better ;) |
| mailbag | Posted – 7/26/2007 9:59:40 PM | show profile | email poster writesonwater One word you mentioned to describe MB is "community," which is something I can't say I feel here. I correspond with some from here online - yes, but can't even call them part of my living world. I think it is an interesting take though. Maybe the definition of community has changed (the Applebee's book suggest this too.) Maybe "online community" has become the place people come to 'dump their shit.' Slap people virtually to avoid kicking ol' Rover in the living room. I don't like that change however -- but leads to point No.2 about being anon in a community. I don't consider myself anon here - and there are some indeed who link to their sites at the bottom of each post - I'm not here to promote my personal website though. I've used my full name in threads - the idea was just a coincidence since it was the e-mail ID I use on my site. (There was no thought whatsoever in mailbag, that is just one box the ISP provided.) Couldn't post in good conscience by hiding, just as one can't be quiet in a real community and expect returns. More than that though, my purpose was to find community and perhaps meet real people of alike mind/spirit/whatever. Pissy or not. lol. |
| UGoGirl | Posted – 7/26/2007 10:06:47 PM | show profile But mailbag, don't you (kind of at least) work for yourself? If you work for yourself, you have a lot more freedom to say whatever you want to say. Those of us with employers realize at some point we may need to find new employers and who knows what they could deduce from us if we used our real names? I don't think I'd necessarily want everyone I work with now or a future employer to know all the far out things I sometimes bring up here. |
| JCB | Posted – 7/27/2007 3:57:54 AM | show profile We all have a work self and a real self, and really, no one at work needs to know ALL the parts of our REAL self. It's irrelevant. If you do a kick-ass job, it doesn't matter what you're doing on the weekends. It's great if you want to use your real name here, but it's the beauty of cyberspace that we can be much freer, and in a sense much realer, online than we are able to be in the workplace. There are so many things we must all suppress about ourselves in order to make the workplace function properly. Cyberspace releases us from those shackles and lets us run wild. If we wanted to discuss this stuff in person, we'd go to conventions and seminars and the like. This offers us an alternative. The chaos and anarchy of online interaction is what makes it so stimulating. Applying real-world standards of "civility" to such a medium would strip it of some of its most vital and essential elements. If you think about what the TRUE meaning of "freedom" is, you have to accept that not all of it is gonna be stuff you like. That's why they always say freedom comes at a price. Be willing to pay it, or move on. |
| writesonwater | Posted – 7/27/2007 4:00:49 AM | show profile If you don't know who people really are, can it be a community? Hopefully, it's not the only social circle we move in, but yes, I think it's a community. We have identities -- anonymous names not linked to the publications we work for, but our personalities come out, I think, and the anonymity allows people to be more frank, perhaps, than they otherwise would with total strangers from across the country. We help each other, there are sympathies expressed, there are spats as egos bump up against each other. Sounds like a community to me! |
| caitlinkelly | Posted – 7/27/2007 10:48:57 AM | show profile wow, while this may be a community, it often lacks the reciprocity and helpfulness of real-life community, where pissy behavior is clearly seen, heard and noted -- whether that's at church or synagogue, your yoga class and/or neighborhood bar, whatever. Those who are fairly consistently smart, helpful and kind, in the real world, are often repaid with helpful kindness while the pissy ragers get little beyond scorn or distance. In the real world you can be a jerk occasionally and perhaps, for a while, retain some community acceptance or welcome, but only online does it seem to offer negative reinforcement...the uglier the flame wars, the longer the thread...Nasty little kids get time-outs (i.e. social isolation) while nasty adults on-line get enormous amounts of attention. Funny. Most of us do belong to multiple communities. I assume, in my dinosaurish old-media style, that one also brings to each of those a fairly consistent set of behaviors -- with the workplace being the least likely to allow us to be "ourselves" in whatever full flaming nastiness and weirdness. So if this is id central, I guess it serves that function. It's the least attractive part of any such BB to me. Clearly it's considered extremely cool and attractive now to say and do things on-line that you wouldn't do "in person." |
| mailbag | Posted – 7/27/2007 3:26:07 PM | show profile | email poster Many reasons to be pissed Am I the only guy posting on this thread? Ugo - my real legal name is here and on the site you've visited yes. That is not the professional name I use at work; however, that too isn't really hidden for someone with a little probing could just check WHOIS and find I'm 'that same' person. lol. Aside from that, how I post here, and what I say here, is exactly who I am with family, friends, and at work. I know I am seen by many as being politically incorrect. (Then again why does that not hurt others, say Anne Coutler? Hell, I'm not even that bad.) But during that layoff year I made the choice between chilling out and not say anything, or damn straight tell it like it is and as I see it. You know which way I chose... had I picked silence it would just be heart attack time. Maybe I indeed piss away 99.999999% of any possible job opportunity with my approach -- interestingly enough though the IT world loves my approach (they call it advocacy.) It seems to me the media world is against being outspoken in anyway. (I should really go back to IT.) Nonetheless -- here is a question I put out there: There is pissy, and there is PISSY/RUDE/obnoxious... but why is there no tolerance (even professionally) for a little pissy? Is this a USA-thing that we have to pretend perfection? Are we just not allowed in public to hold an opinion? Damn -- ugo you more than most (well CK too) fully understand the economic issues we face. That alone imo should be making all of us who aren't in the wealthy class PISSED. What about dictator Bush? That too is enough to be PISSED. Financial pressures, inflation, fear of losing a job -- we are suppose to pretend perfection and show no emotional outrage for the state of our affairs? Disconnect The more I think about this anon issue... the more I realize that the reason many of these USA issues never seem solved is that there is no community banding together and marching on the White House (or whatever march on Circuit City for axing employees.) This in comparison to the millions of message boards allowing rants from the safety of one's home. Lots of people can get pissed - but nothing ever takes place to resolve the issues. |
| keltoi2 | Posted – 7/27/2007 3:36:25 PM | show profile Mailbag, I take pissy in this context to be uncivil, not angry. Heck, anyone who reads my posts about those Masters of Disaster in the White House can tell I'm angry. But call me old-school, but I think people can be angry, can feel strongly about things, and can argue their case forcefully and still behave themselves. And PS, I'm a guy too. |
| granitegirl | Posted – 7/27/2007 5:54:21 PM | show profile caitlin, if you think this board is not helpful. Sorry, I seriously beg to differ, Do your research. Reread these posts. There is plenty of valuable information. You just need to have a brain in your head and some ability to analyze the useful from the useless to be able to decifer it. Seriously, and I mean this in the most unoffensive way possible-- IS EVERYONE ON THIS BOARD GODDAMN FRIGGIN' MENTALLY CHALLENGED??? |
| Vox-o | Posted – 7/27/2007 6:29:20 PM | show profile *laughs* granitegirl, caitlin has been around this board for a long, long time and she has a verifiable career. Your last post to her on this thread - especially after reading your ohters - makes you look silly. |
| writesonwater | Posted – 7/27/2007 10:00:33 PM | show profile In fact, Caitlin's advice, and Mailbags, and Ugos and Keltois, and some of these longtime contributors (who don't have to change their identities from people getting pissed back at them) is some of the best, most balanced, helpful and generous on this board. And they may get indignant, concerned or downright righteous angry, but they can do it without an excess of caps, exclamation points and vitriol. Sure, we're more free with our opinions on here -- but I'm guessing that some of us wouldn't be embarrassed by our rants and posts if an employer guessed who we were. There's a distinct difference between a rant and an angermanagement issue, and of course, a spectrum of states in between. |
| JCB | Posted – 7/28/2007 4:16:09 AM | show profile "Pissy" is so subjective. What is this, a sorority function? Are we all gonna have to start pinky-swearing now? To even complain about "pissiness" reeks of oversensitivity. In this biz, and a hell of a lot of others, ya gotta grow some major balls. Unless you're working for, I don't know, House and Garden or somesuch. Seriously, discussions about "pissiness" belong in school, not among seasoned (adult) professionals. |
| mailbag | Posted – 7/28/2007 4:46:30 AM | show profile | email poster pissy beats perfection Yes, JCB and Kelt I guess we all do have different ideas on pissy don't we? :-) Now, maybe this just reflects what I already posted about my own b.g....but I prefer a little pissy attitude to "pretend perfection" for a team member. Those who come across as never having made a mistake, do not impress me for a reporter position. Recognizing one's mistakes and owning them impress me far more and imo reflect a balanced professional. granitegirl, I think your post reflects what this thread is about. Why single out CK? She voiced her opinion, to which I concur 100% btw, but in re-reading her post I don't see where she said this board wasn't helpful. |
| WinonaWriter | Posted – 8/1/2007 12:28:06 PM | show profile JCB, If you're so above discussions of "pissiness," then why the hell are you on this board discussing it? I mean really... |
| WinonaWriter | Posted – 8/1/2007 12:44:02 PM | show profile JCB, really -- if you're so above discussions of pissiness then why are you even bothering with this thread? Did you just want to remind me/us again that you're tough, and I'm a wimp for even raising the question? I mean really... It reminds me of the comic strip that used to be included in the Archie comic books, with the big brawny guy kicking sand on the "wimpy" regular guy... |
| JCB | Posted – 8/3/2007 12:17:30 AM | show profile Um, I participated to say what I said. Duh...? |
