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Topic: How do I tell someone I'm not interested?
| Author | Message |
| Unemployed-gal | Posted – 10/15/2007 7:48:16 PM | show profile So about two months ago, I ended an exhausting relationship with a guy who generally wasn't all that nice (I think I have a pattern). A few weeks ago, I met this guy who seemed nice, at a book signing. Problem is a) I'm just not over my past relationship, b) I'm not at a place in my life were I can start a new relationship (would like to have a career I can be proud of, for starters) and c) I'm just not into this guy. I've been "forgetting" to return his calls, but he keeps calling/ texting at 1, 2 in the morning, saying things like, "why the f* won't you return my calls?" etc. I'd like to tell him I'm not interested in him, especially someone who calls and curses me out on the phone, but I just don't know how to be mean! And generally: why are there so many weirdo guys in New York City? It's an age-old question... |
| Astera | Posted – 10/15/2007 8:07:10 PM | show profile It's pretty simple. Just say, "I am not interested in you, and I don't want you to contact me anymore." Don't get drawn into any explanations about why you're not interested. Just repeat that you are not interested. Then hang up and ignore any other contact. If he continues to contact you, especially if he starts to use abusive language, you may want to contact the police or change your phone number. ------ www.adventuresofastera.blogspot.com |
| Letterbox | Posted – 10/15/2007 8:23:08 PM | show profile I think this is a good example of what not to do. If you're not ready or not interested, don't ignore the guy and hope he goes away. That's almost the worst thing you can do since many guys are not going to give up that easily (either they're too dense or in denial). The best thing to do is tell him upfront that you're not interested. Brush him off. Don't worry about hurting his feelings. No response at all is worse than an honest but negative response. As for weirdo guys, maybe this guy's got a temper. You may have also encouraged this behavior. You give him your number and decided to call it off without telling him. |
| sue ellen mischke | Posted – 10/15/2007 9:33:18 PM | show profile Tell him you have herpes... |
| UGoGirl | Posted – 10/15/2007 10:37:41 PM | show profile This guy is bad news. Just tell him you're involved.... |
| caitlinkelly | Posted – 10/15/2007 10:43:57 PM | show profile He already sounds disturbingly aggressive. It is a misdemeanor in NY state to use the phone to harass someone; if he keeps it up, keep that in mind. |
| Nikongirl | Posted – 10/15/2007 10:49:46 PM | show profile You do not owe him an explanation, this person sounds abusive and most likely drunk AND abusive to call at that time of night and say such things. >>>he keeps calling/ texting at 1, 2 in the morning, saying things like, "why the f* won't you return my calls?"<<< I would reply to his text (NOT phone call) next time and straight up tell him his behavior and attitude is not something you want to be involved with in any way.... and not to call or text again or it will be considered harassment, for which you can have him charged. Period. Creeps like this are desperate because they are such losers. Stay far, far away from this idiot. I think he could be dangerous. |
| keltoi | Posted – 10/15/2007 11:42:15 PM | show profile gal, the guy needs therapy. As noted above, text him that you're not interested in continuing the relationship and tell him not to contact you any further. Turn off your phone at night (or at least put it in silent mode) so you're not awoken by his calls. Save any messages he leaves. If he keeps up the harassment, tell him you will be contacting the phone company with his messages if he continues. Then do it. And maybe a little fine-tuning of your freak radar is in order. |
| dribbledrive1 | Posted – 10/16/2007 12:03:59 PM | show profile Just tell him: "I am not interested, and please don't contact me again." If he calls after that, I would report him to the police. |
| Bleak Spouse | Posted – 10/16/2007 12:16:25 PM | show profile You just slip out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan. You don?t need to be coy, Roy, just get yourself free. Hop on the bus, Gus. You don?t need to discuss much. Just drop off the key, Lee and get yourself free. |
| keltoi2 | Posted – 10/16/2007 12:23:19 PM | show profile 45 ways left, bleak. |
