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Topic: Paternity leave?
| Author | Message |
| Rocky Mountain Writer | Posted – 11/20/2007 11:08:46 AM | show profile | email poster My boss's wife had twins about a year ago. Since then, he has been working about a 25 hour week to my 50-60 and shifting most of the work to me and my assistant. While I didn't mind in the beginning, I'm starting to get miffed because he's abusing the work policy. It's hard enough to keep my employees motivated because they, too, would like to work less and spend time with their families. He also blocked out the time around every holiday to take off, which means that I can't (One manager must be here at all times -- company policy). He may be more senior, but I have been here 8 times longer than he has, and I'm in danger of losing my pathetic vacation time of 2 weeks in December. I wanted to take off between Christmas and New Years, but he blocked it out for himself because he "has kids to worry about." I'm married, but have no kids (when the heck do I have time to make them--ha ha). I've talked to him, HR, and the company CEO about this to no avail. They all say that I should be understanding of how difficult it is to have twins and the fact that they tried for 5 years to conceive. They agree that I am entitled to take time off, but need to be flexible. Flexible obviously means losing my time because the other weeks I requested off fail during deadlines. I'm at the end of my rope. Does anyone else have a problem like this? |
| Mag Girl | Posted – 11/20/2007 12:28:38 PM | show profile Try formal complaints in writing. But it sounds like you really just need to find a new job if they all have ignored you. |
| nandy | Posted – 11/20/2007 12:58:02 PM | show profile I sympathize. For the past few years, my reportees have all saved some of their vacation time to use over the holidays, and they've come to expect it now. But it means that "I" can't take any then, as someone has to be in the department. It's ironic since my children are younger and I have more relatives visiting than they ever do. It's kind of the flip version of your situation (boss vs subordinates), but it's just as unfair. My boss is no help...she just says "work it out". But what do you do when there IS no work out? I think next year I will plan a trip away and make my reservations, and just tell THEM to work it out. |
| Rocky Mountain Writer | Posted – 11/20/2007 2:22:49 PM | show profile | email poster thanks I think this is a good time for me to leave. I'm burned out from the lack of time off and the excessive hours I've had to endure. Vacation time is about getting work off your mind, and if I can't take it, I may just implode. What really gets me is my boss is Jewish - it's not even his damn religious holiday. He makes a HUGE stink about getting cards that say "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays" to include what he celebrates. It's a sad reason to leave, but it will be worth it to have some time with my husband. I'll try putting it in writing first, but it will make for an uncomfortable working relationship with the bossman. |
| anewstart | Posted – 11/20/2007 2:41:18 PM | show profile I feel your pain... I love children, want to have them one day myself and understand how important it is to spend time with them, etc. However, I recently left a position where I was the only person on my level with no children and it was automatically assumed that I would pick up the parental slack--not just around holiday times either. I think it's a huge problem in the workforce--in my experience, those with children think those without children must have tons of extra time on their hands and no obilgations other than work...so not true! Do others find this to be the case? Best of luck to you. |
| Rocky Mountain Writer | Posted – 11/20/2007 5:33:08 PM | show profile | email poster mls03, you hit the nail on the head. It seems that singles or childless couples are less valuable than those who have little squirts running around the house. I am NOT negating the importance of being there for your kids or the essential need for a flexible schedule, but it is ASSUMED that I or the other singles will be willing to give 200% while only 50% is expected for the others simply because they have to get to Bobby's little league game or Suzie's flute lessons. (I know, too, that it sometimes works against parents when they get passed over for promotions, but that's another post.) My boss openly mocks one of the older designers, part of a childless couple, for making it a point to leave at 6 pm every day and making dinner for her husband every night. How rude is that? |
| ManhattanMatt | Posted – 11/20/2007 8:47:16 PM | show profile Hear hear! I'm also tired of the "but I've got kids" bull$hit argument that always comes up around the holidays. YOUR kids should have ZERO impact on MY ability to take MY vacation ... PERIOD. You chose to have kids. I chose not to. These are private choices made OUTSIDE the workplace. |
| Nikongirl | Posted – 11/20/2007 8:56:44 PM | show profile He is taking advantage of parenthood. I agree with Matt, it should play no part in YOUR vacation time whatsoever. This is only going to get worse. He will be taking off because the twins are sick, or book all holiday vacation time off wayyy ahead so you will not even figure into time off for your own vacation. It sucks when women do this and it sucks when men do this. Start shopping around for a new job for the New Year. |
| Vox-o | Posted – 11/21/2007 10:58:00 PM | show profile I don't have children either, and I too have felt what you are experiencing. That said, he outranks you. That you have been there 8 times longer is irrelevant to the discussion. Your boss can scoop up that time for himself in order to compete on a new paper-hat-making reality fashion show. That's just the way it is. |
| Brena | Posted – 11/22/2007 9:15:37 AM | show profile This happens a lot to my husband with his high pressure job. He gets called in on his days off because we're the only ones who don't have children, so we're "punished." That is so not fair. |
