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Topic: why did you get married?
| Author | Message |
| sue ellen mischke | Posted – 12/12/2007 3:02:08 PM | show profile For me, I conformed... |
| Janetblueyes | Posted – 12/12/2007 3:19:51 PM | show profile I was afraid of being alone. Now I can't wait to be alone. |
| Mag Girl | Posted – 12/12/2007 3:33:47 PM | show profile Because I truly knew I met someone I could spend the rest of my life with, who I absolutely adore and am compatible with, and I wanted the legal protections marriage offers. |
| keltoi2 | Posted – 12/12/2007 3:48:03 PM | show profile Because, after about 25 years of searching, I finally found the woman I was meant to spend my life with. And that woman was the first girl I ever took on a date, almost 30 years before. |
| Nikongirl | Posted – 12/12/2007 4:03:02 PM | show profile I had planned to NEVER get married, I stopped having boyfriends at 15 because they were so annoying, and then whoopsie do, along came my Hoosier, riding out of the midwest on a B3 landing at the Bridle Path in Westhampton NY and stole my heart. I married him 7 months later.....that was nearly 39 years ago now! I luvvvvves him. ;-))) |
| voracious reader | Posted – 12/12/2007 4:26:02 PM | show profile I ask myself that question everyday for the last 29 years! I have no clue. But the bigger question is if I had to do it all over again, would I still marry the same guy? You betcha! Met him at 16, married him at 22, and still have no idea what I was thinking and how I knew he was "the one." |
| seeattleme | Posted – 12/12/2007 6:46:22 PM | show profile After twenty-two years of dating him, the answer to why get married was, "why NOT?" |
| wineaux | Posted – 12/12/2007 9:36:10 PM | show profile I was in love, terribly young and naive, and all the same, it worked out. We've been married 10 years and have two beautiful children. I can't imagine my life without him and we've been through such a tremendous amount of crap, which has really only made our bond stronger. I have to say, though, I really didn't think things through as carefully as a should have in the beginning. It is just serendipitous that he is a good husband and father and that we still are so compatible and have fun together. |
| foto | Posted – 12/12/2007 10:24:54 PM | show profile Marriage as an institution needs to be rethought. So many don't seem to work well. I think a marriage should be like an apartment lease. You sign up for a 5, 10 or 20 year marriage. After its up you can have the option to renew or not renew. |
| Mag Girl | Posted – 12/12/2007 10:38:55 PM | show profile Foto- interesting in theory, but then that also gives you the "temporary apartment" mindset- you don't treat it as well because you know it's technically disposable, and you are always looking for something with better amenities and price to come along... |
| PublicityChick | Posted – 12/12/2007 10:54:35 PM | show profile getting married i'm getting married in 7 months. for us it was a natural progression. we've been together 7 years and lived together in a 300 sq ft apartment for 3. he's my best friend and the person i can't wait to see. we've been through the bad and the very good so far. we complement and bring out the best qualities in each other. he's my partner and i'm his. it's hard work, but it's the best work i'll ever do. |
| foto | Posted – 12/12/2007 10:59:38 PM | show profile I suppose thats true Mag Girl. Why is that a problem? |
| SPF 30 | Posted – 12/13/2007 1:16:36 AM | show profile Foto, you're too funny. Why get married at all, then? |
| foto | Posted – 12/13/2007 7:17:37 AM | show profile Hmmm... |
| keltoi2 | Posted – 12/13/2007 9:45:48 AM | show profile Then the question is, why did so few of our parent's, or in the case of the under-30s, grandparent's generation divorce? Yes, divorce was more difficult to get, but it was possible. Yet, even though for the most part they had less ideal circumstances and far less money than we do today, our generation is divorcing at a rate of about 50% and their generation was a fraction of that. Is our generation more spoiled? Expectations too high? Patience too low? Or do we just have shorter attention spans? |
| PublicityChick | Posted – 12/13/2007 1:53:50 PM | show profile i think it's because we're a wasteful cuture that thrives on instant gratification. if we don't like something, we just throw it away instead of working on it. that's my 2 cents anyway. |
| catlondon | Posted – 12/13/2007 2:09:58 PM | show profile Both sets of my grandparents divorced and one set of my great-grandparents divorced. My parents didn't divorce, but they spent most of their marriage 1000 miles apart. All of my aunts, uncles, and cousins (with the exception of one set of aunt/uncle, and one set of cousins) have been divorced multiple times. My older brother should get divorced but won't. I came close to getting married but thankfully didn't and have since lost interest in ever being married. I think the government should offer civil unions to whomever wants one and that those who want to get married can do it through their faith tradition. Bully to people to who can be married for 60 years and still be crazy about each other (my aunt and uncle, bless them) but most people shouldn't get married at all because nothing more tedious than someone who is unhappily married and hates their in-laws. |
| mad fingers | Posted – 12/13/2007 3:10:22 PM | show profile I never did (get married). Might have if there were kids in the picture, but otherwise Cat said it all. |
| jjones | Posted – 12/13/2007 3:20:29 PM | show profile I didn't want no stinkin' piece of paper... 1. Because I thought it would be easier to get a mortgage. 2. To shut my then-boyfriend up and make him stop asking me. |
| astrahook | Posted – 12/13/2007 4:19:09 PM | show profile old paradigm: better to be in a bad relationship then no relationship. I don't think it has anything to do with society being wasteful and wanting immediate gratification. Life is to short to waste being unhappy. Would you waste 30 years of your life at a job you hated? Living someplace you hated? Its sad if you would, when the reality is we make our own choices |
| seeattleme | Posted – 12/13/2007 4:37:49 PM | show profile the biggest misconception about happiness is that it is some kind of permanent state one can attain. Happiness is like hunger, or thirst, or any emotional or physical state. Some days you're happy, some days you're not. I don't care what you're doing in life. No one is always happy just because they do A, B, or C. People who marry are ofetn unhappy. People who don't marry are often unhappy. People who have kids are often unhappy. People who don't have kids are often unhappy. People who live in the city are often unhappy. People who live in the burbs are often unhappy. People who wear boxers are often unhappy. People who wear briefs are often unhappy. and so it goes... |
| Mag Girl | Posted – 12/13/2007 5:17:49 PM | show profile agree, granitegirl. I think some people these days have unrealistic expectations of marriage. I don't know if it's because they buy into the "I'm a princess bride" marketing thinking everything will be happiness and roses and diamonds from there on out, but people just aren't clued in to reality. No marriage is going to be 100% wonderful all the time. The key is to be braced for the ups and downs and to learn how to communicate with each other to work everything through. |
| keltoi2 | Posted – 12/13/2007 5:32:39 PM | show profile I think communication and a sense of humor are key. My wife and I just went through a pretty huge crisis with one of her adult children, but we discussed everything and took humor where we found it, and that helped a lot. |
| foto | Posted – 12/13/2007 11:56:40 PM | show profile Expectations! Expectations! Some people enter a marriage with very high expectations of the other person (salary, career success, etc.) When the expectations are not fulfilled, the marriage goes downhill. An old friend of mine once said that marriage is like a fortress...people who are outside are trying to get in and people who are inside are trying to get out. |
| writesonwater | Posted – 12/14/2007 4:55:00 AM | show profile He was something of a rock, a very solid person. At the time that was VERY appealing -- I was very young and had been raised by wolves. His family was very traditional so a wedding was THE thing to do. His unchanging stance has caused friction in subsequent years -- so has my changeability. We've be separated a couple times over serious issues, but bottom line is that we think alike in most key areas. And we have kids, which has cemented things. Had we not been married and just lived together, it would have been easier to split and there were times we might have. Marriage won't "make you happy." Quite the contrary. So just be happy. If there's someone else who you're pretty doggone compatible with, that's gravy and a fine reason to wed. The nice presents help too ... ;) |
