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Topic: Boosting self-confidence of co-workers
| Author | Message |
| WritingEd | Posted – 12/29/2007 11:38:19 PM | show profile A colleague at the magazine where I work constantly asks me for assistance with everything, and it's starting to affect my ability to get my own job done because the hand holding is so time consuming. It's a self confidence issue. I've tried pointing out this person's strengths and reminding him that he is in charge of and is capable of making decisions on departments and columns he manages and that's he's doing fine in his role (he's been with the magazine, a monthly, about five months). But he continually stops me to ask questions, both verbally and in writing. It's like he can't organize a thought or write a single sentence without reassurance that it'll be ok. I am not his direct supervisor but do have seniority. I have talked to his supervisor, also my manager, and was told to handle it myself. I'm wondering if others can share what has worked for them in boosting the confidence of co-workers who constantly second guess themselves and ask for opinions, assistance, etc. Or if you are one who has suffered from low self esteem in your writing or editing, what has a co-worker done to help? |
| nandy | Posted – 12/30/2007 9:45:22 AM | show profile I manage someone like that, and while it's part of my job as their manager to help them with decisions they aren't sure about, sometimes it does get a little excessive. There are times when they've come in to ask the solution to a very simple problem, one that they've faced before. In my case, I think my worker has a self-confidence issue. Over the years, as the company reorganized several times, their responsibilities have been reduced so that where once they had several people reporting to them, now they have none. Their own work has not been diminished, just that the company, as a whole, reduced staff and flattened the hierarchy. In their case, I have suggested taking some short courses (1-1/2 hour telecourses) offered through our company. They have taken several, and I can see a marginal improvement. Hopefully, I will see more improvement in the coming year. It sounds like your co-worker has new-job insecurity. Five months is still a relatively short period. Since they don't report to you, you are limited to what you can do, but perhaps going to lunch and having a heart to heart about their job would help. Think of a few anecdotes from your own work experience that might relate, point out some examples from his five months of work that really were good, and let him know he's earned his wings. Hope that helps. |
| caitlinkelly | Posted – 12/30/2007 4:58:50 PM | show profile Taking him to lunch and having a kindly heart to heart is a good start; get away from the office and see what's going on with him -- maybe he's scared of being fired or demoted? Maybe he has money worries exacerbating his anxiety? Not that you want to become his BFF or ongoing confidante, but it might help to know if this is just who he is (nervous) or situational. If your supervisor -- who is also his -- told you to handle it, this makes me wonder if that's exactly why he's coming to you -- maybe he's too scared to ask her for feedback or advice and sees you as more approachable. He needs to figure a way to ask you for less help, ask her for more help and/or get more help on his own, whether from classes or whatever other source might exist. Maybe he's been fired before? Five months is not very long into a new job and, if he is not getting much/any feedback he may well want to know he is doing OK. Simply keeping his job week to week -- with no reassurance from someone who could fire him (ie your shared manager), in this volatile economy, is not per se particularly reassuring. |
| writesonwater | Posted – 12/30/2007 8:30:32 PM | show profile In general there's a fine line between being somewhat supportive and people becoming co-dependent. THere seems to be a sort of umbilical chord that sometimes needs to go away sometimes. Can you make yourself slightly less available for the little stuff? |
| WritingEd | Posted – 1/3/2008 12:34:32 AM | show profile Thanks for the advice, everyone. I like the idea of being slightly less available, and of getting this co-worker to approach our boss once in a while instead of me. I guess I'll just have to keep laying it on thick with the praise when I can, and maybe schedule update meetings with him, which could cut down on getting interrupted constantly. One thing I didn't mention is that this person's work, while acceptable, is by no means stellar. So it gets even more complicated when I have to give negative feedback. I remember learning in college to always cushion bad stuff with good comments, so I try to do that so his confidence doesn't get completely shattered. Tough, though. |
