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Topic: ~Bright & Shiny~ Random Thursday Questions
| Author | Message |
| writesonwater | Posted – 2/3/2008 5:53:22 PM | show profile A friend of mine was raised with a half-sister who was 8 years older and they are not close at all. Repeated efforts to reach out to the older half-sis have been repeatedly rebuffed. I think I'm lucky because even though my "halfs" are all 10-15 years older than me, but in part because we all have the same mom and our dads were nothing we could identify, and perhaps in part because these half-sibs are just extraordinary people, we are fairly close and don't even hardly registered the "half" part. They were very protective of me as I was growing up (the baby) and had a big, positive impact on me as a youngster. I wouldn't trade them, but I also wouldn't want to relive the difficult childhood that brought us so close. |
| pamelabeth | Posted – 2/6/2008 2:02:18 PM | show profile ck, i will seek out the books you mention. it's such an interesting, and important, topic. i think most girls and women would be more than willing to make the choice to defend themselves from harm, in one way or another--but the need to make that choice is directly contradicted by so many societal messages and norms. thinking of this pervert i mentioned, for example, it took me forever to get from "he's an acquaintance of my dad's and a member of the temple, and he's probably just socially awkward and doesn't realize that his behavior is inappropriate, and i don't want to embarrass him..." to "if he doesn't know better, he should, and i am getting the feeling that this is deliberately aggressive on his part, and his embarrassment should not be spared at the expense of my comfort or safety." it's a complicated topic for sure, but if anyone who's raising a girl is interested in posting on how you're helping her navigate the wilds of social norms vs. safety, i'm very interested to hear. |
| writesonwater | Posted – 2/6/2008 3:08:40 PM | show profile | email poster I agree. It's good to hear young people (girls and boys) assert themselves. I taught my kids to say if they're not comfortable with something. This comes in handy not just in fending off creeps but also resisting peer pressure to do bad things, etc. There was a great kids book series by Joy Wilt, and one of the books addressed the right to privacy, teaching kids to say, if asked a question they don't want to answer, "I'd rather not say." That's it. Kids need to be able to draw a line in the sand. It's a lesson we need to learn early. (And need to reinforce as adults). You know that recurring scene from Bridget Jones Diary -- the one where the pervy "uncle" is all hands and inappropriate attention? Everytime I see that I want to tell Bridget to stand up for herself, but between being a woman, a "pleaser" and Bridget Jones, she never seems to muster it. ------ http://writingporch.blogspot.com/ http://jlouiselarson.blogspot.com/ http://familyrootsandwings.blogspot.com/ |
