| Back to Home > Bulletin Board > Media Issues > Topic: Help...Harrassed Via Emails |
Topic: Help...Harrassed Via Emails
| Author | Message |
| scribechick | Posted – 4/14/2008 6:26:38 PM | show profile | email poster Anyone go through this experience? I banned a poster from one of my websites and now she is sending me private messages via another site (it is a work-related website) and emails from her Internet Provider. (I just called them and they said there is nothing they can do.) Also, she is trashing anything and everything I post, as well as making statements that are untrue. She is on a mission to hurt me. Help. What can I do? Thanks in advance. |
| FeaturesGal | Posted – 4/14/2008 6:41:53 PM | show profile Honestly? Not much. I've been stalked online (had person constantly going to blogs and leaving comments using my, my husbands and childrens names) and actually had it come down to physical threats against my family. Police were called but, honestly, there's not much they can do. Ban her messages (that should be possible) and completely ignore her. Do not read messages or emails. If you give any attention, it seems to egg these types of people on. I feel for you but do know that, eventually, the crazies tend to go away to find someone who will react to them. |
| writesonwater | Posted – 4/14/2008 7:17:55 PM | show profile If this is any comfort -- everyone knows what these people sound and smell like, and we don't give them credibility. If you know enough about her to report her at her site she's sending from, might send a friendly message up like "What's with these messages from Soandso? I'm a bit concerned -- is she okay?" Just an idea ... probably not a good one, but I might try that. |
| Decorama | Posted – 4/14/2008 7:33:28 PM | show profile IP Don't do anything that would allow her to trace your IP address or find out where you actually work or live. So I would say don't email her work-related website, just in case she might see it. |
| seeattleme | Posted – 4/14/2008 7:44:06 PM | show profile You know who this person is? That she is indeed a she? Do you have any idea why this is happening? |
| scribechick | Posted – 4/14/2008 7:52:57 PM | show profile | email poster Yes, it is a she. She is upset because I banned her from my website. I couldn't take her belittling comments any longer. I don't know how far she will go. Right now--it's harrassing me in private emails (i.e., I don't have "brains" or "original thoughts"... Hmmm. And she is stalking every single post I make on a work-related site. I work with the owner of the site who is on vacation for the next week. I did contact the webmaster... |
| seeattleme | Posted – 4/14/2008 8:04:48 PM | show profile Wow. I would ignore her as much as you can. Can she find out where you live? |
| scribechick | Posted – 4/14/2008 8:20:22 PM | show profile You're right. I should ignore her but...some of the things she says!!! I know the town, not her last name. It's a challenge to rise above her comments. She is so wrong. |
| FeaturesGal | Posted – 4/14/2008 9:22:05 PM | show profile As I said, you really have to ignore her! My stalker threatened, at points, to mutilate my children. I made the mistake of responding back on that one and that's when it really hit the fan. Thanks to blogging, I've seen it all. (Had the weekly Saturday night email that told me how stupid I was, the person who always came by and suggested I kill myself.) These idiots thrive on attention. Why do you think she is writing these things? To get a rise out of you. She knows these types of things hurt. But you have to rise above and STOP READING THEM. I can't remember how much you know about her, but do a bit of creative Googling. You'll be surprised just how much you can find on someone that way. (My stalker? We found a video of her getting smacked down by a cop at a PETA rally and, my personal favorite, her blog where she admitted her cousin gave her herpes.) |
| WordyBird | Posted – 4/15/2008 12:37:22 AM | show profile UGH! Delete, delete, delete, ignore, ignore, ignore, ban, ban, ban. Eventually the troll will go somewhere else. |
| worldofnatasha | Posted – 4/15/2008 4:50:02 AM | show profile what a nightmare! I don't have any advice, but just wanted to give you my sympathy. hang in there! |
| Decorama | Posted – 4/15/2008 9:35:35 AM | show profile Keep a Record You're probably doing this, but keep a record and hard copies of everything that she has sent/ posted. |
| fourfold | Posted – 4/15/2008 12:34:14 PM | show profile | email poster Does your e-mail have a "bounce" function? This causes the message to be returned to the sender as "undeliverable." That's been a pretty effective way to stop unwanted e-mails for me. Alternatively, consider setting up a "rule" by which any e-mails from that sender will be automatically filed in a specially designated folder. Periodically delete the contents of the folder without looking at the messages. That should help you get your mind off of worrying about this nut job. |
| WeRoqq | Posted – 4/15/2008 12:37:08 PM | show profile I've had experiences with stalkers unfortunately. Your best move, as others have already suggested here, is to ignore her. Your response is what she's looking for and it would only fuel her to be more annoying. Plus by ignoring her, it shows that her obsessive stalking does not bother you (even if it does, you can't let that show) and as Decorama said, you need to keep a record of everything as proof. Best of luck! ------ WeRoqq Publicity & Promotion www.WeRoqq.com |
| dribbledrive1 | Posted – 4/15/2008 1:29:39 PM | show profile Just delete her emails unread. Eventually she'll get bored of you and move on to someone else. The more attention you give her, the longer she'll stick around. |
| scribechick | Posted – 4/15/2008 1:43:15 PM | show profile Thanks so much you guys. I deleted the first email this AM. Why do I want to get upset so early? Now, there are two cyber bullies out to ruffle my feathers. Reminds me of grade school. I'm too sensitive and let it affect me too much. The block feature isn't as easy as it used to be. Confronting is only going to stress me out and prob get them excited. Ignore. You're all right. Again, thanks for being there for me! |
| scribechick | Posted – 4/15/2008 1:43:18 PM | show profile Thanks so much you guys. I deleted the first email this AM. Why do I want to get upset so early? Now, there are two cyber bullies out to ruffle my feathers. Reminds me of grade school. I'm too sensitive and let it affect me too much. The block feature isn't as easy as it used to be. Confronting is only going to stress me out and prob get them excited. Ignore. You're all right. Again, thanks for being there for me! |
| scribechick | Posted – 4/15/2008 1:43:25 PM | show profile Thanks so much you guys. I deleted the first email this AM. Why do I want to get upset so early? Now, there are two cyber bullies out to ruffle my feathers. Reminds me of grade school. I'm too sensitive and let it affect me too much. The block feature isn't as easy as it used to be. Confronting is only going to stress me out and prob get them excited. Ignore. You're all right. Again, thanks for being there for me! |
| advicesisterA | Posted – 4/15/2008 5:18:20 PM | show profile I have been online for more than 16 years, and believe me, as a life and career expert, I attract those who are angry, disenfranchised and just plain nutty. Mostly I've had this experience with young people who want free advice and if they don't get it, they become abusive. But I have learned that the best thing to do hit just hit the "delete" button without reading anything a heckler says (after the first few missives--by then you know if the person is trying to communicate or just harass you). If the person makes personal threats, you can definitely get the police and even the FBI involved--and certainly you should document everything with her service provicer. If it's any consolation, consider that your "heckler" is upset because you banned her from a web site. I mean, it's not like you stole from her! These types of people generally just want your attention but like people who expose themselves in public, they get no joy if they don't get a response or a reaction. I know it's hard to ignore this person, but my experience with such things is that she will eventually stop if you don't feed her need for attention. Good luck |
| Mirage | Posted – 4/15/2008 6:47:35 PM | show profile While I think it's often better to just delete unread correspondences from certain people (exes, "toxic" friends, etc.), in this case you might want to follow the advice of those who suggest that you save a copy of everything your harrasser sends. It's better to be prepared in case things escalate. But if the comments and e-mails are too provocative and you're afraid you will respond, maybe there's a way you can set up something in your e-mail that will automatically move messages from your harrasser into a folder, so you never even have to see them, but they're still there in case you need to turn them over to the police...? |
| lilah78 | Posted – 4/15/2008 6:54:08 PM | show profile | email poster Try visiting http://www.cybercrime.gov/reporting.htm#cc. I think they'll instruct you to contact the FBI, and there's probably not much they'll do (if anything), but it's worth filing a complaint if even ignoring her won't make her go away. |
| scribechick | Posted – 4/15/2008 11:27:33 PM | show profile Update...This is a bit shocking. All day the posts were flying on two websites...Tension was escalating as two posters (ganging up on me) and I were talking in abstract, being evasive, no names. It got absurd. Ignoring was impossible. Finally, I called her out. Yeah, a catfight. And you know what? I think it cleared the air. I think we may agree to disagree and all may be well that ends well. I left with a white flag waving...and the response was a light one where folks think a quake -- a big one -- could be in the works due to all the heated tension. Lesson: When ignoring doesn't work--confrontation is necessary. |
| scribechick | Posted – 4/15/2008 11:27:39 PM | show profile Update...This is a bit shocking. All day the posts were flying on two websites...Tension was escalating as two posters (ganging up on me) and I were talking in abstract, being evasive, no names. It got absurd. Ignoring was impossible. Finally, I called her out. Yeah, a catfight. And you know what? I think it cleared the air. I think we may agree to disagree and all may be well that ends well. I left with a white flag waving...and the response was a light one where folks think a quake -- a big one -- could be in the works due to all the heated tension. Lesson: When ignoring doesn't work--confrontation is necessary. |
| sofisays | Posted – 4/16/2008 12:51:08 PM | show profile What the @#@#@ is this? wholesnekercn? it is so annoying... this long drawn out web ad- I cannot stand it! who is posting this stuff, when we are trying to get answers to our questions? After a nice response to a great question, all of sudden this long post of bs is smack in the middle- a real turn off, especially when you want to add to something or have another question answered. Can it be stopped? ~ Annoyed! |
| scribechick | Posted – 4/16/2008 1:32:18 PM | show profile Hi Sofisays, Funny you noticed it too. I wasn't sure how to decode it. At first, I felt bad because I didn't ignore long enough as advised (I tried!) and confronted the cyber-bullies. So many people here offered good advice. Again, sometimes, though, it is difficult to not deal. And this time it worked. Anyhow, maybe it's some weird ad or someone who doesn't like this thread. |
