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Topic: Job destroying my health; how can I transition?
| Author | Message |
| BruisePristine | Posted – 4/20/2008 12:33:21 PM | show profile Currently, I work as an online editor for a small and nefariously run media company. I am VERY young to hold this position (I graduated from college just a few years ago), and my boss does not respect me or my work. I was a campaign manager previously, and I asked for a demotion recently because I was being asked to lie to clients about how we do work. (We outsource some of it, and I was being asked to create a fictional staff, and act as liaison to said fictional staff.) Now, I am asked to write three times as many highly technical each week as I was. Should I not hold to this deadline, I get rebuked or canned. My work and behavior is monitored. My other co-workers are male and can do what they please. [Quick aside: The weeks I have achieved the quota, the companies for whom we worked complained and threatened to drop us. (I had no time to devote to quality, fact-checking, and grammar, because to my boss, who is never and will never be a writer, quantity trumps quality. Alas, clients do not agree.) I am literally forced to choose between retaining clients and meeting quota every single day.] The office environment is not even suited to serious, technical writing work. My boss has whomever he pleases in, at any time. His parents and siblings come in and talk nonstop. He's had male friends come in and speak in a loud voice about which chicks they wants to you-know-what, or talk about how much they hate "f@gg*ts" or whatever. The other staff (all men), are not held to quotas, so they yell, sing, or watch YouTube without doing much work. (I can't do this -- not that I would; it's so unprofessional -- and it's seriously hampering my ability to produce. It's not an office; it's playtime.) I no longer sleep, I have thought about taking my life, and I have no sex drive or interest in anything as a result of this work environment. The catch? I've been here less than a year, and I simply don't think anyone will take interest in hiring me, a kid who's been graduated long enough to need to show some stability, but who is also jumping ship before the year-mark has passed. I have applied for jobs ranging from call center to biller and coder to assistant. (I would prefer not to work in a restaurant; I am so clumsy that I can't do it.) I don't need the money right now, but I don't want to ruin my career by being unemployed. I truly love writing, and I have a regular newspaper gig on the side, just to show that I am so versatile. Alas, I'm ruining my health instead, I'm so worried about how my resume will look. What can I tell new prospective employers about why I'm jumping ship so soon? And what will I tell my boss when I leave? Should I leave without a new job lined up? My partner wants me to because of my health decline, and I sort of agree. I'm really scared. |
| wander lust | Posted – 4/20/2008 12:40:18 PM | show profile Don't worry about what you will tell your boss when you leave. Technically, employers are able to fire you without notice or reason, so I don't think it should matter the other way around, especially with how sh*tty you're being treated there. Your partner is right, no job is worth your health and well being. As for what to tell future employers when you apply, say that it wasn't the right fit. Good luck! I know how hard it is to feel stuck at a job you hate. |
| BruisePristine | Posted – 4/20/2008 12:50:17 PM | show profile Thanks! I keep forgetting this and sometimes I don't believe it's true -- that you should look out for yourself first. I am afraid I will get passed over by recruiters and HR and editors and etc. if it looks like I am unemployed. Does anyone have specific tips for how I might address this in a cover letter? "It was a bad fit, I want to be a professional freelancer, etc.?" Ideally, I would get a part-time labor or call center job and freelance the rest of the time. I have learned that working in an office is not for me anyway. (By the way, I apologize for my terrible form with my first post. You can see that I got quite emotional and wasn't paying attention.) |
| snappiness | Posted – 4/20/2008 1:03:07 PM | show profile "Not a good fit" is a good response when interviewing. I talk to a lot of company owners and managers, and nobody wants to hear a prospective hire bash their former employer. Best of luck, it really does sound like you should get out of there now and worry about your resume later. My guess is once you get out and refresh yourself, you'll be less worried/depressed about the details and feel generally much more positive about your future. |
| rhino writer | Posted – 4/20/2008 1:27:21 PM | show profile Quit now. And in later job interviews, just say (like everyone else suggested) that it wasn't a good fit. Since you have a steady freelancing gig, you won't be "unemployed" -- you'll be a freelancer, which is an entirely different thing. Quit this week. |
| Village Gal | Posted – 4/20/2008 2:35:35 PM | show profile Quit this week. No job is worth your health and well being and you indicated you have freelance work. Get out now. No resume is as important as your health. |
| DHernandez | Posted – 4/20/2008 3:26:36 PM | show profile Sounds like you need to recover before you'll interview well for a new job, or your frustration and anger will show through any words you may speak to the contrary. |
| wander lust | Posted – 4/20/2008 4:00:38 PM | show profile Yes, definitely take some time off to recover before you go on interviews, or you might bad mouth your past employer, which regardless of how terrible it truly was working there, no future employer wants to hear about. Maybe you can try to get a part-time job that will allow you to take on more freelance work, so you won't be "unemployed" per se. |
| BruisePristine | Posted – 4/20/2008 4:33:20 PM | show profile Yes, anger... Thanks for pointing this out. My standard response in an interview would be something like, "I want to freelance part-time, and would like a part-time labor job to supplement my income and get me out of the house," or "I am applying for Z because I love your company/am interested in a career change/want to return to layout and design, etc. I would not bad-mouth an employer ever, of course. I am so upset, and yes, resentful, that I must be careful not to let it show. You can see that in my writing. If anyone has had success with relaxation techniques (I do not sleep, and other activities have become taxing), please share or link to. (Ditto on freelance sites. I am on a few that cater to technical specialties; however, I can also do advertising copy and of course, journalism. What is your favorite site?) |
| Janetblueyes | Posted – 4/20/2008 4:34:10 PM | show profile Bruise- The fact that you indicate in your post that you've thought of taking your own life causes me great concern. No job is worth even entertaining those thoughts. Get the hell out of there. Now. All the other things you are worried about will fall into place. Sounds like you are working in a frat house. Seriously, get your things and quit ASAP. |
| Marie | Posted – 4/20/2008 4:37:57 PM | show profile You're in a hostile work environment, are being verbally harassed by the comments of the visitors, are being discriminated against because you're subject to demands your male colleagues aren't. And that's just the illegal stuff. Just leave. And I personally hate "not a good fit." How does your next employer believe you won't be a poor fit with them too? They'll wonder, what's wrong with her that she can't fit in. Just say you didn't want to do that type of writing anymore, or the job was going in a direction that was different from what it was when you started there. That in no way maligns your employer. And as others said, you have your freelance gig. Just line up one reference there before you leave. There must be one sane person in the place who can vouch for your work. I wouldn't worry too much about your future. |
| rhino writer | Posted – 4/20/2008 6:59:05 PM | show profile I agree with Marie, but even if you can't find someone to act as a reference there, just get out. Photocopy your rolodex, type up a neutral (!) resignation letter, and hand it in on Monday. They'll probably escort you out the door, and you'll be done. You sound clinically depressed. Quit, first off, then see a doctor. And take 20-minute walks every day. Chances are that getting out of there will resolve your depression, but line up an appointment in case it doesn't. Work is just work. It's not what should control your life. You becoming self-destructive because of work stress will ruin your career faster than a spell of freelancing will. |
| kimico | Posted – 4/24/2008 3:35:33 PM | show profile This is kind of eerie, b/c your experience is so similar to what happened to me when working for a small publishing company in FL. What I can tell you is that the outcome was not good - when I spoke out against the publisher's mistreatment of another woman in the office, I was fired. Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled to be out of there, but the bottom line is that this probably isn't a situation that will get better until you leave. As far as your resume or looking "unemployeed" - don't mention it until someone has asked. When and if they do, just say it wasn't a good fit (as you've been advised), but definitely do not bad mouth your previous employer. They might be awful - but they won't understand that. If, however, you do not quit right away - b/c the environment is clearly hostile - I would highly suggest that you keep a written log of what's going on there. You should note when you treated differently than your male counterparts and the comments disscussing homosexuals and/or women in a disrespectful way. In fact, you might even want to go to the EEOC's website and look at what the laws are regarding this type of thing... If you quit b/c you are being discriminated against as a woman, it still counts. In any event, my advice is to get out of there as quickly as possible. |
| snappiness | Posted – 4/26/2008 11:33:37 AM | show profile how it turns out Hey, keep up updated on how it goes. I'd like to hear how you are doing. |
| reporterwriter | Posted – 4/26/2008 4:18:59 PM | show profile One thing you could do, and this is really hard at first because it goes against every fiber of your work ethic, is basically divorce yourself from the office -- go in, do the work, but don't think much about anything that goes on there, and meanwhile plan and execute your escape to a better place. It saves having to quit your job. I've never quit a job to find another, instead having much success with the method above, which pulled me out of my anger because I felt like I was in control again. |
| BruisePristine | Posted – 4/26/2008 4:41:24 PM | show profile For all who asked: I resigned just a few days ago and will be done soon. I have never felt so right or so terrible in my life. I feel like I have failed, because a stronger, more mentally healthy person would have stuck it out. Mentally, I am not doing well, and I suspect this will be the case for a while. I am applying for jobs though, and considering moving because I live in a pretty burnt-out area of the US (Midwest). |
| BruisePristine | Posted – 4/26/2008 4:42:25 PM | show profile (Which is to say that through we have no apparent recession because we were always a depressed economy, the writing jobs are as they have always been - slim to no pickins'.) |
| rhino writer | Posted – 4/26/2008 5:04:22 PM | show profile Sounds like it's what's called a hostile environment. That breaks down pretty much everyone. No such thing as being "mentally healthy" or strong enough to stay there without being part of the psychosis. Congratulations on leaving. That took a lot of guts. Now find a good doctor and start tackling your depression. You did not fail by leaving. The environment failed you. End of story. |
| muserella | Posted – 4/26/2008 5:16:05 PM | show profile Stop Beating Yourself Up BP, You have done the right thing by giving notice and it's good that you will be out of there very soon. Now give yourself a break. You sound really down on yourself for not sticking it out longer in a toxic work environment. If it makes you feel any better, know that your story is not unusual. Unfortunately, many of us have battle scars from bad jobs, particularly early in our careers. It's a part of being in the work world. Now you know a little more about yourself. You were able to tolerate a lousy situation for months, weren't you? Cool. You know what signs to look for next time that indicate things are going south. You won't let that happen again. Now, let it go. It's really hard to find a new job when you're one of the walking wounded. It's time to focus on you and turn your thoughts to constructive things. That's how you're going to move on and find your next job. Don't let bitterness or frustration eat you up. Focus on being positive. You are obviously a hard working with a desire to succeed. Just make sure that person is the one writing your cover letters and showing up at interviews (not the walking wounded person) and I'm sure you'll be fine. Good luck! |
| WordyBird | Posted – 4/27/2008 12:53:43 PM | show profile It's not you, it's them. Oh my goodness, BruisePristine, you have *not* failed. That company and that boss failed YOU! Honestly, it sounds like you were working with a bunch of barbarians, and as others have said, nothing is worth sacrificing your health. If you still feel like you might harm yourself, please talk to a mental health professional immediately. Seriously. It's perfectly understandable that working in such a toxic environment could contribute to clinical depression, but suicidal ideation is a big red flag that should never be ignored. Really, BP, those losers are not worth your life. Nothing is, but especially sheer and utter bullcrap like what you are working with. Once you're out, you'll see that it's not you, it's them. There are plenty of great people in the business, people who are professionals. You need only to look at some of the folks here to see that. What you're dealing with now, quite frankly, is a playground of arseholes. |
