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Topic: What's wrong with me?
| Author | Message |
| PluckyPane | Posted – 5/27/2008 3:31:59 PM | show profile if i could offer a man's perspective.... my wife is like this. she often feels unfulfilled but she can't put her finger on it. she burns the candle at both ends all the time. she's constantly doing something. when i tell her to relax, she gets angry. the thank you cards have to go out. we have to get this over to mom's tonight because she asked about this weekend. we have to get this library book finished because it's due tomorrow. her response to my "relax, honey" is to criticize me for not offering to help. the thing is, i don't think the world will end if it doesn't get done tonight or tomorrow or even until next week. she feels that she has to fill everyone else's desires before she can sit down and relax herself. then she gets angry at me because i can relax so easily. she also has to have that adrenline rush going at all times to feel in control. my offer to help would only make both of us unhappy and wouldn't really accomplish the bigger problem, which is her lack of allowing herself to say "fuck it" every once in a while. she doesn't have to be super anything, and really, it's just burning her out. i know you ladies are the envy of your friends who seem to do it all and make it look effortless, but trust me, that woman is hanging her head at night wondering why she's stressing over nothing. let me ask you: what would you do if money wasn't a concern? would you travel? would you spend all your time with your kids? would you finally read up on that water garden you want to put in your backyard? would you take the time for you and only you without getting mad at the kids because they have a schedule (which you probably cater to) or a husband who probably gets away with not doing as much for the family as you would like? how about taking some time for yourself. the world will not end if something doesn't get done, but you may just self destruct or end up resenting the people who rely on you to get your thankless tasks done. Break the routine. Try something new. And don't feel guilty about it. |
| newbie | Posted – 5/28/2008 12:27:45 AM | show profile I get this way too, but I am learning it has to do with me not being being too critical and focused on myself. I would say... try to be present a bit more and not in your head. Yoga, meditatin and getting out in nature can all help. Or find a creative outlet. Find a hobby or sport that allows you to totally zone out, be happy and stop thinking all the time. Turn off that treadmill in the mind. Volunteering your time might help--what better way to appreciate all you have. |
| Canadiana | Posted – 5/28/2008 8:56:36 AM | show profile All are wonderful suggestions. Thank you again. In regards to SAD, it does run rampent in some parts of Canada and the US (and elsewhere) but it is rather bright and sunny where I live and I don't think that's the problem. One thing I've done in the past 2 weeks or so is not reach out to others. That sounds weird, right? Well, I've always been a planner and an organizer. But, I decided that if friends or family want to get in touch with me, they can do it on their own accord. It's very odd for me not to reach out but it's also very freeing. |
