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Topic: When to disclose?
| Author | Message |
| Agirlwalksintoabookstore... | Posted – 7/21/2008 12:44:44 PM | show profile I don't want to get too explicit here, but I was recently diagnosed with a minor learning difference (In an aside, I'm still coming to terms with it, but its a huge relief to finally have a name for my slightly "off" behavior). At the same time, I'm trying to learn when its appropriate to tell people and when not, and how. I've told my current employer, and they've been overwhelmingly understanding about this, but my question has to do with job hunting: when in the interview process, if ever, do you tell a prospective employer that you have a learning difference? The thing about my particular case is that I have a high-functioning version of the disorder; I've gotten good at aping the behavior of "neurotypicals," so that my weird behavior is less noticeable at first glance. The problem deepens when I get to the job interview, because socially I'm just not attuned to the rest of the world. Its a touchy subject, I know, but any help is greatly appreciated. |
| foodlit | Posted – 7/21/2008 1:12:20 PM | show profile I'm not sure that you would disclose this. Why would you? |
| caitlinkelly | Posted – 7/21/2008 1:30:42 PM | show profile I'd focus as much energy as you can, working with a coach and/or therapist, to help you survive job interviews enough to get an offer. Can you be a little more specific about what is "weird" about your behavior? There are so many people with lousy social skills, eccentricities and neuroses, it must be pretty noticeable for others to really see it. I'd also consult with a decent labor lawyer in your state to find out exactly what, if anything, you have in the way of protection because of this disability/difference. |
| Agirlwalksintoabookstore... | Posted – 7/22/2008 1:15:15 PM | show profile Thanks for the responses. As I've said, I'm new to this, so I just don't know what to do. As far as my difference goes (I'd hardly call it a disability, since I'm hardy "disabled" from doing anything), I have a very hard time connecting socially with other people; I also don't know how to pick up on those nonverbal social cues that other people can decipher naturally. I can sometimes appear to be very rude (ie, I don't know how to make small talk). A long time ago, I had a difficult time with eye contact, but after copious amounts of time spent in front of the mirror (I'm not vain! Honest!), I've gotten much better at this. But sometimes I overcompensate, which freaks people out a little. On the other hand people like me are very loyal, honest, creative, passionate about chosen fields of interest, and good at communicating in writing. I've also begun seeing a speech therapist, as well as a professional who helps people with my difference acclimatize in school and work environments. So I'm making positive steps towards improving my situation. I'm very proud of what I've accomplished so far--many people with what I have never leave their parents' home, never mind manage to hold down steady employment. I feel as though telling potential employers about my difference (even after two intervews for one job) is kind of a wimpy thing to do--almost as though I'm asking for pity. Which I'm not. I guess another question I have is, if you don't tell, then how do you take the strengths and weaknesses of a difference such as this and work them to your advantage? But thanks for the advice you've all given me! (and sorry for such a long post). |
| HisGirlFriday | Posted – 7/22/2008 2:06:09 PM | show profile I've seen you post about this issue in other threads - I don't think you have to tell anyone about your issue unless it might somehow impact your ability to do a job, or a particular aspect of a job. (Say, if you used a wheelchair and could not therefore could not hike the Appalachian trail to do a story about it.) It sounds as if you are doing everything to address it - which is very brave. Besides, all the most brilliant writers I know are quite a bit "off," if not downright bizarre, so you're in good company. :) Good luck! |
| infojunkie | Posted – 7/22/2008 4:00:37 PM | show profile Shhhhh I would not tell anyone. Please forgive me for being negative but about 10 years ago my mother was diagnosed with a disease. You cannot tell she has it and she does very good work. However, when the last three jobs that she had found out she had it she was let go within three months later. This was after great reviews and getting along great with everyone in the office. I do not trust companies here in the states when it comes to health problems. They do not want to employ someone who may cause problems (not that you would by any means, that is just how they think), be sick a lot, cause them insurance issues, etc. I like the suggestion of getting it under control and if you do that you should be good. Just keep it to your family and close non-work friends. |
| dribbledrive1 | Posted – 7/22/2008 4:39:44 PM | show profile I wouldn't mention it. Lots of people have poor social skills in different situations for lots of reasons, and I honestly don't think telling people about a minor learning difference is going to win you points as much call attention to the fact. --As far as my difference goes (I'd hardly call it a disability, since I'm hardy "disabled" from doing anything), I have a very hard time connecting socially with other people; I also don't know how to pick up on those nonverbal social cues that other people can decipher naturally. I can sometimes appear to be very rude (ie, I don't know how to make small talk). A long time ago, I had a difficult time with eye contact, but after copious amounts of time spent in front of the mirror (I'm not vain! Honest!), I've gotten much better at this. But sometimes I overcompensate, which freaks people out a little.-- |
