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Topic: My career is COMPLETELY off course
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| consider | Posted – 8/19/2008 12:35:34 AM | show profile The MB readers who have been here for a few months might remember that I left a corrupt writing job with a real boy's club infrastructure. Since then, I have been working on some freelance projects (nothing extremely prestigious, I'm afraid), and I have a contract job at a large healthcare company (ironically, they will not give me health insurance...that would ruin their profit margins). The contract job is pissing me off no end. I was recruited for a "Web development" position. Sure, I know Dreamweaver, Joomla, HTML, CSS, and a bit of JScript, but I'm by no means a Web developer. It doesn't matter for this job, though, because the majority of my work now seems to be copying text and pasting it into a cumbersome, security-lax content management system that is slowly but surely making good CSS coders like me obsolete. I'm actually working on eliminating my own job. It's a great morale booster. The people with whom I work rave about my writing skills. This, I find odd, since none of them have ever read my work. One did Google me but only at my insistence, and admitted that he did not read my work. Everyone goes on and on about how they need to "find a niche for me" since my skill set is "so unique." Um, I can code and write. Can't most young people nowadays? I thought we were a dime a dozen. The "niche" they have found for me consists of copying text and pasting it into a template. They need to hire more writers, but they won't transfer me over. They'd rather get kids from Iowa who've not yet met split infinitives they didn't like to do those jobs. I make just over 12 an hour, by the way. They are trying to get me some more projects, but my pay will not increase, and these projects will mostly involve copying and pasting. I didn't want to do these projects AT ALL but I said yes anyway. This is what the career books tell you to do. "The boss is always right," and etc. I don't want to be here. This is the second job in a row I've taken knowing from the beginning that it was the wrong fit. I had a bad gut feeling about this one as well and true to my form, I ignored it. Do I have some kind of "fear of success" complex? Or do I just have severe depression? Or am I just a general idiot who should go back to retail? |
| abqwriter | Posted – 8/19/2008 12:54:50 AM | show profile I wasn't around for your previous history, but I do feel for you. I worked fashion clothing retail all the way through high school and college (and again when I burned out teaching high school behavior disordered kids), and I personally would much rather work commission clothing retail than do what you're doing. It sounds mind-numbing, so I can definitely understand the disappointment. I doubt you have any complexes, just a need for a bit of financial security - something that's a bit more challenging without a contract. Can you start looking around for other options? Any way at all to combine your retail experience with writing where you live? Yes, you've got to pay the bills, but life is too short to spend all day every day doing work that neither challenges the mind or leaves us with a sense of accomplishment. Even the corporate profiles I write for a trade website are kind of fun. It's not going to win me any awards, but I do enjoy the process. |
| caitlinkelly | Posted – 8/19/2008 10:09:15 AM | show profile If this contract allows you even one or two nights a week to yourself, find a retail job open late hours or waitress or bar-tend. Do anything -- as anything will pay more than $12/hour, even tutoring or babysitting -- to bring in cash flow and detach your ego from this lousy pit-stop. It's a pit-stop. Don't invest it with any additional energy or time. If you can afford even a few sessions of therapy, it may well be worth the investment to figure out why -- as you admit -- you "true to form" ignored your own instincts again. Some families are excellent training grounds for learning how to submit, utterly ignoring your own needs in lieu of theirs...Self-destructive patterns can sabotage even the the best technical skills at work You need to break free of this one. |
| rhino writer | Posted – 8/19/2008 12:03:23 PM | show profile Okay, so it's a contract job. That means it should have a finite ending. You're not stuck in a permanent position. If the job's not that relevant to your career, the boss isn't always right and you certainly can decline an extension to the contract. They may want to find a niche for you, but that doesn't mean you have to (or should) accept it. It's flattering to be recruited for something, and it's scary to be out of work, especially considering how bad your last job was. I agree with the previous poster that perhaps a few sessions with a counselor might be in order just to figure out how to gain control over your life. In the meantime, keep freelancing, remind yourself that this is not a permanent position, and keep looking for something that's a better fit. |
| mkelly | Posted – 8/19/2008 12:40:53 PM | show profile I don't get it If you can code and you can write, why aren't you writing about coding? Do you have a blog somewhere to write about coding issues? Do you like to write about something else? Are you not writing about that? You have a contract IT job; they're almost always boring, and they almost always end either by contract expiration or someone realizing a dude in India can do it more cheaply. You don't have a problem with your writing career, because you're not writing. You just don't like your job. This is not unusual. Use this job to pay the bills while you look for a writing job. Then return here to complain about lousy writing jobs in the media industry, and you'll fit right in with the rest of us. |
| WordyBird | Posted – 8/20/2008 11:06:07 AM | show profile Bruise, I remember that whole thing with the boys club. I second what the others have said. Contracts are temporary, so keep looking. Don't beat yourself up about this. You did what you had to do so you could pay your bills. From the outside looking in, seems to me the boredom and temporary career detour are far better than the environment you came from and how miserable you were there. Also, a lot of people are on career detours right now. That's the state of the industry and the economy. You'll still get to your destination. It might just take longer. |
| jobhunter08 | Posted – 8/25/2008 12:59:37 AM | show profile Retail does not pay over $12/hr, that's hilarious I'm working in retail part-time to cover expenses. It's pennies. |
| consider | Posted – 8/26/2008 9:57:04 PM | show profile I haven't had time to get back to this thread, but I do wanna bump it. I made the piss-poor decision to take this job partially based on parental expectations. To the folks who suggested I look inside myself, you're spot-on, and I am already in therapy. It just feels like, right now, it's not helping. I'm grateful I can go, though, at all, since I'm uninsured and lots of docs won't see you without a provider. Besides the IT job, I also had an offer to work for a start-up; this offer paid 20/hour. That job would have involved me calling businesses and interviewing people to find out what they did for this "start-up business directory" company. I talked to the investors all the way out in SoCal and didn't feel secure about the vibe I got; plus, I could hear my mother lecturing about how this isn't a real job (And yes, my mother hasn't supported me since I was a teenager, so why should this be a concern?). Anyway, I went with the, seemingly, more secure (aka better liked by one's parents) of the two options. I am still cutting and pasting. I want to scream. A sane person can't handle performing the same three motions (right-click, left-click, scroll) for 9 hours straight. The best part is, my co-workers and even managers come up to me all the time asking for editing and writing help. Obviously, word's gotten around that I have a talent, but I'm still gonna be cutting and pasting at the end of the day, so who cares? Here's the upside: I have some freelance writing and editing going on. It's not the highest-paying in the world -- it provides a part-time income only -- but it's what keeps me going. I like the idea of picking up a side job in bartending or whatever, but there's no time for that; my schedule's packed as it is. My freelancing lets me put away way more money that I would be able to on 12 an hour. Now, I'm no hotshot. I'm just a kid, actually. My assignments are pretty low-paying, comparitively speaking. I don't have the experience to write for high-paying magazines or reputable trade pubs yet. (At least, I don't think so.) In fact, I've only been out of college several years, and I'm not sure I have "what it takes" to make my career completely freelance. But boy would I love to! I can't stand the cubicle culture with its miserable, mannerless drones. I need a vibrant, creative environment, or I need to be solo. I would love to be fired and be on unemployment, honestly. Not just because it's hard to get up in the morning and go to Cut N' Paste, but because I have no idea in hell how I'll get out of my kabumfuck hometown. I really, really want to just pack up and move without a job - to either Baltimore or Philadelphia. I have tried in vain for four years to make a livable career out of my talent, and I'm tired of watching people who can't write sentences with predicates (!) get the jobs I want. Because I live in Midwest Rustbelt Hell, the market is damn tight. It's probably worse here where I am than for you guys on the East Coast, at least in the writing field. Should I just pack up and move without a job? Honestly, I don't see any other way. My partner can't afford to visit other cities with me, and I can't get time off right now. All of my efforts to apply for jobs as an out-of-state applicant have not panned out. However, I DO have 15 grand saved; about one-third of that came from selling my car. I think that could last me a while... What do you guys think? Should we just put stuff into storage and arrive someplace, sight unseen? Because that is looking damn tempting right now. (Gotta be a city with public transit, though...we don't drive anymore.) |
| WordyBird | Posted – 8/27/2008 11:57:31 AM | show profile "What do you guys think? Should we just put stuff into storage and arrive someplace, sight unseen? Because that is looking damn tempting right now." That's no guarantee you'll find work, though, Bruise. And if you do find work, there's no guarantee you'll like it. Indeed, you may end up in another job that makes you miserable. I'm totally not trying to rain on your parade. just illustrating. I spent a year schlepping back and forth from D.C. to N.Y. on the train for interviews. Finally, in July 2007 I decided that enough was enough and I was going to just move, job or no. Once I had a definite move date that I could state explicitly in the cover letter, I had more interviews. I moved to the Island on September 6 with two interviews set up, one for the 11th, one for the 12th. I got one of those jobs (the other one strung me along and then came on strong again in November) and started working in October. Well, by April I'd had enough of 90-minute commutes. Overall, I was very unhappy for a number of job- and company-related reasons I won't get into here. Suffice to say I was exhausted all the time, crying almost every day, and basically just hating life. They were laying people off, to boot, and I knew as one of the most recent hires, my head was on the block, so I lined up enough freelance work to make the jump into business for myself. Better to get out on my terms, because unemployment doesn't pay much. And it has been no picnic. I was offered a full-time job that seemed like a great opportunity and wound up even MORE miserable, and lasted a week. Bottom line, I still have my freelance business and I temp on the side for some stability (corporate communications--different, yet still writing). But I am seriously considering taking the civil service exams. Hey, if I'm going to work full-time, I want good benefits, decent vacation, and decent insurance, and the private, for-profit sector is cheap, cheap, cheap with all of that. So, if you do move without a job, my suggestion is to go into it with your eyes open and ready for all kinds of twists and turns. That's all. |
| rhino writer | Posted – 8/27/2008 12:44:04 PM | show profile I think you need to deal with your parental expectations before you move. Otherwise, you'll have their voices in your ear, making you turn down jobs. That won't change just because you've moved. Apart from that, it depends. If you'd be happy taking whatever job comes along (including temping and work that's not in your ideal plan), moving without a job in place might be okay. But if you have your heart set on a particular career direction, you would probably be better off with an actual job to go to. Why don't you start applying now for positions in the cities you're interested in, or research the job markets further? It's great that you're freelancing as well, and keep that up. And kudos on having a healthy amount of savings in the bank!! You also need to find out if you can get a referral to a counselor in the new city if you decide to move. |
| keke23 | Posted – 9/11/2008 1:23:47 AM | show profile ha! I loved your post. The best one I've seen on here in awhile. You sound like me.. 5 years ago.. and now. Well, I would read your stuff. What are you trying to get into and what part of the country are you located in? Get out of the tech stuff. You are miserable. The economy is crap, but this is not your fate. I would contact local newspapers and magazines and say look, this is what I can afford to work for. Will you hire me? I know it sounds crazy, but I have never actually applied for a job. I always somehow convince people to create positions for me. Try private companies. It won't work with big names. I am rooting for you! |
| caitlinkelly | Posted – 9/11/2008 8:50:11 AM | show profile I am beyond impressed with your savings. You have many more options because of them than I think you are allowing yourself to realize right now. If your overhead is low enough, I will suggest again you quit this hateful job, take a retail job at $11/hr (yes, they do exist and if it pays commission, as some do, more.) If you are smart, accurate, helpful, you will be valued and appreciated there, and maybe even find some friendly, fun co-workers, in ways you need to get your head into a better place -- and that will spill into the rest of your life. Knowing you have regular $$$ even three or four days a week will give you the freedom to CHASE every scrap of local/regional freelance work you can imagine. Whatever work you do must not drain you so badly that you feel option-free. I think many of us have been in your situation, if not in your town or region. Having nasty parents inside your head can also do tremendous damage to your hopes and dreams. If you buy into a word of it, you're toast. It's your life, not theirs. |
