It's
not a good thing: The forty staffers at Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia
who were laid
off late last week were subjected to a most humiliating, drawn-out process
by the management, as this insider reports:
-------
This week's Bitch
Box:
Perhaps you'd like to hear of the recent layoffs
at Marthastewart.com, which were handled with comic ineptitude:
When the new head of Internet operations at Marthastewart.com
arrived at the Starrett-Lehigh offices a few months ago, he held a meeting in
which he stated that "changes would be made" by March 15. What ensued
was a farcical scenario lasting several weeks in which he and employees from
human resources met with department heads at a vintage Saarinen table in Martha’s
glass office (described in a recent architectural publication as being glass
to “democratize the view” for staff members), which is located on
a well-traveled route to the kitchen and rest rooms. As the weeks passed, morale
plummeted and gossip swirled around whose names were printed on the spreadsheets
and seating charts being perused by executives in plain view of passersby.
All official meetings for the editorial group halted when the
former head of Internet operations and eventually, the web’s executive
editor, were reassigned to the magazine at 42nd Street without formally bidding
their staff farewell.
On March 14, 40 employees were laid off in another glass office
located directly across the hall from Martha’s office, IN WHICH A HIGH-SPIRITED
PHOTO SHOOT OF THE CFO'S BULLDOG, NORMAN, WAS TAKING PLACE [for Martha Stewart
Living magazine].
One by one, each employee received a phone call to a meeting in
the glass office, in which their former boss read them "talking points"
while Norman cavorted in the background. Severance packets contained a printout
called "Managing Job Loss Transitions" published by Corporate Counseling
Associates, which comprises, among other gems, a "Stages of Grief"
diagram and tips on how to "develop positive self-talk techniques."
Colleagues spent the day stunned as they watched their peers walk to the public
chopping block one by one, and then emerge red-faced after being advised to
immediately turn in their photo IDs and "exit the building in a quiet fashion."
Unfortunately, Norman is unavailable for comment.
Late-Breaking Details
from Another MSO Staffer! (Posted Monday, March 18 at 6:30 p.m.)
• The web editor threw herself a
cake party when she was moved out of our division. We all had to attend and
listen to her complain about how tough the process was on her.
• The tech chief that fired the
producer/techie-types wandered around incoherently crying and hugging people
after she was done with the firings. She actually flopped into my arms and sobbed.
I had to comfort her.
• The floorplans that the new head
honcho was perusing in the glass office — he actually had a big red marker
out, and was circling some areas and X-ing out others. I was baffled because
my corner was circled, and escorted off the side of the page by a scarlet arrow.
What did this mean? That I would keep my job, but have to commute to an alternate
dimension?
• Norman had his own stylist, a
man who apparently had professional training in spritzing the dog with some
form of glossy lubricant and rearranging his jowls. (Me, drunk at the bar with
the canned crew: "OH, I get canned, but the Jowl Stylist still has his
job. See, I knew I should've gone to Pratt.")
• The bar: We all went to the Half
King afterwards. Five of us sat down. We whined to the waitress. The waitress
came back, and announced that the second round was on the bar for those of us
who had gotten the boot. Thirty seconds later, 35 more laid-off folks arrived.
Mr. Junger and his
bar floozies deserve public accolade for getting a passle of future ex-customers
schlitzed in their time of need.
