From yesterday's "Tucker":

TUCKER CARLSON, HOST: Welcome to the show. We`re coming to you today from Los Angeles, where I`m in training for the new season of "Dancing With the Stars." ...

CARLSON: Well, there's an example of the bizarre and appalling
"American Idol" auditions going on today outside Giants Stadium. Knowing that I would like to avoid that humiliation on "Dancing with the Stars," I figured it might be a pretty good idea to ask an actual contestant about what to do and what not to do while in front of the judges. Kimberly Caldwell was a finalist during season two of "American Idol" and is now the co-host of "Reality Chat" on the "TV Guide Channel." Kimberly welcome. Have any advice for me?

KIMBERLY CALDWELL, FORMER FINALIST ON "AMERICAN IDOL": Hi Tucker.
Ok, I have some tips. Are you ready?

CARLSON: Yes.

CALDWELL: Listen, they're very important. First is never talk back
to the judges. That's a no-no. Two is if you mess up before ...

CARLSON: Wait a minute, slow down. That's going to be almost
impossible to follow that piece of advice. Why? They don't like it?

CALDWELL: No. Yeah, the fans don`t like it, I'm telling you, on
"Idol" when people talk back, they go. So it's just a tip. You don't have to take it.

CARLSON: No, I'm paying close attention, trust me.

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CALDWELL: Ok, so the second one is if you fall or you mess up, smile
and keep going. But if that doesn't work, you can always cry.

CARLSON: Does crying work for men as well as women?

CALDWELL: Yes, it does, for sure. For sure. I don't really have any people that I come right to my head right now, but yes, it does.

CARLSON: Kimberly, come on, let's be real, if I burst into tears on
"Dancing with the Stars," it's over for me. I mean, come on. Ok, what's number three?

CALDWELL: Come on, just listen to my tips, I'm very serious here.
Ok, number three is when you`re done dancing, the host is going to show a little thing at the bottom of the screen it`s going to say to vote for Tucker, dial 1-800-04, right? So then when you're done with that you have to go, -- ok?

CARLSON: Ok.

CALDWELL: Are you down with me, ok. Are you down with me, ok. And
then the other one is, if it's possible, have a showmance. Find one of the other contestants that you think is hot, maybe have a little flirting going on and then you pop up in magazines and then you`re the star of the show.

CARLSON: Wait. So I should flirt with the other contestants?

CALDWELL: Yes. You should.

CARLSON: Ok. What do I do about my wife at that point?

CALDWELL: Oh, then it's the affair and supposedly that's really big
right now. I don't know.

CARLSON: Ok. That sounds -- that seems like a lot. So I can't talk
back to the judges, I have to keep smiling even if I screw it up, I have to hit on fellow contestants and then I have to cry on stage. It seems to me even if I win at that stage, I've lost, if you know what I mean.

CALDWELL: No. No. See reality television forgives you for
everything.

CARLSON: Kimberly you would know. I appreciate it. Thank you.

CALDWELL: I would know.

CARLSON: That's it for us. Coming from Los Angeles today, thank you
for watching. Up next, "HARDBALL" with Chris. See you tomorrow.