After Dark's producer Courtney Solomon promised that the premiere party for his horror flick, Captivity, wouldn't be the same old blah evening of red carpet, screening, sponsored cocktail and home by 11. Biggest difference? No screening and open bar.

Despite the presence of the Suicide Girls (who were certainly the most polite dommettes we've ever met--one lanky young thing in gaffer tape pasties and bondage boots squeaked "pardon me, please" as she edged through the crowd) the only risky act was breathing all the second hand smoke. Or talking to Luke Ford.

Joel Stein, Claire Hoffman and Dana Goodyear were pointed out to us, but it was too much trouble to fight through the crowd and shout at them. Let's guess who gets a piece out of this first.

We observed Paul Cullum interviewing producer Solomon. Solomon sounds like Nathan Lane when he speaks, which is so unexpected in a torture/horror mogul. He explained that showing the film at the premiere party wouldn't help it at the box office. The film was banned from the Regal chain, but the MPAA wouldn't allow use of the word BANNED on the ads. You'd think they don't want people to see the movie--they didn't watch it, so why should anyone else?

Ross Johnson worked that space like a cowboy at roundup--Move 'em on, head 'em out--Rawhide! Bas Rutten obliged. Miss HorrorFest06, Black Betty, (Jessica Chisum) was a welcome addition to the red carpet, as were Ryan Starr and Rachel Leigh Cook.

We must confess that we were outside, chatting up John Lippman, while the big freak show was happening inside. If you've seen one guy hanging from meathooks, you've seen 'em all.

Later, the on-site piercer freaked people out by announcing he was a Republican who'd voted for Nixon. Some things are just too disgusting, ya know?

If we'd know Christian Johnson felt so strongly about Solomon, we would have invited him.

Mania TV has the video, as does TMZ.

The "torture rooms" were about as shocking as a Tri-Delt slumber party. Fake dead pigs don't really freak us out very much anymore. Moscow's Hungry Duck club--the real one, financed by the Russian Mafia--was the inspiration for the set dressing, and since the film was financed by Russian money, there's a theme. Ken Davitian fit right in, as did Dave Navarro.

Bai Ling wore normal clothes--that's how sedate this was. Okay, seriously, people were having a great time, the bartenders kept the crowds happy, and things were humming. But the hardly shock-fest the NYT predicted?

Star Daniel Gilles was very cute, certainly pleasant, and agreed that seeing the very real boobies of the Suicide Girls seemed more risque than the fake ones on the rent-a-trollops.

(Photos courtesy of Luke Ford, Ross Johnson, Michael Tran for Getty and After Dark.)