Kate Hahn, LA based freelancer and member of the mysterious Upod, has a very funny piece in McSweeney's. In American Girl Dolls Write to President Bush, she nails the voices of the anachronistic playthings, to wit:

KIT, A DEPRESSION-ERA GIRL

Since Daddy lost his business, I'm wishing that my array of accessories included a Molotov cocktail. Do not bother to write back, as we will probably lose our house to the bank very soon. I will miss the rose bushes Mother planted in happier times.

FBLA is dying to find out if Hahn actually has any dolls. Did she spend hours in the store at the Grove, picking up their unvoiced pleas? And are the American Girl honchos going to hire her to write more?