We can't be sure that the former Mrs. Paul Simon/Princess Leia is the culprit behind our involuntary Master Cleanse diet, but it's a good bet. Seeing how the extremely witty and open-to-the-world Fisher was sniffling into her microphone and literally "leaking" (her word for the Tammy Faye effect her watery eyes were having on her mascara), it's safe to presume that she got us violently ill.

Which means Ted Danson must be in a coma. During Fischer's one-woman play, Wishful Drinking, at the Geffen, Fisher normally plucks a hapless man out of the audience and dances with him on stage. On Thursday, that man was Danson, who very good-naturedly donned a Princess Leia wig and allowed Fischer to grope his bottom.

Fisher quipped that, knowing her luck with men, by the end of the evening Danson would either be gay or besieged with intimacy issues.

Or drowning in his own sick.

Feel better, Ted.