Everyone wants to be a celebrity assistant, but some celebs don't want to play along. Gabrielle Union's suing some Georgia-based pranksters who advertised, via Craigslist, for an worker bee to assist the actress.

Here's the sad part--no one, other than a friend, answered the ad.

Union did not have such a staff opening, does not know the defendants and never authorized them to act on her behalf, the complaint says.

But who can blame her for being touchy? She'd survived a brutal attack back when she was 19, (thanks to the lessons she learned from watching Oprah).