The Daily Caller‘s investigative reporter Matt Boyle appeared on Fox News Tuesday to discuss his bombshell report on the Obama Administration killing pensions of non-union autoworkers to save pensions of union workers. Should have been a simple hit.
Matt, we love you here at FishbowlDC, but you need a little media advice and we’re here to help.
1. The hair. Dude, never go on TV looking like you have a giant, hairy tarantula sleeping on your head. Combs don’t hurt and mousse doesn’t cause cancer.
2. Drop the “ahs.” I tried adding them up but my calculator only has 15 characters.
3. Take a quick look in a mirror before you head to the set and straighten out your suit. Looking like a kid who just had their father yank you out of the street just before a car hits you isn’t a good look. Why are your tie, shirt and jacket all pulled to the left? Is this how Tucker disciplines you?
4. The hair again. I can’t get past it. Not only does it look like a sleeping tarantula, it looks like a sleeping tarantula held on with a headband. It would be more forgivable were this hit at 4 a.m., but America Live runs from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m.
5. Moving on. For the love of God, do not ever move your tongue, mouth or lips when you are not speaking. Shockingly, it’s distracting.
6. Practice mental telepathy. Tune into the blond correspondent interviewing you and don’t ignore her. In other words, don’t talk over her or interrupt her and catch on when she rightfully interrupts you.
You’re better than this, Matt. Fox has hair people on staff so no one goes on TV looking like you did. That means you looked at yourself and said to them, “All I need is some powder.” You needed more than powder.