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Ask Piranhamous Anything

Today we have another installment of: “Ask Piranhamous Anything.” And we do mean anything. Send your queries to FishbowlDC@mediabistro.com. This isn’t an advice column — Piranhamous doesn’t know what the hell you should do with your life any more than you do — and worse, he doesn’t care. Try to keep your questions short — we want to keep this fun, simple and insightful.

1. How do you think the media in general has handled Mitt Romney winning the debate?

Like a kid walking in on their dad having sex with Santa Claus. I would have been concerned for the health of Chris Matthews, were I concerned at all about the health of Chris Matthews. MSNBC was like watching a room full of people who bet their life savings on a Mike Tyson win in the Buster Douglas fight. Looking on the bright side, it was some of the best comedy on any NBC network in a decade.

2. Do you think right-wing media is finally warming to Romney? Or is he just the best alternative for them?

You’re confusing issues. With the exception of pseudo-conservatives like David Frum and David Brooks, the right-wing has been behind Romney from the get-go. Just because their desire to beat President Obama burns with the heat of a thousands suns doesn’t mean the desire for a Romney victory doesn’t burn with the heat of 999 of them.

3. What did you think of Chris Matthews’ meltdown about Obama’s poor debate performance and his suggestion that Obama watch his show to prep for his next debate?

His leg was thrill-free and it was hilarious to watch. Saturday Night Live did a great job of mocking him over the weekend. But Chris wasn’t alone. His fraternal twin Ed Schultz was equally upset, as were identical twins Rachel Maddow and Chris Hayes. The only MSNBCer who handled himself with any semblance of self-respect that night was Al Sharpton, who went right back to “Resisting We Much” without missing a beat.

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