So far Conan appears to be smack in the middle. Not too good. But not the worst. He’s no Wayne Brady (the lowest) but he’s certainly no SNL newsman Seth Meyers (the highest) either.

Seth Meyers, 2011 WHCA dinner 2,908,365 views. Watch here.

Joe Wong, 2010 RTV Dinner 854,321 views. Watch here.

Jimmy Kimmel, 2012 WHCA dinner, 775,717 views. Watch here.

Wanda Sykes, 2009 WHCA dinner, 741,113 views. Watch here.

John Hodgman, 2009 RTV Dinner, 585,839 views. Watch here.

Conan O’Brien, 2012 WHCA dinner, 472,334 views. Watch here.

Craig Ferguson, 2008 WHCA dinner, 327,435 views. Watch here.

Rich Little, 2007 WHCA dinner 161,832 views. Watch here.

Jay Leno, 2010 WHCA dinner 149,995 views. Watch here.

Larry Wilmore, 2011 RTV dinner 13,370 views. Watch here.

Wayne Brady, 2012 RTV Dinner, 2,843 views. Watch here.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Time again to turn all that road rage into a reward.

For the second time, WTOP is rewarding listeners for their miserable morning commutes with “Commuter Idle,” a competition to see who has the worst trek from home to work.

WTOP launched the contest this time last year. The winner then was surprisingly not one of D.C.’s garbage men, who literally have to put up with shit while commuting. It was Brenda Wells, a single mother of three who travels by car (on toll roads), MARC train, Metro train and Metro bus to get from Sparrows Point, Md. to her office at the State Department. As the winner, Wells received a $1,000 cash prize and a one-day limo ride to and from work. This year’s winner receives the same prize.

continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Sigh. Only in Washington does this sort of horrible thing occur.

Last week Roll Call‘s Features section held a Capitol Quip contest. Today they ran the winning caption and it involved — of course — taxes and cherry blossoms. Everyone hates taxes and at this point no one gives a crap about the cherry blossoms that have mostly blown away after contributing profoundly to allergy sufferers’ snot and sinus issues and creating road rage-inducing traffic jams we’d rather not think about. Could it be conservative radio host Laura Ingraham, who recently griped about President Obama potentially taxing people for each cherry blossom that they view? Roll Call doesn’t reveal the name of the winner, but says he or she will receive a signed color print they can frame from the publication’s cartoonist R.J. Matson.

The contest itself is mildly fun. But taxing and cherry blossoms wasn’t funny when Ingraham made the joke to make her conservative Twitter fan club go berserk and it’s still not even fake smile funny a week later. Readers apparently chose the winner after editors picked five potential victorious captions. A slightly funny option (they were all pretty awful): “This is nice, but until Congress gets their act together, I fear it’s all just bloom and gloom.” Maybe the plan ought to be nixed next time if they’re going to choose so badly — and we mean the editors and the readers. See here.

Apparently this is going to be a weekly thing fiasco. See this week‘s contest here. Crossing our fingers for next week.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Brad Blynier, one of the owners of the War Shore Oyster Company, the company that’s harvesting the exclusive oyster for the restaurant, describes the oyster as “farm raised, premium cocktail-sized and has a robust brininess with a clean, mild and sweet finish.”

Based on the oyster’s characteristics, we’ve come up with naming suggestions but feel free to come up with your own (write us at Betsy@mediabistro.com,  fishbowldc@mediabistro.com or use our Anonymous Tips button):

The Badass Oyster: Do we even need to name the journalist who comes to work with a chain tied to his waste? That’d be BuzzFeed D.C. Bureau Chief John Stanton. The Meghan: For Meghan McCain, a tart oyster served naked of its shell; The Rose Garden: after The Daily Caller‘s Neil Munro, an oyster served live and will never shut up. The Burger Oyster: it’s cocktail-sized, after all, and has former TIME scribe and professional partygoer Tim Burger written all over it. To spice things up, we have The Rosie: sweet, tart and can cuss like a sailor for BuzzFeed‘s Rosie Gray (and we mean nothing by the tart, only that it’s a flavor that might be present in an oyster.). The Bob Schieffer, farm raised, but still clean and sweet– an undeniable D.C. institution. The Hardball Oyster: All robust and briny things should be named after MSNBC host Chris Matthews, shouldn’t they? The Pothead Oyster: all laid back and smooth, HuffPost‘s Sam Stein. The Howeeza: after mild, sweet Judy Kurtz from The Hill. The Ezzy: serious and wonky with a touch of lemon and an aroma of fresh figs for WaPo‘s favorite “f–k you” blogger Ezra Klein. The Weingarten: a little sour-aftertaste for D.C.’s ultimate curmudgeon, WaPo‘s Gene Weingarten. The Luke: for MSNBC’s Luke Russert, a very meaty oyster;  “Shorty” the Jake Sherman oyster. The Stealth Spunkster: she’s everywhere and nowhere all at once after Hollywood on the Potomac‘s Janet Donovan; and The Lady: the always well-mannered and comedy-laced Neda Semnani from Roll Call‘s HOH. The Angry Oyster: Can you guess? That’d be Tim Grieve, who just gave Politico the middle finger and bolted to National Journal. The Fresh Mouthed Oyster: Politico‘s own salty tweeter Ben White, who likes to share his crappy hotel experiences. Hey, maybe this time the Jefferson Hotel will actually hold a reservation for him or the W will give him a room that doesn’t place the bathroom in the foyer. The Potty Mouthed Oyster: Mike Elk, a brusque, sharp-flavored oyster for the labor journo who swears more than any other. The Shooter: Who else? After the gun activist journalist herself, Emily Miller of TWT. And finally, we offer The Boyle: for you-know-who, the always all blown up Matthew Boyle of Breitbart News.

Do not stop reading. We’re not kidding. Here’s the fun part… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Politico‘s Jake Sherman for finishing his first marathon in less than four hours no less. It was the Rock n’ Roll Marathon, which managed to shut down a good portion of the city on Saturday. Quite an accomplishment. And even though this post could well qualify him for the Dept. of Bragiculture, completing a first marathon in less than four hours is actually something to brag about.

Since it’s unclear what running shoes he wore for the big race, we’re taking wild guesses.

I ran my first marathon in 3:55. Fueled by the band, allman brothers, phish and the grateful dead. My goal was to break 4 hours.

— Jake Sherman (@JakeSherman) March 16, 2013

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

You must admit, the kicks are pretty snazzy.

Clue #1: He has a particular affinity for Nicki Minaj.

Clue #2: He can be contemplative.

Clue #3: He enjoys HBO.

Clue #4: He’s from Washington, but not D.C. and not Washington State.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“My puppy at her 14 week trim.” — April Ryan.

Today starts Dogbowl 2013. And it begins with American Urban Radio White House Correspondent April Ryan‘s puppy, Sapphire. Three years ago, the feature began quite innocently when we declared that Syndicated columnist Karl Frisch‘s puppy, Dexter von Frisch, was the cutest dog in Washington. At the time, he was four-months-old, weighed 12 pounds and was already reading FishbowlDC on a near daily basis. Many readers disagreed with our choice — and a new feature was born as pictures poured in from journalists all over town.

Ryan’s pooch has a certain regal air to her and who can resist those pink bows?

Think your dog has what it takes to make our list? Send us a picture and a graph telling us about the dog’s personality, likes and dislikes. We may ask to meet your pooch in person. If you’re a member of Washington’s media or a political journalist, send to fishbowldc@mediabistro.com or to Betsy@mediabistro.com. Dogs who entered our previous contest may enter again. We’re making an exception for Washington newest dog named after a media personality, Chuck Todd. He may enter the contest if he’s not too busy parading around the dog park showing off his famous name.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

On Thursday we asked you to name this spectacularly maned gentleman who showed up to The New Republic‘s relaunch party at Bibiana.

Guesses include Bloomberg‘s Al Hunt, Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), former Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) and former talk show host Phil Donahue.

The correct answer is… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Last night at the The New Republic bash at Bibiana, this puff of white hair jumped out at us like a big giant marshmallow.

So who is it?

Send your best guesses to fishbowldc@mediabistro.com or to Betsy@mediabistro.com.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

On Monday we presented you with this woman’s choker necklace, worn by a female journalist at The Atlantic pre-inaugural party Sunday night at Publisher David Bradley‘s house. We asked for guesses on who it was, and this is what you told us:

The Atlantic‘s Scott Stossel wrote into FishbowlDC, saying, “That’s easy, I’d recognize that neck anywhere: Charles Krauthammer. I’d always pegged him for a big 50 Shades fan.”

Other guesses: Reader Vicky Shannon writes in, “My guess for the choker-wearer is Barbara Harrison.” Former White House Press Secretary Dee Dee Myers and AOL-HuffPost’s Arianna Huffington were among the other guesses.

Indeed, the correct guess is one that no one offered. It’s Washingtonian Editor-at-Large Carol Joynt (as pictured above). She says this piece of jewelry is among her favorites, but rarely wears it. She explained, “Bought it about 5 years ago at Hermes boutique in Florida as a Christmas present to myself. I’m aware women aren’t supposed to buy jewelry for themselves, but that’s like waiting for a man to open the door. By the way, there’s a heart on the lock. It’s sweet.”

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Politico‘s Jonathan Martin had a tough night last night. After all, he had something happen that only happens at second-grade talent shows. In short, his kazoo stopped working and he lost a trivia contest.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Karen Feld

At one point she accused her brother of giving her brain damage by throwing her out of a family gathering honoring a dead aunt and filed a $110 million lawsuit against him. According to Daily Mail, she alleged that “she was forcefully removed by a trio of ‘large, aggressive’ bodyguards, beaten and thrown into an elevator along with her poodle.” The D.C. Court of Appeals ultimately rejected her appeal.

Obviously those two browning pups of hers, Compari and and Bellini, are nothing to sniff at, even if they aren’t the cleanest. (Please ignore the caramel spot above Compari’s nose.) After all, they made the finals of the New Yorkie Runway competition to benefit Angel on a Leash.

Feld sent out a letter about it. She clearly thinks the dogs are human and signed the letter, “Karen, Compari & Bellini.” continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Atlantic Media Company

According to a release, the award “recognizes writers and editors at U.S.-based newspapers, magazines, and Web sites whose work exemplifies a quality that animated Michael Kelly’s own career: the fearless pursuit and expression of truth.” Atlantic created the award to honor Kelly, who died in 2003 while covering the war in Iraq. Kelly was editor of two Atlantic Media publications, The Atlantic and National Journal.

The prize: $25,000. Each finalist wins $3,000.

Entry guidelines can be found… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“This will be a first,” Spicer told FishbowlDC, explaining he has never shaved his hair off before. “Everyone at the RNC poured their heart is soul into this election so losing was tough, but knowing that something positive is coming of it makes the disappointment of election night a little easier.” Asked how his wife was feeling about the prospect of him going bald, he replied, “My wife ensured holiday photos were taken, but as a mother she is supportive of any effort that furthers research of childhood cancer.”

Host George Stephanopoulos, with the help of ABC News’ Jonathan Karl, who will be in charge of the shaving, will bring… continued…

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Send your guesses to fishbowldc@mediabistro.com or to Betsy@mediabistro.com. As always we will provide hints so the guessing may begin. (We’ll do the big reveal late night or tomorrow.)

Hint #1: You can often see this journo on TV.

Hint #2: His wife calls him “Scoops.”

Hint #3: Some of his colleagues are also wearing these socks tonight.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.