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Project Fishbowl: The Hill’s 50 Beauties

This morning we enter Project Fishbowl to closely examine The Hill’s 10th Anniversary “50 Most Beautiful People List.” This year saw a few changes as they allowed White House Administration people to enter the fray in addition to political types on Capitol Hill and K Street. There’s also a dandy new layout that allows for easy viewing and flipping through the winners. Here we offer our raw reviews of the beauties – FishbowlDC style. Warning: To the easily offended (you know who you are) you might want to skip this because we won’t apologize.

In no particular order… let’s begin.

Piranhamous:  Very sexy in that ‘lock you in his basement’ kind of way.  Too soon?

Peter: I think I recognize this guy from my grandma’s “Shop Teachers of the Mid-Atlantic” calendar she had in 1984.

Anonymous journo: So, the West Wing was allowed on this year’s list. But who said anything about daytime TV shrinks?

Justin: Right out of GQ, obviously.

Betsy: Bald and plump with a “Magnum, P.I.” stache. Literally doesn’t get any better than this.

Piranhamous:  Caught on Camera!  Stephanie Green’s pearls attack curling-iron-haired cutie!!!

Peter: That necklace is made of human teeth.

Anonymous journo: Glad she listened to the flight attendant and fastened her seat belt.

Justin: The necklace scares me a bit—or a lot. But I love the smile.

Betsy: How many “cuties” can one list have? Please, STOP the usage of that word. Serious question: Can a necklace self-strangle a human being?

Piranhamous: Jai from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy proves there is life after reality TV.

Peter: They let Billy Elliot on the list! His face screams, “Bro, do you even pirouette?”

Anonymous journo: Oretga’s face never moves. Even during his daily Capitol Hill parkour workouts (involves jumping off balconies and buildings).

Justin: But did he stick the landing? I can’t pass judgment without this vital piece of information.

Betsy: Who let Pee Wee Herman on the list? Is that even appropriate?

Piranhamous: I loved his rendition of the National Anthem at the NBA Finals.

Peter: “And Emmanuel Lewis as Webster…”

Anonymous journo: Where’s the yearbook quote?

Justin: Just… no. Our society already exploits children way too much, I won’t be a part of it.

Betsy: Has someone called Child Protective Services or checked the milk cartons? This can’t be legal. Read more

Summer Superlatives 2013: Best Bangs

Today we begin our 2013 Summer Superlatives contest with a late entry to the race: Best Bangs. If you hadn’t noticed, we like hair items and bangs are not always a good look. Whoever can pull them off is a rare individual worthy of many compliments. But who deserves the praise?

Our nominees include Red Alert‘s Nikki SchwabBreitbart News and Townhall’s Lisa de Pasquale, HuffPost‘s Washington Bureau Chief Ryan Grim and NBC’s Luke Russert. We’re throwing in Michelle Obama just for the hell of it. She does appear to be responsible for this year’s bang craze.

Wrote one tipster, “Nikki Schwab’s are awesome. Her ‘do is simply perfect for her face frame and she pulls them off beautifully! Not everyone can like she does. Obligatory corresponding photo attached.”

Let the voting begin.

Graphics by Austin Price

FBDC Summer Superlatives 2013 (The Reminder Notice)

Dear Readers,

The deadline is fast approaching. Please get your nominations in by Sunday midnight. The fun begins next week as we start the voting process for Summer Superlatives 2013. Don’t miss out. Depending on the nominations we receive we’re considering adding “Best Dressed” and “Best Bangs” (as in hair). So keep those in mind. Find the nomination categories here.

Sincerely,

FishbowlDC Management

FishbowlDC Summer Superlatives 2013

Today we roll out the red carpet for our 2013 Class of Summer Superlatives. This is where we momentarily return to high school and place our classmates–our colleagues–into fun loving categories. We are insanely excited to unveil this summer’s superlatives, as there’s never a shortage of high drama among Washington’s press corps.

So here’s what’s going to happen. First and foremost, we need your expertise with the nominees. Tell us where the journalist (or flack) works and why they deserve the superlative. You will have a deadline of Sunday at midnight to send them in to FishbowlDC@mediabistro.com or to Betsy@mediabistro.com. All nominations will be anonymous even if it’s obvious or you tell us who you are. They can be as clean or mean as you want — if they’re too mean or X-rated we may not run them on the site, but we’ll certainly have a good laugh at our next FishbowlDC board meeting.

After we’ve gathered the nominees for each category we’ll be back in touch next week and have you vote on the winners one category at a time. Good luck and don’t miss our deadline or we’ll send our extremely intimidating intern (don’t forget, he knows photoshop) out to your newsroom to bug you.

Let the games begin.

1. Biggest self-promoter

2. Worst temper

3. Drama King and Queen

4.  Favorite flack/Most despised flack

5.  Troublemaker

6.  Class clown

7.  Best eyes

8. Sexiest

9.  Most respected journo in Washington

10. Debbie Downer (can be male or female)

11. Favorite pundit to watch on TV

Graphic by Austin Price

Roll Call Launches Fantasy Softball League for Annual Women’s Game

Forget fantasy football, there’s a new way to compete in sports while sitting on your couch with your laptop and scarfing pizza.

Roll Call has started its own fantasy softball league to correspond with the fifth annual Congressional Women’s Softball Game, which pits women of the Washington Press Corps against congresswomen to raise money for Young Survival Coalition, an organization that aids young women with breast cancer.

Read more

Whose Shoes: The Big Reveal

On Friday we asked you to figure out who these two male journalists are based on their shoes and a few hints. Here’s the answer: It’s Politico‘s media show duo Patrick Gavin and Dylan Byers. By the way, just in case you were confused (like we were), Dylan has donned the bright yellow sneakers (that match his Big Bird outfit?) and Gavin is showing off his boat shoes.

Where Does Conan O’Brien Stack Up?

It’s been a little more than week since the White House Correspondents Association Dinner. But before we start dreading anticipating next year’s festivities, where does Conan O’Brien stack up among C-SPAN YouTube views of comedians performing at the WHCD or the less obnoxious version of Washington’s Oscars, the Radio and TV Congressional Correspondents’ Dinner?

So far Conan appears to be smack in the middle. Not too good. But not the worst. He’s no Wayne Brady (the lowest) but he’s certainly no SNL newsman Seth Meyers (the highest) either.

Seth Meyers, 2011 WHCA dinner 2,908,365 views. Watch here.

Joe Wong, 2010 RTV Dinner 854,321 views. Watch here.

Jimmy Kimmel, 2012 WHCA dinner, 775,717 views. Watch here.

Wanda Sykes, 2009 WHCA dinner, 741,113 views. Watch here.

John Hodgman, 2009 RTV Dinner, 585,839 views. Watch here.

Conan O’Brien, 2012 WHCA dinner, 472,334 views. Watch here.

Craig Ferguson, 2008 WHCA dinner, 327,435 views. Watch here.

Rich Little, 2007 WHCA dinner 161,832 views. Watch here.

Jay Leno, 2010 WHCA dinner 149,995 views. Watch here.

Larry Wilmore, 2011 RTV dinner 13,370 views. Watch here.

Wayne Brady, 2012 RTV Dinner, 2,843 views. Watch here.

Crappy Commute Stories Return to WTOP

Time again to turn all that road rage into a reward.

For the second time, WTOP is rewarding listeners for their miserable morning commutes with “Commuter Idle,” a competition to see who has the worst trek from home to work.

WTOP launched the contest this time last year. The winner then was surprisingly not one of D.C.’s garbage men, who literally have to put up with shit while commuting. It was Brenda Wells, a single mother of three who travels by car (on toll roads), MARC train, Metro train and Metro bus to get from Sparrows Point, Md. to her office at the State Department. As the winner, Wells received a $1,000 cash prize and a one-day limo ride to and from work. This year’s winner receives the same prize.

Read more

When Editors and Readers Choose Poorly…

Sigh. Only in Washington does this sort of horrible thing occur.

Last week Roll Call‘s Features section held a Capitol Quip contest. Today they ran the winning caption and it involved — of course — taxes and cherry blossoms. Everyone hates taxes and at this point no one gives a crap about the cherry blossoms that have mostly blown away after contributing profoundly to allergy sufferers’ snot and sinus issues and creating road rage-inducing traffic jams we’d rather not think about. Could it be conservative radio host Laura Ingraham, who recently griped about President Obama potentially taxing people for each cherry blossom that they view? Roll Call doesn’t reveal the name of the winner, but says he or she will receive a signed color print they can frame from the publication’s cartoonist R.J. Matson.

The contest itself is mildly fun. But taxing and cherry blossoms wasn’t funny when Ingraham made the joke to make her conservative Twitter fan club go berserk and it’s still not even fake smile funny a week later. Readers apparently chose the winner after editors picked five potential victorious captions. A slightly funny option (they were all pretty awful): “This is nice, but until Congress gets their act together, I fear it’s all just bloom and gloom.” Maybe the plan ought to be nixed next time if they’re going to choose so badly — and we mean the editors and the readers. See here.

Apparently this is going to be a weekly thing fiasco. See this week‘s contest here. Crossing our fingers for next week.

Want an Oyster Named for You and a Free Party?

You’re a journalist.  Come on, you love to see your byline. So we have an unusually fishy idea: name an Oyster after yourself (or a coworker) and have the name immortalized forever. P.J. Clarke’s is introducing its’ own signature oyster on Tuesday, with its name to be chosen by secret ballot.

Brad Blynier, one of the owners of the War Shore Oyster Company, the company that’s harvesting the exclusive oyster for the restaurant, describes the oyster as “farm raised, premium cocktail-sized and has a robust brininess with a clean, mild and sweet finish.”

Based on the oyster’s characteristics, we’ve come up with naming suggestions but feel free to come up with your own (write us at Betsy@mediabistro.com,  fishbowldc@mediabistro.com or use our Anonymous Tips button):

The Badass Oyster: Do we even need to name the journalist who comes to work with a chain tied to his waste? That’d be BuzzFeed D.C. Bureau Chief John Stanton. The Meghan: For Meghan McCain, a tart oyster served naked of its shell; The Rose Garden: after The Daily Caller‘s Neil Munro, an oyster served live and will never shut up. The Burger Oyster: it’s cocktail-sized, after all, and has former TIME scribe and professional partygoer Tim Burger written all over it. To spice things up, we have The Rosie: sweet, tart and can cuss like a sailor for BuzzFeed‘s Rosie Gray (and we mean nothing by the tart, only that it’s a flavor that might be present in an oyster.). The Bob Schieffer, farm raised, but still clean and sweet– an undeniable D.C. institution. The Hardball Oyster: All robust and briny things should be named after MSNBC host Chris Matthews, shouldn’t they? The Pothead Oyster: all laid back and smooth, HuffPost‘s Sam Stein. The Howeeza: after mild, sweet Judy Kurtz from The Hill. The Ezzy: serious and wonky with a touch of lemon and an aroma of fresh figs for WaPo‘s favorite “f–k you” blogger Ezra Klein. The Weingarten: a little sour-aftertaste for D.C.’s ultimate curmudgeon, WaPo‘s Gene Weingarten. The Luke: for MSNBC’s Luke Russert, a very meaty oyster;  “Shorty” the Jake Sherman oyster. The Stealth Spunkster: she’s everywhere and nowhere all at once after Hollywood on the Potomac‘s Janet Donovan; and The Lady: the always well-mannered and comedy-laced Neda Semnani from Roll Call‘s HOH. The Angry Oyster: Can you guess? That’d be Tim Grieve, who just gave Politico the middle finger and bolted to National Journal. The Fresh Mouthed Oyster: Politico‘s own salty tweeter Ben White, who likes to share his crappy hotel experiences. Hey, maybe this time the Jefferson Hotel will actually hold a reservation for him or the W will give him a room that doesn’t place the bathroom in the foyer. The Potty Mouthed Oyster: Mike Elk, a brusque, sharp-flavored oyster for the labor journo who swears more than any other. The Shooter: Who else? After the gun activist journalist herself, Emily Miller of TWT. And finally, we offer The Boyle: for you-know-who, the always all blown up Matthew Boyle of Breitbart News.

Do not stop reading. We’re not kidding. Here’s the fun partRead more

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