Today we’re rolling out our nominees for FishbowlDC’s Summer Superlatives 2012. We can hardly wait to reveal who made the final cut. But before we do, some guidelines. We will run the list of nominees in its entirety below, but no voting will transpire until we run separate polls for each superlative.
So hold your horses, and don’t start flooding us with your “votes.” However, you may have funny or entertaining thoughts on the nominees. If they’re clever enough and not too scathingly mean (and by this we mean potential lawsuit mean) we’ll run them.
1. Biggest Self-Promoter: The Daily Caller’s Michelle Fields, ABC News White House Correspondent Jake Tapper, The Daily Beast and CNN’s Howard Kurtz, WaPo’s Chris Cillizza, and Publicist Tammy Haddad (if you’re not on her list, you’re not getting in).
2. Worst temper: Mother Jones’s David Corn (watch out bookshop proprietors!), Politico’s Jim VandeHei (occasional hothead), Politico’s Tim Grieve (perpetual hothead), Mediaite’s Tommy Christopher (another perpetual hothead), and Slate’s Matt Yglesias.
3. Favorite Flack: President Obama campaign spokeswoman Jen Psaki, Mitt Romney spokesman Brendan Buck, House Maj. Leader Eric Cantor’s Deputy Chief of Staff Doug Heye and NRCC’s Brian Walsh (pitched as Drama and Turtle), C-SPAN’s Howard Mortman, House Maj. Whip Kevin McCarthy spokeswoman Erica Elliott (if you don’t follow her candid travel tweets, you must start now at @EricaElliott).
4. Most likely to wind up in jail: Politico’s Joe Williams, PR Exec. David Bass, BuzzFeed’s John Stanton, The Daily Caller’s David Martosko, The Daily Caller’s Neil Munro, Reason‘s Mike Riggs and freelancer Moe Tkacik (who has been known to go off on people on Twitter when you least expect it).
5. Class Clown (Wittiest): Sirius XM’s Julie Mason, Roll Call HOH’s Neda Semnani, Yahoo! News’ Olivier Knox, Reuter‘s Sam Youngman, The Atlantic‘s Scott Stossel, Wonkette and The Guardian‘s Jim Newell and The Drudge Report’s Charlie Hurt.
6. Most likely to end up with a reality show: Mediaites’s Tommy Christopher, ABC7’s Stephen Tschida, TWT‘s Emily Miller, Susanna Quinn (socialite, writer), Publicist Wendy Gordon, Publicist and blogger Janet Donovan, NBC’s Luke Russert (his likes include dragonflies, WaPo interns and Politico’s Jake Sherman), Current TV’s David Shuster (who still has a ton of friends at MSNBC), and CNN’s Roland Martin (who insists that his woman brings a big purse to movies so the fam can sneak in candy and water).
7. Best On-air Personality: ABC’s Jake Tapper, The Daily Caller’s Tucker Carlson, MSNBC’s Chuck Todd, CBS’s Bob Schieffer and Nancy Cordes, HuffPost‘s Sam Stein, and WaPo’s Nia-Malika Henderson.
8. Best dressed: Politico’s Ken Vogel and Kate Nocerra, WaPo’s Jonathan Capehart, RCP’s Erin McPike, CNN’s Kate Balduan.
9. Best writer: The Weekly Standard’s Matt Labash, The New Yorker’s Ryan Lizza, NJ’s Major Garrett, NYT’s Mark Leibovich, Ashley Parker and Maureen Dowd, WaPo‘s Karen Tumulty, HuffPost’s Eliot Nelson, Washingtonian’s Luke Mullins.
10. Most in need of a salad (i.e. they’ve either porked up or else they eat junk food all day long and could use an intervention from Dr. Oz.): Politico’s Jonathan Allen and Jonathan Martin, Slate‘s Dave Weigel, HuffPost’s Peter Cherukuri and Jason Linkins, FNC’s Bob Beckel and Bret Baier, and author and former TWTer Rich Miniter (don’t sue me!).
11. Sexiest: AP‘s Steve Peoples, Atlantic Publisher Justin Smith, Washingtonian‘s Kate Bennett, Real Housewives of D.C.’s sassy stylist Paul Wharton, CNN’s Brianna Keilar, NBC4′s Doug Kammerer and Maynard Institute’s Richard Prince (a.k.a. The Fresh Prince of FishbowlDC).
12. Most in need of a makeover: CQ Roll Call (the entire publication), The Daily Caller’s Matthew Boyle, TWT’s Stephen Dinan (Donald Duck ties?), Publicist Wendy Gordon (those French maid ensembles must go), DCRTV’s Dave Hughes (the child molester look went out in the 80s) and Mediaite’s Tommy Christopher.
Standup comic Will Durst is a five-time Emmy nominee, political satirist and cheeseburger enthusiast.
Durst is in town today and tomorrow performing at the Comedy Theater on E St. We caught up with him to pick his brain on the pressing issues of the day.
1. Has President Obama completed his evolution? Well, he’s evolved enough to grow some flippers to walk on dry land and crawl to Dick Cheney’s position on gay marriage. Perhaps he grew some other things as well.
2. Does Mitt Romney have any evolving to do? In what areas? Not sure Mr. Romney can evolve. They keep saying the long campaign made him a better candidate. But the only thing he’s done for five years is run for president. Pretty sure his learning curve has run out of bendy parts. He’s just electile dysfunctional. Finally figured out who Romney is: he’s Thurston P. Howell III before the island. And Ann is training to be Lovie.
3. Who’s your favorite journalist (print or TV)? Love a lot of gifted writers out there: but especially [NYT's] Gail Collins. She manages to merge punditry with humor. Doesn’t take herself or her opinions too seriously. It’s rare that this particular medium is so well done. And Carl Cameron on Fox News for the exceptional job he’s doing of passing.
4. What do you think of Sarah Palin co-hosting “Today”? Should she do it full time? Don’t care what the former Governor of Alaska does as long as she keeps doing it. The girl can’t help herself. Every two weeks with her there’s something. Every two weeks she erupts. She’s like Republican herpes. But I mean that in a good way. “Celebrity Apprentice” should be next on her list.
5. Michele Bachmann recently received dual-citizenship status with the U.S and Switzerland. What’s the significance of this? More yodeling from behind the closed door of Marcus‘s bedroom?
Note: Since this interview took place Michele Bachmann says she has renounced her dual-citizenship status with Switzerland.
And the final four…
In a pool of sex machines like The Hill‘s Hugo Gurdon and Daily Caller’s Tucker Carlson it’s tough to imagine anyone winning FishbowlDC’s Sexiest Male of 2011 title by a landslide. But believe it or not, the boyish good looks of Politico’s Patrick Reis clobbered the competition with over 50% of the popular vote. Capitol Hill Ken Doll aka Kevin Madden came in a distant second with 16.3% of the vote. Tucker Carlson, just shy of the silver, trailed Madden by only three votes.
The stress of the spotlight proved too much for Coral Davenport, Amy Harder and Olga Belogolova. Citing migraines and lack of sleep, NJ’s Energy trio accidentally moved sexy forward when they should have been bringing it back. The slip bumped them into second place while WUSA-9′s Kristin Fisher took gold and the title of Sexiest Female of 2011 with 38.5% of the vote. In case you’re wondering, sultry senior seductress Helen Thomas finished third.
The title of Most Underrated went to Ryan Grim of the Huffington Post. The rock-solid reporter earned 36.61% of the vote, pushing him ahead of Roll Call’s Paul Singer who snagged a respectable 28.5% of the vote.
Winning by only a hair, Cabbage Patch lookalike and 2011′s Biggest Self-Promoter Matt Mackowiak upset Daily Caller’s Kurt Bardella and stole all the glory with 36.36% of the vote to Bardella’s 34.93%. Ouch!
Congrats to Reis, Fisher, Grim and Mackowiak! And there you have the FishbowlDC Class of 2011!
Although she’s mysteriously MIA, Ana Marie Cox still managed to win the Most Scandalous category of FishbowlDC’s Summer Superlatives competition. Rivaled only by the Daily Caller’s David Martosko, Cox pulled in an impressive 37.72% of the vote, edging out Martsoko and his rap sheet who earned only 28.74% of your votes.
It was a campaign promise that pushed Emily Miller ahead of Chris Matthews for glory in the Biggest Drama Queen category. She snagged 48.96% of the vote after pledging to tweet a photo of herself wearing a Jason Mattera-style wife beater and rhinestone-studded tiara if Fishbowl crowned her the winner. To help Miller make good on her promise, we purchased the tiara this weekend (we’re not kidding). *Stay tuned for the photo.
CNN’s Candy Crowley had no problem taking the title of Most Trusted with 42.33% of the vote. While the Biggest Open Bar Fly category went to the Examiner’s Nikki Schwab who beat out Brendan Kownacki by only 4 votes for the distinguished honor.
Congrats to Cox, Miller, Crowley and Schwab!
There’s certainly no shortage of over-hyped ass clowns in Washington’s media world. But for each no-talent hack with press pass, there are dozens of rock-solid reporters whose talents fail to receive their due recognition. That’s why FishbowlDC is honoring the District’s all-guts-and-no-glory journalists in our last category of superlatives: Most Underrated. Each of our five finalists deserves some time in the spotlight but which one is the Most Underrated of 2011? The nominees are… National Journal’s Sue Davis, CBS News’ Nancy Cordes, C-SPAN’s Steve Scully, Roll Call’s Paul Singer and Ryan Grim from the Huffington Post. Vote it up!