We do hope BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton also received this miniature bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey with the accompanying shot glass.

If he didn’t, we may be willing to part with ours. We hear he has a special fondness for it. He’ll enjoy it more.

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CNN contributor concludes that Bob Schieffer “must be straight”– The sexuality of CBS News anchor Bob Schieffer probably isn’t something most people spend time thinking about. But after he remarked that President Obama‘s Inaugural address had “no real memorable lines,” CNN.com’s LZ Granderson figured it was a good time to broach the issue. He wrote today that “CBS’ Bob Schieffer must be straight,” noting that there was one “pretty memorable” passage from Obama’s speech in support of gay marriage. For the record, Schieffer is married. To a woman.

Advice columnist tells reader to break up with boyfriend because he doesn’t like her criminal best friend– “Trouble in Tennessee” wrote in this week to WaPo advice columnist Carolyn Hax for some relationship guidance. The reader says she’s been in a “tumultuous” relationship but that her boyfriend has said he’s willing to continue it if she will stop seeing her best friend. Problem: The best friend participates in unnamed “illegal activities.” The best friend, however, has supposedly “cleaned up her act for the most part” (ie. she’s still doing illegal things sometimes). Hax advises the reader to break up with the boyfriend because he’s just too controlling. Because it’s not at all reasonable to ask your significant other to stop hanging around criminals.

National Zoo apes join douchebags who have iPads to do mindless sh-t – iPads can be used for productive things. By and large, however, most people (ages 2 and up) use them to play stupid games and take poorly-framed photos in their bathroom mirror. Apes at the National Zoo join the crowd. They now know how to play a harp-simulating music application on the device, according to a feature by Eric P. Newcomer in the Washington Examiner. Why couldn’t they be taught something useful with an iPad? Like how to read, paint their toenails or tie scarves?

Atlantic editor wants more talk about poop transplants… continued…

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See the story, complete with lots of pictures of the self-obsessed gubernatorial candidate.

UPDATE: We asked Rojas if Tareq made himself available to media who attended his shindig. He replied, “Other than making everyone wait while he wrapped with the ‘In It to Win It’ crew (the planned documentary about his bid for the governorship), Salahi was fairly accessible. He made his way through the crowd at least once before his introductory speech, pausing to speak with me and a local reporter who quizzed Salahi for a good 10-15 minutes. Salahi was totally pleasant and engaging, even if his answers were devoid of specific policies [or] concrete proposals. “

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WaPo

Dionne never even mentions The American Prospect until the fifth graph. Instead he talks about his love of opinions — all opinions — and reading those with whom he disagrees like National Review and Human Events. Once perched on the Prospect, he spends the remaining five graphs explaining why he is pleading for you to save it.

He even gives a major shout-out to budding opinion journos like our Ezzy (WaPo‘s Ezra Klein) and more.

“The maddening aspect of The Prospect’s crisis is that it has been innovative in dealing with the new online world that, as an opinion-lover, I also appreciate (even if I would insist that opinionated writing can never substitute for the relentless daily reporting of the traditional news outlets). The magazine gave a start or a big push to some of the best younger progressive online writers now gracing us with their views. They include Ezra Klein, Matt Yglesias, Jonathan Cohn, Kate Sheppard, Dana Goldstein, Laura Secor and Jonathan Chait.”

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On Monday, Current’s Chief News Officer created an uproar when he and guest Markos Moulitsas joked about alleged rapes at Occupy Wall Street protests. This is always a dumb move. He later doubled-down on the stupid when he tweeted “No Occupy rapes, no cover-up, no apology, no retraction…” and accused BigGov’s Andrew Breitbart of creating the whole thing in an attempt to discredit the protests.

When Big Journalism Contributor Lee Stranahan complied all the rape and sexual assault stories about Occupy in one post for the world to see, you’d think that would’ve been the end of it. But Olbermann’s ego won’t allow anyone to have the last word on anything, so he “debunked” each one, one by one.

Unfortunately for Keith, the Breitbart websites are not the silent, wallflower types even if their writing is sometimes abominable.

In his “debunking,” Olbermann changed his tune from “No Occupy rapes” to “Because almost none of the allegations are of rape and most of this list are duplicated…” to “2 stories duplicated” to “Occupy MEMBERS were victims.” That’s quite a journey in just one day, especially without ever acknowledging his position completely changed.

Even still, where he ended up, that the victims and not the perpetrators were the only Occupy people involved in these rapes and sexual assaults, isn’t the truth. After Olbermann’s “debunking, Stranahan was back a few hours later with a section by section debunking of what Olbermann said. Keith then went silent, maybe to bed, maybe to play with his baseball cards, or maybe to Stuart Smalley in the mirror to calm his nerves.

On a final note, Olbermann tweeted, “Here’s a wager: @DLoesch (Editor-in-Chief of Big Journalism) and @AndrewBreitbart will NOT post the video of tonight’s debunking.” They did. No terms were offered, but here’s a wager: Olbermann won’t admit they made a fool of him.

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USA Today‘s Washington Bureau Chief Susan Page tweeted this unusually personal message to CBS Political Director John Dickerson this morning at 5:05 a.m. “@jdickerson We’re up because Carl was trying to make it to first base in a dream and fell out of bed. (He was on the Yankees, BTW.)”

Dickerson replied, “Yes, but did he beat the throw?”

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Tuesday, Meghan took to her blog to offer some advice on “How to avoid 140-character regret,” four pearls of wisdom on how she tries to avoid exposing herself as an idiot by making embarrassing mistakes on Twitter.

She describes it this way: “Here are some rules I’ve set for myself to avoid any Tweet-centric mishaps or regrets.”

Overlooking the opening graph that would earn a D- in a third grade writing class, her points are as follows.

“1. Never tweet directly after a breakup, trust me no good will come of this. You are too emotionally raw and you don’t want to take it out on your twitter family.”

OK, not the worst advice ever. But it’s a lot like telling a kid “Don’t stare at the sun.” It’s gonna happen. But still, not a horrible start. Though referring to strangers on Twitter as “family” is a bit odd.

“2. Never tweet when you are angry in response to a follower. Take a step back and breathe- it’s just some anonymous person on the internet.”

First, the word “Internet” should be capitalized. Second, didn’t she just say people on Twitter were her family? Now they’re “just some anonymous person”? Where’s the love, Meghan? Third, if Twitter isn’t for fighting and letting the world see pictures of what you’re eating for dinner, what’s it for?

“3. Make sure that whenever you post a picture, you have looked over numerous times to make sure it’s correct. Tori Spelling’s husband recently tweeted a topless picture of his wife accidentally without realizing it- yikes!”

OK, there’s just a lot of stupid happening here. A LOT! Take a second and read that again, then realize that she’s a Columbia University graduate and PAID to write for The Daily Beast. The first sentence has a missing “it” and “Tori Spelling’s husband recently tweeted a topless picture of his wife accidentally without realizing it…”? Who would Tori Spelling’s husband’s wife be? And could you “accidentally” tweet something while realizing it? If this is what you get with an Ivy League education, community college for everyone! Tina Brown, that sound you hear is your brand tarnishing.

“4. And finally, try not to tweet anything you wouldn’t be comfortable with your mother, grandmother or sister reading – that’s my rule of thumb.”

Um…Uh…Why did she feel the need to make three points about her “rules,” then, in the final point, say THIS ONE is her “rule of thumb”?  What are the other three? General guidelines she thinks people should just ignore as long as grandma, mom and sis are cool with what you’ve said? “Rules of pinky”?

You have to wonder sometimes if Meghan ever reads what she’s written. More than that, you have to wonder how hard it is for colleagues at MSNBC and The Daily Beast to not laugh at her when she’s around. As for the rest of us, it’s a good thing she’s not around.

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New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Please, Fishbowlers, we’d really like to see your creative captions. Send to FishbowlDC@mediabistro.com or to Betsy@mediabistro.com. Or tweet us your caption at @FishbowlDC.

“Bo may look like an ordinary dog but trust me, Harvey, he’s so much more.”

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TWT

Don’t be crazy. We’re kidding.

For real though, she’s headed to City Hall today to find the gun permit office. A new series will follow her through all the red tape of legally acquiring a gun in the District. She writes, “My desire for a gun started when I had to face down over a dozen criminals on an empty cul de sac in Washington, D.C., armed only with a Blackberry.”

In a story today she takes readers through the crime that involved a man with bloodshot eyes and a useless dog.

This is a must-read.

Note to Readers: In Sept. 2009, Christian Davenport wrote a similar story for WaPo. An editor asked Davenport to purchase a gun. Some 15 hours and four trips to the Metro Police Dept. later, he got his gun. We’ll see how Miller fares.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.